Painting: Healing Energy by Michelle Minero

BY FRANCESCA LEWIS
Lesbian.com

Now that the holidays are over and we’re all full of egg nogg and self-reflection, we turn our thoughts to the coming year. We want to change – to be happier, more productive – but we’re full of self-doubt and have a hard time believing any of these changes are truly possible.

To help kick start the year with a positive, self-compassionate attitude, mother-daughter team Michelle and Emelina Minero run a yearly writing challenge, called the 31 Day Self-Love Writing Challenge. Michelle, a therapist who specializes in eating disorder recovery, and Emelina, a queer writer/editor, created the Love Warrior Community together, an online community that uses creative expression to help people foster self-acceptance, body acceptance, self-awareness, emotional awareness, and self-love. Inspired by this community, and by Michelle’s book Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works, they created the yearly writing challenge. The 31 Day Self-Love Writing Challenge has grown over the past four years, from a small project between mother, daughter and a friend, to a community of over 100 participants.

I asked Emelina to tell me more about the community, the challenge and how it has helped not only the participants, but Emelina herself.

What is the Love Warrior community all about?

The Love Warrior Community is an aggregate of inspiring, empowering, and body positive media that we curate and create and that anyone can contribute to. More than positive content, we encourage people to reflect on their self-love journey and to create or build upon their self-love practice through Self-Love Diet writing prompts and writing templates, like body love letters, body forgiveness letters, and self-love letters. Our motto is, “Love Yourself. Love Your Body. Love the World.” We believe that when you love yourself, you have the power to impact and change the world.

You created this project with your mom – what’s it like working on this with her?

It’s wonderful working with my mom, and it’s wonderful to work on something with her that positively impacts so many people. It’s surreal to realize the impact that you have on the world. We’ve had people tell us that they’ve stopped cutting, that they’ve let go of the shame around their mental diagnoses, that they’ve lessened or stopped their eating disorder behaviors, that their relationship with their partner has become stronger and that they’ve gotten more in touch with their emotions, that they love and accept themselves more.

Self-love resonates with everyone differently. We each have our own unique self-love journey. As a therapist who specializes in eating disorder recovery, my mom’s self-love journey has been tied to body image and the eating disorder recovery community. Mine has been connected to the LGBT community and the larger mental health community.

Tell me a little about the 31 Day Self-Love Writing Challenge and what’s different this year.

Each year, we share a Self-Love Diet writing prompt every day throughout January. People can publish their writing on the Love Warrior Community or share it on the public Facebook event page, which has become this supportive forum throughout the whole month where people share their self-love journey, witness others’, and support each other.

What’s different this year is that instead of a public Facebook event page, we’re creating two private Facebook groups – one for mental health professionals and one for the general public. Last year some people told us that they didn’t feel comfortable sharing their writing on a public space. The groups will continue year-round after the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge with weekly writing prompts.

Also new this year on January 9th, we’ll be hosting a free webinar called “Embodying Gratitude”, where we’ll guide participants through creating a personalized gratitude list, recalling specific memories and experiences that bring them joy and comfort, deepening their awareness of emotions in their body, self-soothing and creating the emotions that they want to feel. The first eight people who join will be able to participate in a live workshop.

On January 23, we’re also hosting an in-person workshop in Oakland, CA at Qulture Collective. It’s tentatively titled, “Go Into the Darkness: An Emotional Exploration” where we’ll explore how to become aware of, feel, express, and learn from the darker emotions, like fear, anger, and depression.

Do you take part in the challenge? What do you get out of it?

I participate in the challenge every year. Over the past 6 years of self-love writing, I’ve let go of my fear around my sexual orientation, and I’ve let go of my shame around my neurodiversities. A really big gift of my Self-Love Diet practice is my relationship with my thoughts and emotions. I have bipolar two disorder and paranoia, and through exploring my relationship with those aspects of myself through a self-love lens, I let go of the fear, the shame, and the struggle. I used to think that those parts of me were a hinderance, but now I view them just like any other part of me, beautiful, and part of my normal. When I do cycle, it can be difficult, but I view each of those experiences as a gift and a learning opportunity to further practice my Self-Love Diet tools, coping skills, and to further explore myself. Every moment in life is an opportunity to offer myself unconditional love.

[This interview has been edited for length]

To find out more about the 31 Day Self-Love Writing challenge, check out the Love Warrior blog: http://www.lovewarriorcommunity.com/31-day-self-love-diet-writing-challenge/

The post Love Warrior Community Expands Their Yearly Self-Love Writing Challenge first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Rainbow cake was sitting on the kitchen table, not Funfetti, but Party Rainbow Chip with matching frosting. Iced on the cake were the words, “I’m gay!” with a smiley face, and bouquets of rainbow balloons were tied to each chair.

I wanted my coming out experience to be a joyful occasion, even humorous. I imagined jumping out of a huge rainbow stripper cake, confetti flying everywhere, my arms raised in the air, gleefully shouting, “I’m gay!”

That was Christmas night eight years ago. I was 19-years-old, home from college for winter break.
This is what actually happened.

My family and I got back home from our annual Christmas night movie, and I went to my room, closed the door, crouched on the floor in the corner by my bed, and cried. I wanted to come out, but I was terrified.

I had made a pact with some of my college friends that we would all come out to our families. Two of my friends came out before I did, and their experiences weren’t ideal, one was actually quiet horrible. I sat on my bedroom floor, calling different friends, trying to get the courage to come out to my family, and going over different ways that I could do it. The rainbow cake was one idea.

As I heard my siblings getting ready to leave to their friends for the night, I knew I had to do it soon while everyone was still home.

I stood up, opened my bedroom door, walked down the hallway into my kitchen (there was no rainbow cake), and I started crying. In between sobs, with my head down, I said, “I’m gay.”

The response that I got from my family was amazing. They threw me a coming out party, and there was a rainbow cake. There were also rainbow balloons, rainbow and lesbian-themed gifts (my grandma Emmy painted me rainbow wine glasses), and even a coming out mixed CD with Dianna Ross’ “I’m Coming Out.”

I knew I was attracted to women when I was 5-years-old. I came out to my best friend when I was 18. I was never not out at college, and I started the coming out process to my huge Mexican-American family at 19 (like 500 plus cousins huge – on one side of the family).

Coming out of the closet was an ongoing experience for me. After college, when my aunts, uncles and cousins asked me what I was doing, almost everything I did was gay. Every time I opened my mouth, I was coming out.

“What have you been up to?”

“I’ve been writing. I started writing for Curve Magazine.

“You write for Curves? The women’s fitness magazine? I love that one!”

“I actually write for Curve. They’re a lesbian magazine.”

Once I turned 24, I stopped coming out of the closet about my sexuality. I didn’t hide my work or the gay things in my life. I just stopped caring about people’s reactions to what I said. I had no more fear about my sexual orientation.

What changed? Five years ago, I made the New Year’s resolution to love myself unconditionally, and I started by writing.

I kept a lot of journals throughout elementary school to early high school, and I was ashamed of them. I wasn’t ashamed because of society’s gendered and childlike take on journaling. I was ashamed because aside from my goals of being a WMBA player, tallying my sports card collections and writing ideas on making money, my pages were filled with my isolation and fear around my sexual orientation. I even wrote in code in case anyone stumbled upon my journals so that they would just think I was lonely, and not that I was attracted to women. I often thought about burning my journals so no one would ever find them.

My shame from 5-years-old to 18-years-old was packaged neatly between the pages of blue sparkling journals, black and white bespeckled composition notebooks, green 70-sheet, wide-rule subject notebooks, and various other journals I received over the years for Christmas and birthdays.

Writing can be scary, especially when you share it, but writing can also be powerful.

I have always been more aware of my self and my surroundings than most people my age, but when it came to journaling about my sexual orientation when I was younger, I had very little self-awareness. At 10, 14, 16 — it was hard for me to take a step back and view my emotions and my experiences from an outside perspective. Instead, I let them swallow me whole.

Isolation, silence and ignoring aspects of my identity — those were my go-to coping mechanisms. I was living in fear, and I was blind to how much support I had.

Self-love writing is different from regularly journaling, and self-love writing is what I have been doing for the past 5 years. It’s different in that it asks you to foster your self-awareness. It’s different in that no self-critical talk is allowed, unless you’re addressing it to confront it, challenge it and change it. It’s different in that it gives you an avenue to explore your emotions and the messages they’re trying to tell you without getting lost in them. Self-Love writing is a tool that I use to explore any aspect of myself that I want to learn more about or that I want to learn to love unconditionally.

Self-love writing is one aspect and one tool of my Self-Love Diet practice, which is cultivating love for myself through exploring my relationship with my spirit, body, thoughts, feelings, relationships, culture and world.
I’m now 27, and I have very little shame about any aspect of my identity. When it comes to self-love writing, I don’t write about my sexual orientation anymore. It’s no longer something that I need to work through.

The biggest thing I struggle with now is living with bipolar disorder and paranoia, but through self-love writing and my Self-Love Diet practice, I’ve even let go of most of the shame and fear with those experiences. Although either are no walk in the park, I now see them as gifts, and I see how working through them I have been able to strengthen my love for myself.

With bipolar disorder, I’ve worked a lot on creating structure and creating a stronger relationship with my emotions. Although certain emotions can be difficult to experience, I see each emotion as a gift with a message to tell me, and I now have the skills to decipher those messages and act accordingly in the most loving way possible in each moment.

Paranoia can be terrifying, and sometimes like a living hell. I struggled a lot to find the positives within paranoia, but about six months ago, I realized the gift in it. Working through it helped me to release my anxiety, to become adept at self-soothing, to confront my fears and to live life with more peace and joy.

Through my Self-Love Diet practice, as well as a support system I’ve created for myself and seeing a psychiatrist, I don’t cycle into either as frequently, and when I do, I know I can handle it.
Through my Self-Love Diet practice, I can honestly say that I love all of myself. Loving myself doesn’t mean that I never have self-doubts, insecurities or negative thoughts, but it does mean that I’m equipped to become aware of them, confront them and try to change them. Loving myself doesn’t mean that life will always be easy, but it does mean that I’ll be able to navigate it in the most loving way. Loving myself doesn’t mean that I will always choose the most loving thing for myself in each moment, but it does mean that I will be kind and patient with myself.

Every January, for the past 5 years, I have recommitted myself to love, and I encouraged myself to do that through co-creating a 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge with my mom, Michelle Minero, a therapist who specializes in eating disorder recovery.

This year marks the 5th Annual 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge. Last year, 100 people participated, submitting over 500 self-love posts, from the US, the UK, Australia and Costa Rica.
I’m inviting you to join us.

We’re born into a society that teaches us that we’re not okay as we are, and not just relating to our sexual orientation. In school, self-love isn’t in the curriculum. It’s not something that’s taught by society. If we feel flawed, we’ll pay money for diets, for clothes, for whatever to fill the void and the feeling that we’re not enough.

Everyone has a self-love journey; you just have to discover it. Once you discover it, you can choose to explore it. I’m inviting you to explore yours.

This January, instead of following a traditional New Year’s resolution, choose to commit yourself to love.

My mom and I will share 31 Self-Love Diet writing prompts, one for each day this January. You can share your writing on the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge Facebook event page. You can write in your own journal. You can also submit your writing to be published on the Love Warrior Community, where we will be publishing each writing prompt. The Love Warrior Community is an online community that we co-founded that uses creative expression to foster healing, self-acceptance, body acceptance and self-love.

Last year, one woman shared her journey of coming out of the closet at 52, with kids, and navigating dating.

Another participant shared, “I have discovered that I have a fear of succeeding, its easier to rationalize not achieving goals when we don’t try, but it’s harder to accept when you work really hard and it doesn’t work out. I want to find a way to get past this. I feel there are a lot of things that I am holding back on but I should be able to accomplish. I’m tired of looking at the ‘what it’s’ and not going for it. I am jumping and I hope I can handle what ever comes.”

Another woman shared, “I am aggressively pro me. I will not limit my options based on my insecurity.”

My New Year’s resolution for 2015 is to recommit myself to loving myself. I’m excited to further explore my self-love journey and to strengthen my Self-Love Diet practice. It may not always be easy, but it’s definitely worthwhile.

I hope you join me.

Join the Facebook event to find out more about the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge or if you’re not on Facebook, you can read more about it on the Love Warrior Community.

Emelina Minero is a self-love enthusiast, passion supporter, mental health and LGBTQ advocate and feminist who does freelance writing, editing, social media and publicity. Follow her on Twitter @CommKr8veWriter.

The post How my new year’s resolution five years ago changed my life first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Katherine Heigl in “Jenny’s Wedding.”
(Photo courtesy of Tiffany Laufer)

BY EMELINA MINERO
Lesbian.com

LOOK FOR “JENNY’S WEDDING” IN THEATERS NOW.

It’s rare that we see a film with lesbian characters in the theaters. The few times we do see a movie with a strong queer character on the big screen, we are moved because the opportunities to see that aspect of ourselves reflected on the big screen, an aspect that society had made taboo, are scarce. We feel empowered, or perhaps scared – maybe a sense of fulfillment and validation, or anger that a movie with a lesbian character making it into the theaters is still a big deal. And it is a big deal.

“Jenny’s Wedding” is a big deal, and not only does the film have a lesbian character, but lesbian leads. Katherine Heigl (“Gray’s Anatomy,” “Knocked Up”) is cast in the title role, and Alexis Bledel (“Gilmore Girls,” “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”) portrays her lesbian fiancé.

Katherine Heigl and Alexis Bledel (Photo courtesy of Tiffany Laufer)

“Jenny’s Wedding” is our exposure. It’s not a campy film. Being gay is a theme in the film, but it’s not the entire story. It’s humanizing – of everyone. It humanizes Jenny, a conventional woman from a conventional small town who is also a lesbian. She doesn’t want to stand out. She just wants to marry the woman she loves, start a family in her hometown and just be another town member among her neighbors.

There are no villains in this film. “Jenny’s Wedding” humanizes Jenny’s family. When Jenny comes out to them, they’re thrown into this new world that they hadn’t any exposure to previously. They’re more conventional than conservative. They’re not change makers. They prefer not to stand out, and Jenny coming out in their small town makes them stand out.

They’re hurt that Jenny had kept a part of herself a secret from them for so long. They struggle, not only with trying to accept this change, but also with how Jenny coming out is making them look at themselves, evaluate themselves and change themselves.

“Jenny’s Wedding” is a story about family, love, personal courage and stretching past one’s personal limits when confronted with something new. This film is a roadmap for families who are struggling with their kids coming out, and it’s a roadmap for families who are struggling to accept anything out of their comfort zone, not just their LGBTQ children.

When we go see “Jenny’s Wedding” in the theaters, it will move us. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry and we’ll be moved by seeing an aspect of ourselves portrayed on the big screen that at one point in our lives we had kept hidden, or perhaps that we still hide.

“Jenny’s Wedding” has a lot of Hollywood support, but it is an independent film. Mary Agnes Donoghue, the writer of “Beaches” and “White Oleander,” wrote, directed and produced “Jenny’s Wedding.” The film is loosely inspired by her niece coming out to her family. Michelle Manning, also the producer of the film, produced “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club,” and worked with Paramount Pictures as senior vice president of production, and later as president of production. Gail Levin, again a producer, was the executive vice president of features casting at Paramount Pictures, and personally casted “Almost Famous,” “Jerry Maguire” and ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.”

The film boasts an incredible ensemble cast as well. Golden Globe and Emmy winner and two-time Oscar nominated Tom Wilkinson plays Jenny’s father, Eddie. Linda Emond (“Across the Universe,” “Julie & Julia”) plays Jenny’s mother, Rose, and Grace Gummer (“Zero Hour,” “The Newsroom”) plays Jenny’s sister, Anne.

The film has been a passion project for everyone involved. Filming has wrapped and the project is now in post-production. It’s a low-budget film and the producers have launched an Indiegogo campaign to help fund the soundtrack, an integral element of any film.

The filmmakers are offering some very enticing campaign incentives: tickets to the Los Angeles and Cleveland screenings of the film; autographs from Katherine Heigl; the wedding dress from the film. Donations are tax-deductible thanks to their partnership with From the Heart Productions and a portion of each donation will be contributed to non-profit PFLAG Cleveland.

“Jenny’s Wedding” is a film that can change lives and through the Indiegogo campaign the community is being offered the opportunity to contribute to that change.

Help the Filmmakers of Jenny’s Wedding from Jenny’s Wedding on Vimeo.

The post ‘Jenny’s Wedding’: A lesbian marriage goes mainstream first appeared on Lesbian.com.

“Muñecas” follows six queer women, Eva, Iciar, Sandra, Patricia, Bea and Makiel, and a gay man, Germ&aacute’n, in group therapy.

The show brings to the forefront what some people may see as taboo: the unspoken subjects of sex, such as penetration and voyeurism. The first episode opens up to a radio show talk host talking about penetration, patriarchy and sexual diversity.

“I penetrate, you penetrate, he penetrates, she penetrates. She penetrates? Yes, ladies and gentlemen. She does, she did and she will.”

It’s a hypersexual show that’s not just about sex because sex sells, like in “The L Word” or “The Real World,” but it uses sex to bring up discussion around the diversity in sexuality, identity and sexual orientation.

In the first episode, two clients blow up in an argument around bisexuality: Does it exist? Why do people have an aversion to bisexuality? If you’re not bisexual, does that make you less open minded?

“Muñecas” is enthralling from the start. My only gripe is the portrayal of the therapist and the group therapy setting. It’s unrealistic. I don’t personally know any therapists who practice Freudian psychoanalysis, so perhaps there is some truth to the group therapy setting, but growing up with a therapist mom, friends and colleagues, I know that what happens on this show wouldn’t happen in real life, and if it did, the therapist would be fired.

That being said, the captivating nature of the show and the smart discussion it brings up outshines its unrealistic backdrop, and it makes it incredibly enjoyable to watch.

Watch episode one:

The post Spanish web series ‘Muñecas’ highlights the taboo first appeared on Lesbian.com.

You may not know this yet: Dating isn’t “As Seen On TV.” It’s not as easy or glamorous — and hopefully not as dysfunctional — as portrayed on “The L Word.”

Most queer women have gone to the internet for dating. It eliminates our most asked questions. Where do you find queer women? How do you know if she’s into women that way? Is she flirting with you or is she just being friendly? Outside of the queer club scene, where can you find your book reading or LARP-lovin’ counterpart?

I googled “top lesbian dating sites” and unfortunately most of what came up were sites originally created for straight people, like Match.com and OkCupid.

There are also queer dating sites like OneGoodLove, which targets the entire queer spectrum. But what if you just want to connect with queer women?

For that, there’s Dattch. It’s an online dating app and community for queer women that I’m now using over OkCupid. Currently, it’s available for iPhone and Andriod in the United Kingdom, San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles and Portland.

What makes Dattch different from dating sites like OkCupid? One, it’s exclusively for women interested in women. You don’t have to deal with guys sending you private messages with pictures of their dicks (It happens).

Two, Dattch is like Instagram, but for dating.

Three, Dattch was created by a lesbian, someone who knows our needs and desires better than a straight person.

Last but not least, Dattch also has a blog that dishes out interesting stories and great dating advice.

Dattch stands out starkly in contrast to other dating apps in that it is mainly photo based. Like Instagram, you can upload photos with blurbs of text, but unlike Instagram, you can also add text to your profile. Your and every woman’s profile is a collage, and aside from photos, you’ll also find checklists and written blurbs prompted by Dattch, like, “I couldn’t live without (blank)” or “What I do during the weekends is (blank)” and “My last vacation was (blank).”

There is less pressure in creating your profile compared to OkCupid because you’re not expected to write out your life story. And the Instagram layout makes interacting with other women more relaxed. Dattch is less pressure, fun and easy.

Just like other dating sites, you can scroll through people’s profiles, send messages, like people’s photos, star people you’re interested in, create a wish list of your favorites, filter your search results and see who has checked out your profile.

Another cool aspect similar to OkCupid is “Would you rather?” Instead of scrolling through profile pictures to see who you want to check out more in-depth, you’re shown two women and you can choose which woman you’d rather go on a date with.

Unlike other dating apps, all of this is free. Also, unlike other dating apps, Dattch’s usability is extremely easy. You don’t have to click on a thousand and one buttons to navigate to your profile, and it’s incredibly simple to find and view other women’s profiles, then organize the women you like onto your wish list so you can connect with them later.

Also, Dattch has a blog. Outside of hosting a lot of giveaways on their blog, which is great, they also have blog posts that will help you be a more successful Dattch dater, like “Dattch’s Top 3 Tips For Online Dating” and “Two Speeches About Confidence You Should Read Today.” Their blog also hosts columns revolving around sex, dating and identity, which reveal the diversity of the human experience, as well as the dating experiences within the Dattch community.

“I Never …” is a column that explores the Dattch communities sexual firsts. It’s a Q&A format that’s split into two sections. In the first section the interviewee talks about what they have never done. For example, “I Never: Used Handcuffs,” or “I Never: Used Lube” and the second part of the Q&A is conducted after they’ve tried it.

Another great column is “I’ve Been Out For X Years And I’ve Learned …” that “sexuality is fluid,” “how important patience is to me” and “honesty is the best policy.” Dattch users submit their coming out experiences and what they have learned after being out for two years to 29 years.

“Learning Lesbian” is another column where Dattch explains terminology and sexual experiences relating to sexuality, like androgyny, asexuality and anal sex.

What’s great about the Dattch blog is that it helps foster a community among the Dattch daters. Other Dattch members aren’t just your potential dates or a piece of ass, like on other dating sites. Dattch’s blog humanizes them and turns their shared experiences into your mentorship. The Dattch blog taps into the wealth of the Dattch community to act as a resource for you.

Dattch is a supportive community, and an easy, low-pressure way to connect with women. Since it’s free, it will cost you nothing to try it. So why not try it?

The post Review: Instagram-like lesbian dating app Dattch first appeared on Lesbian.com.

San Francisco Pride can be overwhelming. It’s the largest Pride in the states, boasting about 500,000 attendees each year. There’s a lot going on in San Francisco during Pride weekend, so we’ll make it easy for you: Eden.

Eden is like a queer female pride within SF Pride, and Thursday, June 26, through Sunday, June 29, marks Eden’s 5th anniversary. You’ll be among 5,000 other queer women during the weekend-long event.

Last year, actress and Grammy-winning singer and rapper Eve performed at Eden. This year boasts more talented performers, as well as celesbians, top notch DJs, go-go dancers and hosts.

Thursday, June 26, at 9pm kicks off Eden weekend at the Supper Club. Lauren Bedford Russell from Showtime’s “The Real L Word” and MTV’s Brittney Duet from “Nick Cannon Presents: Wild N’ Out” will be hosting the fashion show turned DJ dance party. This event will be filmed for an up and coming reality show, and San Francisco native rapper and singer-songwriter Oh Blimey will be performing.

Friday marks the Eden All White Everything party at 9pm at The Factory with three dance rooms, a variety of DJs, go-go dancers, a photo booth and performances by pop-rapper and singer Colette Carr and emcee, poet and songwriter Aima the Dreamer. Jessica Clark of HBO’s “True Blood” and Nicole Conn’s “A Perfect Ending,” along with Ari Fitz of MTV’s “The Real World Ex-Plosion” will be hosting the evening, along with Rose Garcia from “The Real L Word” and Eden’s very own Mona Webb, the executive director of the EDEN LGBTQ Youth Foundation.

Watch Jessica Clark describe the weekend’s debauchery:

On Saturday, Eden is hosting their first ever, and only, Eden 5th Year Anniversary Party at 9pm at the Mezzanine. Clark, Fitz, Garcia and Webb will be hosting again, on top of the great music, go-gos and photo booth, there will also be body painting, a free champagne toast, a $1,000 balloon drop at midnight and Oakland native, neo-soul singer-songwriter Goapele, called the “spiritual love child of Sade and D’Angelo,” by Rolling Stone magazine, will be performing for your pleasure.

Sunday is the final party sendoff at the Parliament. The Eden After Pride Party is the only Oakland-based event (Oakland has the largest number of lesbians per capita in the United States) and will kick off at 7pm. This will be the time for you to woo the women you’ve been eyeing all weekend or to solidify your connections before you head back out into the real world.

You can purchase tickets to individual events, or you can buy passes. The All Access VIP Pass gets you in to all of the events, plus access to the Eden VIP Lounge, exclusive access to the celesbians and recording artists, complimentary hors d’oeuvres, private bar, private waitresses, VIP hosts, exclusive entrance so you don’t have to wait in line and photo ops with the celesbians, musical artists and models. Details.

The post What to expect at Eden’s lesbian SF Pride weekend first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY EMELINA MINERO
Lesbian.com

When out college football player Michael Sam was drafted to the NFL he kissed his boyfriend in joy and the small-minded portion of America were in a frenzy over the televised kiss. What are they supposed to tell their kids who were watching the NFL draft?

Shortly after the negative outcry from conservative America, a fake news article was published about a professional male football player publicly kissing his wife. The article flipped the script and criticized the heterosexual football player for kissing his wife on television, showing how ridiculous people’s responses have been to Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend.

Marriage equality battles have been trending in mainstream media. We have a lot of straight allies supporting us, but it’s not always evident to our straight friends and family how much LGBT people struggle.

“Love Is All You Need?” — a short film that went viral — flips the script on sexual orientation and gender norms. Like the fake news article that highlighted the double standards Michael Sam faced, “Love Is All You Need?” is giving heteronormative culture an image to help them visualize what it is like to live in our shoes.

The viral short is set in a world where same-sex couples are the norm and heterosexuals are dehumanized and villainized. Sexism still exists. Women carry the gender roles that we associate with men, and men carry the gender roles that we associate with women.

“Love Is All You Need?” has resonated with millions. It has over 11 million views on YouTube and over 30 million views on Facebook, has been translated into more than 15 different languages and has been reviewed in over a thousand media outlets from around the world. From this success, the short film is being turned in to a feature film. The filmmakers are using Indiegogo to help raise funds.

The feature film follows three storylines: The story of 11-year-old Ashley Curtis (from the short film) who is kicked off of her school football team when she’s outed as a hetero; the story of college star quarterback, Jude Klein, and budding sports journalist, Ryan Morris, and their clandestine love; and the story of zealot priest, Rachel Duncan, who after finding out about the affair between Jude and Ryan makes it her mission to spread the word of God that all breeders are sinners.

Camilla Belle (“10,000 BC”) plays as the star collegiate quarterback, Jude. With Mary Vernieu as the casting director, this film will likely boast a star-studded ensemble cast. Vernieu has casted over 200 films and is one of the most sought-after casting directors in Hollywood. Vernieu is confident that many A-listers will join the cast and help launch “Love Is All You Need?” into theaters worldwide.

Think of the impact that this film could make if it were released in theaters worldwide. It could help empower our allies to be more boisterous for our cause. It could help change the hearts and minds of those who are on the fence about LGBT people. This film can help open people’s eyes and hearts to the ridiculousness and injustice of the segregation that we create as a society when we hold hate in our hearts and ignorance in our minds.

“Love Is All You Need?” launched their Indiegogo campaign on May 13. It ends July 2. You can contribute anywhere from $5 to $100,000 and in return you can get a download of the film, autographs, lunch with the cast and crew or you can be an extra on the set. This film has the potential to greatly impact the LGBT community, and you can play a part in that.

Check out the IndieGoGo campaign here.

The post Viral short heads for the big screen first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Diedra Meredith, Chairwoman of OUTmusic

BY EMELINA MINERO
Lesbian.com

The LGBT Academy of Recording Arts (LARA) launched a social media awareness campaign, Freedom of Expression = Music Equality (FOE=MEQ). The campaign serves to commemorate LARA’s 25th anniversary, celebrate the 9th production of the OUTmusic Awards and emphasize the importance of supporting LGBT artists.

Not only is LARA hoping to raise awareness about the importance of championing queer musicians and the impact that music created by queer people has on both queer and mainstream culture, they’re also using this campaign to raise $200,000 to fund the upcoming OUTmusic Awards and a documentary about the awards, “For Which WE Stand (One Queer Music Nation in The Visible).”

“This film and the live production of the OUTmusic Awards is integral to the Academy’s mission to document and archive our movement and history,” said Diedra Meredith, Chairwoman of OUTmusic.

“Our goal is to create more opportunities for LGBTQ recording artists and ensure that queer music culture be included as an integral platform in the music industry,” said Meredith.

The documentary will interweave live footage from the OUTmusic Awards as well as interviews with LGBT artists and allies such as Michael Musto, Dolly Parton, Melissa Etheridge, Frenchie Davis, Diana King, Chely Wright and Tona Brown.

LARA is taking on the important task of ensuring that the LGBT community’s contributions to music are recorded. Mainstream media often omits the minority in documenting history and those stories go untold. LARA believes that part of the fight for equality is inclusion in mainstream history, that LGBT voices need to be heard and amplified. LARA’s mission is to highlight LGBT artists who have contributed to the music world and to bolster the voices of those who are currently making contributions. They work to ensure that the stories of LGBT artists are included in the annals music history.

“It is important that OUTmusic Awards be included and celebrated in media, music and entertainment history just as the Latin Grammy Awards, the Country Music Awards and the Black Entertainment Music Awards. The more LGBT people are included, acknowledged and celebrated for their achievements and contributions, the more impact we can make in changing hearts and minds to erase the stigmas,” said Meredith.

LARA is hoping that through FOE=MEQ they will also help highlight the importance that music plays in our self-expression and in impacting our culture.

“It is important that LGBT people express their authentic emotions and images through their music, art, acting, performance art and writing,” said Meredith.

FOE=MEQ is about more than highlighting the importance of freedom of expression. It’s also highlighting LGBT musicians and artists and bringing the LGBT community together over a common goal: freedom and equal representation.

LARA is run completely by passionate volunteers, and all of the money raised in the current campaign will go toward the production of the 9th OUTmusic Awards and “For Which WE Stand (One Queer Music Nation in The Visible).” OUTmusic, Inc., is a nonprofit and donations are tax deductible. LARA is hoping to get 200,000 people to make a $1 donation to reach their $200,000 goal.

As part of their fundraising effort, LARA has partnered with various out and ally artists to help spread the word about FOE=MEQ, including the cast of the web series “Producing Juliet,” film director Sean Robinson, Kristen Henderson of Antigone Rising, Jamaican recording artist Kat C.H.R. and many more.

Each week, LARA will release a new FOE=MEQ photo from their campaign on their Facebook page highlighting a different artist and what freedom of expression means to them. To join the campaign, visit the FOE=MEQ website. Donations to the fundraising campaign can be made here.

The post LGBT Academy of Recording Artists launches photo campaign first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY EMELINA MINERO

AfterEllen’s Managing Editor, Trish Bendix, first realized that she could get paid to write about queer culture when a journalist on an arts and entertainment reporting panel at her college shared how he got his start writing with gay magazines. It was that moment that sparked her journey into queer media with freelancing and starting her own endeavors.

In 2006, discontent with the national print media for queer women, Bendix co-founded now defunct Chill Magazine, a queer print publication focused on the female community in Chicago. In 2007, realizing that the majority of their audience was outside of Chicago and that managing a blog would make their content more accessible, she co-founded Girlfriendisahomo.com, a nationwide news and pop culture site for queer women. Frustrated with the lack of organization in a queer music festival she helped organize with her then girlfriend in 2007, they created their own, Queer Fest Midwest. In 2010, when Bendix realized that SXSW didn’t have an organized space for the queer community, she created their first queer panel. Bendix has an eye for seeing what’s missing in queer representation, and a passion for filling those voids.

Bendix infuses her passion into her work, and she has been outpouring her energy for the queer community into AfterEllen since 2008. We got to chat with Bendix about her take on queer media, its evolution in the past seven years and her upcoming novel.

In a 2007 “Feministing” interview, you talked about how you were looking for yourself reflected in the music you listen to, the films you watch, the art you view and the books you read because like everyone else, you deserve to have a presence in American culture. Seven years later, from the point of view of a consumer and creator of queer media, what changes have you noticed in queer representation?

When I started at AfterEllen, we didn’t have enough lesbian, bisexual or queer portrayals in media or pop culture to write about on the site, so we’d have one big weekly column called Best Lesbian Week Ever, and that’s where most of the tidbits would go. The rest of the site was more open to writing about women we liked or admired, many of whom have played a gay role or are fierce allies, so part of the greater community.

It’s incredible how much that has changed in seven years time. Now there is so much representation for us to comment on or cover that it’s almost impossible to do it all. AfterEllen used to post one big feature a day (an interview, a movie review, an “L Word” recap) and then a few blog posts. Now we are averaging around 12 stories a day with explicitly lesbian or bi themes.

I think what has changed is the amount of truth-telling that we as the LGBT community have done. We have demanded and pushed to be seen and heard, and we are becoming a big enough mouthpiece collectively that our stories are being told, and being told right. It used to be that lesbian characters were small roles and frequently villainous or punished in some way for their deviance — or used for titillation during sweeps week. I think the more queer women are out in the real world, the more we will see ourselves accurately represented as whole human beings in characters on the small and big screens. And with that kind of representation comes the responsibility of educating Americans who might not know a lesbian in real life. One thing I’ve learned during my time at AfterEllen is to never underestimate the power fictional characters can have on real people.

How do you believe the queer community is positioned by the media and pop culture, and how has that evolved over time?

The way we are positioned now is much better than it has been in the past. It’s constantly evolving, but I think the balance that exists now between how much positive news and information is shared about the community vs. negative is so much better. In fact, I would venture to say that the mainstream media and culture (American, specifically) has been much more pro-LGBT. (The “B” and “T” still need more improvement.)

I think a great way of comparing how much things have changed is looking at the number of out people on television daily: Rachel Maddow, Ellen DeGeneres, Anderson Cooper, Don Lemon, Robin Roberts, Sam Champion. It’s only a handful, but these people have power, the kind that we could only dream of back when Ellen first came out and had her show subsequently cancelled.

How does increased mainstream coverage of the LGBT community impact queer media, as well as your role as a queer journalist?

We’re at a really interesting time with queer media because we are no longer the only ones telling our stories. The fact that major internet outlets have their own separate LGBT sections or that “Orange is the New Black” is prominently featured on “EW” or “The Daily Beast” means that some might argue we are not as necessary in 2014 and beyond.

I think what really separates us, though (us being the LGBT media), is that we are speaking to a very specific kind of reader, one who comes to us with an understanding of queer culture and ideas. One who is hoping for an involved discussion on sexuality or facets of it as portrayed in the media or pop culture. Our recaps of a lesbian relationship on a TV show will surely be different from that on a major television site. Our recaps on AfterEllen are one of the biggest draws to readers for that very reason, and the powers that be behind television shows are aware of that.

Every year I go to the Television Critics Association conference in Los Angeles — once in the winter, once in the summer — and I feel half journalist, half lobbyist. While other reporters are there to find out scoops on castings or plot twists, I’m often asking producers, writers or network heads about LGBT visibility, pressing them on what they are doing to make it better. It’s a unique situation to be in there, but I like to think that part of my job is keeping people in tune with what we want, too, and that is fair representation.

Social media has made that kind of connection to writers, producers [and] networks so much easier, and now fans can rally and reach out on their own, but sometimes a face-to-face interaction with someone about their lack of queer characters can be fruitful.

You’re working on a book right now. What is it about and what inspired the story?

I’m working on a novel about two women that end up on a road trip across the country together based on their two different journeys back to where they came from. It’s set in 1993, which was a very scary time for women in the United States, as there were several tragic high profile murders, specifically in the Pacific Northwest where it is partly based.

Much of my inspiration came from my nostalgia for the time period, in which in real life I was a few years too young to participate in the riot grrrl/Lesbian Avengers era, and so I chose to live in it through fiction. Also there aren’t a lot of road trip stories about women, and that was exciting to me, too.

The largest theme I can call out from the book is rebuilding yourself after you feel like your life has been burned down, and how that can happen in the wake of devastation.

What has surprised you the most in the process of working on your book?

I started thinking I was going to write the book from only one woman’s perspective but ended up going back after an early draft and adding a second perspective, so the chapters alternate between the two main characters. And through that I actually found that my second character was much stronger and people that have read pieces of the book thus far actually like her better!

When can we expect your book to release?

I’m still at work on it but hoping to have it completed in the next few months. So I’d venture to say 2015.

What advice do you have for people who want to get involved in creating queer media?

Don’t read the comments. (Seriously though.) Okay but really, make yourself an expert. What I mean by that is, start writing, reporting, doing the things you want to do and prove that you are a valuable voice of the community. Make yourself knowledgeable — read, watch, learn all about our history and representation in the past — and be indispensable. But really, know that you will never, ever, ever please everyone.

The post Trish Bendix discusses queer media, pop culture first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Co-founder and Vice President of Dare2Care, Liz O’Donnell

BY EMELINA MINERO
Lesbian.com

Dare2Care is an Ohio-based non-profit that focuses on youth leadership development, fostering discussion around identity and bringing awareness to LGBT bullying.

On April 25, at their fashion and performing arts gala, 50 Years of Change, they officially launched their anti-bullying PSA. We got to chat with the co-founder and vice president of Dare2Care, Liz O’Donnell, about her work with Dare2Care and what they hope to achieve with their anti-bullying PSA.

What inspired you to co-found Dare2Care?

Most critically, the incidence of LGBT-targeted bullying, which is known to be five to six times greater if students are perceived to be, or are actually, LGBT versus straight, and the attempted and completed suicide rate in our youth. Cleveland in particular had several distressing stories of young people taking their own lives in 2010.

How does Dare2Care impact the student scholars who go through your leadership program? What excitements and concerns do they share with you about the work they do with Dare2Care?

Dare2Care has an enormous impact on our student scholars. First and foremost, we are saying to them, “You count. Your ideas count. Your story counts, and your passion will be supported.” Their participation in the leadership training at the Global Youth Leadership Institute is such a mind expander. Their excitement in learning about the complex and multifaceted aspects of identity is infectious. We wanted to focus on all aspects of identity and give them a language to speak for their generation and to their experience. It has been a joy to watch the changes in them.

The biggest challenge they have shared is in their fear of failing to implement a big idea. We have to continually remind them that we don’t expect big ideas from them. We expect challenging conversations. These are things we all have everyday. We believe it is at this level that we have had an enormous impact.

Our motto is incremental is monumental — you don’t have to make a feature film — just a tiny vignette!

Have you heard from students or LGBT youth who have been personally impacted by Dare2Care’s work?

Absolutely! It began right at our first gala with one of our poetry winners Haley, whose poem “I was Your Daughter” won second place. When I called her to ask if she would be willing to read her poem at the event and to confirm she had parental consent, she told me that her parents had not read her poem. It was a beautiful piece, but I was aware that it might be hard for her to share with them. However, she called me back, told me that she had given it to them to read and that they were both going to accept our invitation to attend with her to receive her award. Her poem began a new and scary conversation with her family. I believe we had an important part in that and this was our mission manifested. Haley read that poem and a year later openly began her transition to Spencer — with full disclosure and a measure of authenticity that I believe would have taken much longer without our support in giving Spencer a voice.

What went on behind-the-scenes in making Dare2Care’s anti-bullying PSA?

What was amazing about making the video was the response to the casting. No one gets paid by Dare2Care, from our performers to our directors. We have no money. We only have passion. Our fabulous director Marcy Ronen put out a casting call and had 80 students respond. Lakewood High School opened their doors to us for filming. We had hair and makeup services donated. We shot for seven hours to get 60 seconds of footage. Every single student under 18 came with a parent or guardian who gave us the freedom to work with their child. How amazing is that? These students shared their personal bullying stories and confirmed for us that we are truly making a difference. They all had something to say. We gave them a forum in which to say it.

What message do you want to get across with Dare2Care’s anti-bullying PSA?

One, what we say to each other matters. Two, words do indeed kill. Not just what we say, but how we say it. Three, daring to care requires courage. Every child is everyone’s child and using ugly words to label another human being is cruel and devastating.

DARE2CARE PSA 2014 from Marcy Ronen on Vimeo.

The post Dare2Care releases new anti-bullying PSA first appeared on Lesbian.com.