BY KELLY MORRIS

According to a new British survey saying that women are far more adventurous, better informed about sex and less afraid to experiment than men, the number of women having lesbian sex has jumped by 400 percent since 1990.

The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles said that in 1990, four percent of women admitted to same-sex experimentation and just two percent said the experience involved genital contact. Now, 16 percent of British women said they have lesbian sex, and eight percent involved intimate contact.

“Almost all of the ‘straight’ women I know have had lesbian snogs, furtive feels, one-nighters or full-on flings at some point in their lives,” British sexpert Dr. Tracey Cox told the Daily Mail. “It’s becoming so commonplace, it’s got a lot of people horribly confused. Most of the women I know thoroughly (some really thoroughly) enjoyed the experience but have remained straight.”

Read more at TheSeattleLesbian.com

The Seattle Lesbian online magazine reaches more than 188,000 readers per week globally

The post Survey: Number of British women having lesbian sex jumps by 400% first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Can you call yourself a lesbian if you sleep with men?
What about if you won’t kiss them?
What about if you..

Share your thoughts in the comments. Play nice!

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The post Lesbians explain: Doing it with dudes first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Solid red on both hands. Switch.

BY BEVIN BRANLANDINGHAM
QueerFatFemme

One of the things I love to do with my blog is help my dear readers learn how to see Femmes in the wild. I also like to help folks communicate desire. I also hope everyone reading this blog gets as laid as they want to, and if that is very laid it is helpful to know how to communicate desire. There’s this trend happening amongst Femmes that I want to hip y’all to. In order to encourage you to follow it if that is your calling and, more importantly, look out for so you can see what is being subtly communicated to you!

Okay, first of all, let’s review the hanky code for those of you who are living under a gay rock and have not been peeking out from behind it. The hanky code is a way of visually indicating sexual and/or kink desires to other folks without having to introduce yourself. Like, “Hi, I’m Bevin. I like biting.” Way less smooth than just saying, “Hi, I’m Bevin,” while throwing a 2-3 second lingering eye contact the way I try to do when I am being my most Femme predator self. A houndstooth hanky delicately slipped into the back left pocket tells all without having to put words to it, leaving your words to do other things.

Here’s a great synopsis of the very vast hanky code from the awesome blog Flagging Opinicus Rampant. I also highly recommend a read of that blog’s about page for a more feminist read on the hanky code, and I am highlighting this quote from their about page for the good basic reminders of what flagging does and does not do:

Basic Rules of Flagging
Flagging is not consent.
Flagging means being cool with being propositioned, being rejected, and having the capacity to reject.
Flagging is pan gender (you can’t assume someone’s junk from a flag).
There are no anti-flags.
Flagging is slut pride.

Flagging is great because it’s a pro-active “this is what I like.” It keeps things positive. Also, it’s hard to communicate from a hanky that you’re into doing a certain act only under certain circumstances, like I’m houndstooth often but I really have to be super attracted to someone in order to bite. But since biting is only some people’s thing it is nice to know when that compatibility exists.

Me, flagging wild heart: switch (on both hands).

Anyway, onto the trend. Flagging with nailpolish!! Usually an accent finger on the corresponding hand. I love it!

Hankies are a great accessory and the fact that they can communicate desire is wonderful. I know some masculine spectrum folks who flag literally every day.

As a Femme it can be really hard to play the hanky game. I used to use my bra strap sometimes, like tuck a hot pink hanky in the back so it flapped around, letting everyone know I was both into a certain activity and also prepared in case someone needed a hanky.

I gave up flagging on my bra strap or purse strap awhile ago, but I still carry a vintage hanky with me wherever I go because they are endlessly useful. Summertime when you get a little sweaty (I mean “glowing”) after walking somewhere in the humidity. At the beach when I inevitably get sunscreen in my eyes. At the movies when I cry. On the subway when I accidentally listen to the saddest Lucinda Williams song and cry. When a friend tells a story and I cry. When another friend starts crying and I have a way to be chivalrous and nurturing.

As a Femme alternative I’ve seen this awesome accessory floating around, handmade hanky rosettes.

You custom order the rosette and leaf in whatever colors you want to flag with, pin it to your lapel or boot or clip it into your hair on the correct side and voila. Great for dandies and Femmes or Femme Dandies. But it’s twenty bucks and not as endlessly versatile as nail polish.

If you are a nail polish oriented Femme, as I am, it is likely you have a pretty big pile of nail polish in your fleet. Sinful nail polishes are cheap at Target and basically span the rainbow. I also really like Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear (that color is mint green, great on the left for Mommy tops). Also Nail Strips make complicated patterns possible, like houndstooth.

There is a whole Tumblr dedicated to Femme Flagging, with a forum for fleshing out new additions to the hanky code. Lots of folks have been doing one finger on one hand for the flag, but others have been doing two (or three) “fucking fingers” as the flag.

Flagging “glitter fist” which is basically my sexuality in a nutshell.

Cruise that tumblr! You’ll see so many different flags and femmespiration for it. I think the best part of the Femme diaspora is that there are truly millions of ways to do Femme, so because of that, there are infinite creative ways to use nail polish to flag. Also learning how to see Femmes is a practice, get some training in on seeing what Femmes have to communicate in their own words.

Some creative flags:

Daddy top into other POCs.

Kink & Sex Magic.

Extremely filthy thoughts.

I have been a fan of the accent finger for a long time, mostly because I love glitter polish but find the removal a hassle so it’s easier when it’s only on one finger. Thus, I tend to do an accent finger with glitter. But ever since Femme Flagging with nail polish has been trending my flags have been called out multiple places, including instagram and at parties, by other Femmes. It’s always really nice to be seen.

You may be wondering what’s the best way to call someone out on their flag? Here are a few guidelines:

1. Carry a hanky code around so you can decode what it might be. I think there are apps for this. A truly geeky ex-lover of mine had it laminated and gave me a copy. She was geeky in the hottest ways. Being geeky is sexy and it’s nice to say “Are you flagging red on the right?” knowing what the answer to that flag is.

2. Ask the Femme. “Hey. Are you Femme flagging with that manicure? What does that say?”

3. Ask the Femme. “Hey, I haven’t seen that color in awhile, what does that mean?”

Flagging dashed hopes.

4. Don’t yuck someone’s yum. If you determine the answer to not be your thing, it’s cool. Just say, “Wow, that’s interesting/cool/it looks pretty.” And remember, just because someone is flagging it doesn’t mean they’re trying to get it in with you.

5. Be open to conversation. The best part about flagging is the conversation starter it can be. It’s really sexy to be able to flirt through some flags you’re into. “I’m generally into light blue but always into light pink and grey flannel,” is a hot text.

So, anyway, keep your eyes peeled! Get creative! Express your desires!

Originally published by QueerFatFemme.com

Bevin Branlandingham is your femmecee at QueerFatFemme where she chronicles the relentless pursuit of her joy.

The post Femme flagging: Visibility and expressing desire first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Since 2008, Saiya Miller and Liza Bley have held an open call for young people to create comics that address a variety of issues involved with sex education. Their work attempts to challenge hetero and gender normative practices, and addresses topics like body image, safer sex, consent and relationships from positions that have historically been left out of sex education.

Their new book, Not Your Mother’s Meatloaf is a collection of illustrated personal narratives addressing themes like “Firsts,” “Bodies,” “Health,” “Age” and “Endings.” You can learn more about the book here.

Miller and Bley discuss their work at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Saiya Miller and Liza Bley on their illustrated sex-ed narratives first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Zoe Saldana (Photo: Allure)

BY TRISH BENDIX
AfterEllen

“Star Trek Into Darkness” star Zoe Saldana spurred a lot of bizarre articles this week after a tidbit from her “Allure” cover story quoted her saying that she was “androgynous” enough to raise a child with another woman. Clearly androgynous does not always mean something sexual, so it seemed strange to refer to her as bisexual without her having said so. “Allure” released more from the interview. One thing’s for sure: Zoe knows how to stir up some headlines.

Read more at AfterEllen.com

AfterEllen is the pop culture site that plays for your team

The post Zoe Saldana would raise a child with another woman first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Angel Haze

BY GLENNISHA MORGAN
Huffington Post Gay Voices

In 2011, before signing to Universal Republic, beefing with Azealia Banks and gracing BET’s “Behind The Cypher,” Angel Haze chatted with Vibe Vixen. The Detroit native openly discussed her bisexuality. Recently, one fan asked Haze to please “go straight.” She tweeted back “Excume [sic] sir, i like what i like!”

During a time when sexuality is generating a huge and controversial discussion in hip hop, Haze’s unapologetic approach to her sexuality is nothing short of refreshing. Haze recently was the only woman to make XXL Magazine’s popular “Freshman” cover for 2013. She’s currently working on her debut album, “Dirty Gold.”

Read more at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Rapper Angel Haze discusses her bisexuality first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Asexual flag

BY MORGAN WELCH
dot429

Within the LGBT community, the “A” of some of the longer acronyms, LGBTQQ2IA* and QUILTBAG, sometimes stands for “asexual” (for others, it stands for “ally”) but there’s a debate about whether or not asexuality is inherently queer. Sexuality is a spectrum that includes homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality and many other identities, queer or not. Only recently has the internet provided means for enough people who self-identify as asexual to connect to form communities, and like the LGBT community, hope to achieve visibility and find acceptance.

Asexuals are an exception to the “rule,” by definition experiencing very little or no sexual attraction or interest in sex.It should be noted that asexuality is not a description of a behavior or choice, as abstinence is, but a simple lack of sexual desire. While some asexuals are also aromantic—completely uninterested in romantic relationships—others consider themselves homoromantic, biromantic, or heteroromantic and want a life partner for the love and companionship, but not the sex.

Read more at dot429.com

The post Finding asexuality on the queer spectrum first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dr. Glenda Corwin’s new book

BY YANA TALLON-HICKS
Curve

Dr. Glenda Corwin wants you to (consciously) heat up your romance. Dr. Corwin tells us that it’s time to start rethinking the whole subject of what we do together in bed. In her new book, Dr. Corwin, a sexual intimacy psychologist, busts common myths and describes ways to overcome the common hurdles to lasting lesbian loving (hello: body image issues, age, stress!). Dr. Corwin shows us not only how to resuscitate our dying lesbian bed, but also how we can keep it alive and well for years to come.

Too often, Dr. Corwin says, we women complacently sit around waiting for spontaneous desire to strike, when, as women in a same-sex relationship, sexual spontaneity is simply against our nature. She discusses the difference between the “spontaneous desire” model–a male-centric pattern of arousal that puts a certain body part first and the brain second–and the female-centric “responsive desire” model. “We may joke about which part of the body is leading the charge, but in reality, for us, it’s usually the brain,” she writes. We’ve been conditioned to believe that all our sex lives should follow the male-centric pattern of spontaneity to such a point that when it doesn’t happen this way, many of us passively accept it as the inevitable lesbian bed death. Turns out, Pepper Schwartz had it all wrong–our sex lives are not paltrier than those of gay men or heterosexual couples, they simply look different.

The post Rethinking the art of lesbian intimacy first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY JILLIAN EUGENOIS

Jude Schell, best-selling author of a modern lesbian kama sutra is back with another little book of big ideas, “Her Sweet Spot: 101 Sexy Ways to Find and Please it.” The book advertises itself as “a promise of sensorial pleasure” and it doesn’t disappoint. With a full-page photo to go with all 101 sexy ways, think of this handbook as an illustrated map with a side of spicy.

The book offers a little something for everyone. So, if whispering “love” at the sky with the object of your affection might not be your thing, there’s always something else. Schell’s given us beautiful photographs of many different women, diverse in their body types, ethnicities, expressions of femininity and tattoos. But butch girls are disappointingly absent from the photos. There are plenty of images of femmes looking hot together, but you’ll need to go elsewhere if (like we do) you’ve got a sweet spot for butches and bois.

Read more at Curve

The post You want to read lesbian sexpert Jude Schell’s new book first appeared on Lesbian.com.

The simple answer to whether there is a First Amendment right to offer ex-gay therapy should, of course, be no. The long answer is that a California judge is going to put the idea on trial because he believes there may be unintended consequences from California’s ban on ex-gay therapy for under 18′s.

Federal Judge: Banning Ex-Gay Therapy May Violate the 1st Amendment

When earlier this year California passed a ban on exposing minors to ex-gay therapy the law was hailed as a landmark. For the first time in the US a state had made provisions to protect children from efforts to change their sexuality. However, ex-gay therapists soon brought legal suits to try and block the law from coming into effect on January 1, saying that it violates their freedom of speech and the right for parents to decide what is best for their children. Gay rights groups assumed these cases would get thrown out without much trouble. They were wrong.

Read more at Care2.com

Care2 is the largest online community of people passionate about making a difference.

The post Is ex-gay therapy a free speech issue? first appeared on Lesbian.com.