I keep saying I’m going to start a blog. From the time Blake, now three, was a baby, I’ve wanted to record and remember the little discoveries that excite him, and the ways that he makes even strangers smile. And then suddenly, 20 months later, Terry was born.

It finally hit me that I really SHOULD have written something about those moments, because seeing a new face react and new hands explore the world, I slowly forgot when and how Blake did those things. I’ve always wanted to write something for them. To look back and have records of the moments that mattered most to us, even though they wouldn’t remember them. And for my wife, Michelle, to be able to look into the moments she had to miss while busy at work. These moments are precious, but the details are too quickly forgotten.

But this blog is different. It’s more for me, and you, to explore parenthood. A rare moment in the life of a mother, but this moment, is about us. Moms. Parents.

One thing I can promise, is that I am no expert. I will never claim to be a perfect mother, or even to know the best way to do something. I won’t claim to know the best recipes that’ll have your kids BEGGING for more. I won’t talk about Pinterest projects that my kids make perfectly, because, A. Pinterest? and B. an organized project? I don’t pretend to have it all together, and I never will. If you look at our home, you’ll see that’s true.

I also don’t claim to be an English scholar with a knack for writing and analyzing. On the contrary, I’ve studied Spanish Linguistics and am just as comfortable writing about all of this in Spanish. What I want to share, and hopefully learn about parenting, is all about heart. Surely, my brain can’t keep up with that most days after chasing two toddlers in different directions.

I am, however, a mom who likes to talk about my kids, my wife and our growing family.

I love to share ideas and stories with other parents. I find so much strength in the bonds I create with close friends who are also parents, experiencing the same challenges and successes of raising children. And being a lesbian, and how damn hard we had to work, or how much money we had to spend to make our families grow. We, lesbian moms, are fascinating and strong, with many stories and journeys behind the creation of our families. All same sex parents I have ever met,because we have to work to create a family, have admirable love and strength at the core of parenting. We don’t necessarily have more, or worse challenges than other parents, but they are unique.

Most days, I don’t feel any different than any other mom. The things I talk about with friends and ask advice about are the same issues all parents have when raising toddlers. On the other hand, we all have days, the frustrating days, where we are faced with the questions that point out the differences in our families.

• “Your husband must have that dark curly hair”- pointing to Blake. Try again. Yes, our donor has dark curly hair. Want to see a picture? Oh, the things I wish I had said.

• “Are you going to tell your children you used donor sperm?” Really? No, they’ll never know, right? We can hide it forever. UGH. Of course we’ll tell them.

I don’t mind at all the personal questions. How did we conceive the boys, who carried them, did we know the donor, etc. Those are things we are proud of, and will talk about on and on, so that our boys, too, will be proud of who they are and the story of our family.

Building a family has been a challenge, and the best decision we have ever made. It makes every day difficult, wonderful, tiring, exciting, defeating, and rewarding.

I bring this blog to you, other parents, or possibly future parents, as a place for love, laughs, and support in parenthood. This is my way of saying, “nice to meet you,” and “I’m glad you’re here.”

Please, take a seat and introduce yourself. Ask me anything. I look forward to what we may learn together.

Shannon lives in Rochester, New York, with her wife, Michelle, and two sons, Blake and Terry. She has been a full-time, stay-at-home mom for the last two years. Shannon and family enjoy traveling, rescuing dogs and cats, and tracking down trains, boats, garbage trucks or whatever the latest toddler fascination may be.

The post They call me ‘mommy’ first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Steph married her wife, Kelly, in Washington, D.C., in 2011. Their union is strong and moving into their newly purchased home is a sign their plans for the future are progressing nicely. At a recent gathering of friends, Steph mentioned her desire to start a family. Someone asked if Kelly would get pregnant. “No, I would,” she replied. Several women looked startled. “Why? Do you think I’m too butch to carry a child?”

Steph’s reply was more snarky than defensive, plus it wasn’t the first time she’d heard a similar remark. Why does her being butch raise eyebrows? After all, there’s nothing unusual about a young woman planning to get pregnant — or is there? Why do we assume a femme would be the first choice to carry a child? And how does one decide what to do when both are women and butch, like this couple, assuming both are healthy and able to carry? These are good questions, and Steph has a few words to share.

She anticipates the response from the hetero community would be to assume a butch woman would not be as interested in bearing children, or that a feminine woman would be more interested; however, wrong those assumptions may be. Some consider Kelly more femme and expect her to take on the feminine role, though Steph sees her as equally butch, if not more so.

“Gender is a social expectation,” she says, which makes the need to counter reactions within the lesbian community that mimic hetero presumptions a little perplexing. She refers to the lesbian community as being inside the same bubble and wonders why this typically empathetic group initially misses the point.

The idea that a femme is going to be the logical choice for insemination is an expectation built around a stereotype. People are not stereotypes. They are individuals and want to be treated as such. At 28, Steph carries a maturity that bodes well for the responsibilities of pregnancy and parenthood. She has confidence in herself, making no apologies for her decisions because they are right for her.

Motherhood was an ideal formed in her mind at age two, before she understood why she liked typical boy stuff or had lesbian yearnings. As people age, they form their personal image and Steph was no different. When she realized lesbianism could be embraced in the way she saw fit, it solidified her sense of self, and subsequently, how she wanted to outwardly present herself to the world, that is, mostly in male-identified clothing.

Now that family planning is on the front burner, Steph says she imagines she’ll continue to wear men’s clothing — only larger sizes, along with black v-neck tees and maybe a novelty item from ThinkGeek.

Comfort and cut are high on the list. Maternity clothes? Forget it! Though she has her preferences, she says clothes don’t define her. She states, “Butches tend to hide their curves and pregnancy is all about curves. I think it’s the opposite (of what people expect to see) that takes people aback.”

Femininity and mothering aren’t about clothes. Decisions about pregnancy, e.g., which woman will carry the child, are between Steph and her wife. Others’ opinions are irrelevant. Like most new moms-to-be, the prospect is both scary and exciting. Steph believes being a nurturing person is part of who she is, just like being a mom someday. When the time comes, she will continue to carve her own image drawing from her inner resources, values, and creativity. For example, as a quilter, don’t be surprised to see her own creation adorning the baby’s crib.

“When you cross that feminine line to butch,” Steph says, “People expect you to be hard. Masculine. It’s not for me to speak about how other butches feel. I’m an all-out butch.”

Knowing who you are and feeling comfortable with yourself are important attributes in personal development and self-esteem, qualities worth passing along to the next generation by example. Steph, you’re going to make a great mom.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post Butch plus butch plus baby makes three first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Academy-award winning actor Jodie Foster, 51, put a ring on it over the weekend, wedding girlfriend Alexandra Hedison.

The couple has been dating over a year.

Foster came out publicly at the Golden Globes last year after decades of speculation over her orientation. Foster has two sons, Charles and Kit, with Cydney Bernard with whom she had a relationship for 20 years. They split in 2008, but continue to co-parent their sons.

Hedison, a photographer and actor who was a regular on “The L Word,” dated comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres for three years. DeGeneres left Hedison for Portia DeRossi in 2004.

Foster’s rep confirmed the weekend nuptials. While not much is known about the couple, who only recently began to appear together publicly, it’s clear from a survey of online photos that the pair shares a love of culottes in various shades of tan. It’s the first marriage for both.

The post Jodie Foster weds Alexandra Hedison first appeared on Lesbian.com.

After a one-year engagement, the 4 Non-Blondes hitmaker Linda Perry, 48, made an honest woman of “Roseanne” and “The Talk” star Sara Gilbert, 39, in a romantic ceremony on Sunday, March 30.

A year ago, Gilbert gushed to her “The Talk” co-hosts about Perry’s romantic picnic proposal. “It’s like the most amazing proposal ever. I’m sitting there listening and I’m kind of daydreaming and I’m thinking like, ‘If I ever proposed to her this would be an amazing way to do it.’ The people picnicking next to us pull out string instruments from under the blanket, walk over and they start playing [The Cure’s] Lovesong.”

In addition to her hit “What’s Going On?,” Perry has penned hits for Pink, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani and others.

Perry and Gilbert started dating in 2011 after Gilbert’s split from TV producer Alison Adler with whom she shares two children, son, Levi, 9, and daughter, Sawyer, 6.

The wedding took place at sunset overlooking the ocean. Celebrities in attendance included Juliette Lewis, Aisha Taylor and Julie Chen. The pair is enjoying a weeklong honeymoon.

The post What’s going on? Linda Perry marries Sara Gilbert first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist is calling allegations of homosexual behavior which surfaced about him on Friday “a bunch of delusional lies.” The accusation, along with additional claims of paid cover-ups and drunken escapades, came to light as part of the investigation of former Republican Party of Florida Chairman Jim Greer who is set to stand trial on July 30. Greer faces criminal charges for allegedly paying himself to raise money for the group, but has continued to maintain that Crist approved the arrangement.

Newly released discovery documents point to allegations that as governor, Crist paid two men to leave the state to hide his homosexuality, attempted to kiss Greer at a hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif., had drunken escapades for which his security detail had to cover up and attempted to run over people while driving a golf cart in an intoxicated condition.

Crist’s attorney, John Morgan, asserts that the allegations are just were just an attempt to embarrass Crist.

Lesbians named yearbook “cutest couple”
The high school senior class at Calaveras High School surprised their local community by awarding the “Cutest Couple” yearbook superlative to a lesbian couple. Destinee Gates and Becca Fernandez have been together since their freshman year and were equally astonished by the honor.

“It’s a big deal because we’re from a really conservative county and it hasn’t happened before,” said Gates, 18.

Principal Ric Stitt said he understands why outsiders might be surprised by the senior vote, but said he’s found the community to be very tolerant.

“Calaveras County and a lot of our rural counties often get stereotyped as being unaccepting,” Stitt said. “And I think that’s a false perception.”

Gates and Fernandez graduated Thursday and both plan to attend Columbia College in Sonora in the fall.

Nike hosts LGBT Sports Summit
Beginning June 14, Nike will play host to 30 leaders who are coming together for the better part of three days to actively advocate for LGBT equality in sports. The Nike LGBT Sports Summit will be held at Nike World Headquarters in Beaverton, Ore.

The attendees of this ground-breaking event will be working to create a team game plan for ending homophobia and transphobia in sport. Summit participants will identify and commit to completing specific action plans toward ending anti-LGBT discrimination in sports. They’ll also forge inter-group relationships to carry out these action plans.

The summit is envisioned as the first of what will become an annual event aimed at affecting sports culture and furthering the acceptance of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals in sports.

The post News: Former Governor Crist addresses homosexuality allegations first appeared on Lesbian.com.