Dear Femme, 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and everything is going really well. We moved in together a few months ago and it’s been great to live with my best friend and come home to her everyday. And I do come home to her, I work a little bit later than she does, so by the time i get home, she has dinner waiting for me. And that’s so nice and I’m so lucky. But the problem is that dinner is always terrible. It’s just so bad, I would rather just microwave leftovers or get takeout than eat it. I don’t understand what she does to it. She thinks she’s a really good cook and I don’t want to burst her bubble. 

How can I tell her her cooking is terrible without ruining our relationship? I’m afraid she will be hurt and resent me and I would do anything to avoid hurting her feelings, or putting our relationship in jeopardy. Please help. 

Hungry in Ohio

Dear Hungry,

Of all the problems in the world, this isn’t a bad problem to have. If you and your girlfriend have as strong of a relationship as it sounds, you should be able to talk to her about this. Talking to her about this small problem is really good practice for when you have to talk about the more important problems that will crop up if you end up spending your entire lives together.

Maybe say something like, “I really appreciate it when you make dinner for me, it’s so nice to come home to that after a long day at work. But, sometimes the food you make is too ___” Insert whatever adjective you need too. I kind of want to know how she ruins this food. Is it too salty? Burnt to a crisp? Does she put ketchup on everything?

You could also say something like, “This food needs a little something, I really like kale with garlic not kale with ketchup.” Or whatever it is she’s doing. Eventually she will start taking notice of what you like and don’t like, and incorporating that into the meals she cooks.

If you’re too scared to address the problem directly, there are more subtle steps you can take. You guys can take a cooking class together and maybe she can incorporate some of the lessons learned into her dinner repertoire. You could watch some Food Network shows together and try to recreate the recipes. Or even find some recipes you like and send them over to her to make for dinner. Give her a back rub for being so accommodating to your cravings.

Good luck, Hungry! Let us know how it goes.

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: I love my girlfriend, but I hate her cooking! first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme,

I love my girlfriend more than anything. We’ve been together for two years and long-distance that whole time, but we’re only a day’s drive apart, and we visit each other as often as we can. Last fall she applied for a one-year position abroad and I figured I would move there with her. But she’s just heard that she’s been assigned to work in a remote town rather than the city she thought she would be sent to. The country she’s going to is pretty homophobic and she believes it wouldn’t be safe for us to be there together without the anonymity of a city.

Needless to say, I’m devastated. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through a year without her. It’s already so painful being apart for just a few weeks at a time. The worst part is that she’s so excited about this opportunity, and I feel incredibly guilty that I can’t just be happy for her. How can I learn to cope with this and focus on all the good times we’ll have in the future rather than the terrible time I’m having now?

– Left Behind

Hi Left,

Ahh, what a problem! A year is both a long time and no time at all. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be upset about the prospect of their girlfriend leaving for an entire year, no matter how happy she was about the opportunity. It’s possible to be excited about a great job opportunity but also sad at the prospect of leaving you for so long.

I know you don’t want to dampen your girlfriends spirits and that’s totally a testament to your love for her, but you two have to talk about it. Isn’t she a little sad at the prospect of leaving you for a whole year? She must be, and if she’s not, there might be something deeper in the relationship you need to address. Assuming that she is excited but sad about being apart for a whole year, maybe plan for time when you can go visit her. Surely she gets some holidays off from her position and you two can meet in the nearby city. Seeing each other twice for 5-7 days seems like a reasonable compromise while she’s gone.

Also let her know that you expect some communication from her while she’s gone. You don’t want to ruin her experience abroad by making her sit in front of a screen FaceTiming with you, but she should try to call you and email you when it’s accessible and convenient. And she shouldn’t neglect you while she’s gone. Support is a two way street. You need to make sure you don’t ruin this experience for her but she also can’t leave you high and dry for a year and expect everything to resume the way it has been when she gets back.

Okay, so let’s assume you two have worked out a schedule of visits and communication so you don’t go crazy. I know this sounds nuts, but try to think of this year alone as an opportunity. You love your girlfriend more than anything, you two are probably going to be together for a long time. So use this time to work on yourself. Do things that you haven’t had time to do because you spend time traveling to see your girlfriend. See your friends more! Make new friends! Visit your grandparents, they aren’t going to live forever! Take that language class you always wanted to take. Learn to cook. Write a novel. Binge watch that TV show your girlfriend hates. Or travel abroad to places that are gay friendly. Take a girls trip with your friends. There’s so much to do, so much that can be done in life. Your girlfriend is out there living her dream. What is your dream? Figure it out and live it. The year will go by faster than you know.

Best of luck, sweetie. Let us know how it goes!

Xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: My girlfriend is moving abroad for a year and I’m devastated first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Hello there Femme!

Before tonight I had never heard of lesbian.com but I stumbled upon it after a night out with my girls and I saw your advice column. I really like how honest you are with your readers and I decided after reading like three posts to submit a question.

First of all, I have always identified as heterosexual. I’ve made out with a couple ladies in my teens but never been intimate with another woman. I find women attractive but I never really considered myself a bisexual or lesbian until recently.

I’m at a point now where I feel as though I am bisexual because I seek out lesbian pornography and I am extremely curious about relations with women. Not only that, there was a really hot girl working one of the concession stands tonight at the fair who told me I was “so cute.” I just melted under pressure and said thanks, tipped her and left. I thought about her the rest of the night. I’m comfortable enough to own my sexuality within myself but, I’ve been dating this guy for close to two years and that sort of complicates things.

A part of me thinks I need to tell him because I know that not everyone feels comfortable with dating a bisexual. At the same time, I’m not sure how he’ll react once he finds out and if our relationship will be secure.

I just want to know if it’s the right thing to go ahead and tell him or just keep it to myself.

-To Share or not to Share

Dear Share,

Congratulations on finding yourself! I’m really excited for you to begin this journey. But you know, talk about burying the lede! It sounds like maybe you aren’t very serious about this guy you have been dating for two years, because you don’t call him your boyfriend. Still, two years is a really long time to just date someone casually and you obviously don’t want to lose him. I vote tell him. Tell him because you need to see if he’s is someone worth keeping. I can’t say if your relationship will be secure once you tell him, because I don’t know how he will feel about dating someone who is bisexual. But if you lose him, then good riddance. Biphobia is definitely something you will encounter along your journey, Share. But there are plenty of people who will be totally cool with it and these are the people who are worth your time and affection.

On another note, it’s really unclear to me whether or not you and this guy are monogamous. If you are monogamous, then you probably shouldn’t get numbers from cute concession stand workers. Going out with women when you are in a relationship with a man is only okay if you and that man have discussed this and everyone is fine with that arrangement- including the women you want to date. Communication to all romantic partners is so important when you are dating more than one person. That holds true no matter what your orientation.

Best of luck, Share! Let us know how it goes!

xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about them visit http://www.latewerks.com or purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: Should I tell my boyfriend I’m bisexual? first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Dear Femme,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We moved in together a few months ago and for the most part, things have been fine. My biggest problem is that whenever we have ‘down time’ after school for her (she’s still a student) and after work for me, she just zones out on her phone. Before we lived together she never did that. It’s really annoying. I don’t think she’s cheating on me or whatever. I just don’t like it. I feel like we talked more before we lived together. She will even do it when we go out to eat, which isn’t often because she’s a broke student and I have to support both of us. I feel like she’s ignoring me. Maybe not ignoring me completely, but like, I don’t keep her entertained enough or I’m boring or something. Does this happen to all couples who move in together? What should I do?

Ignored in D.C.

Dear Ignored,

Thanks for writing in! I totally get your frustration. Sometimes I look at groups of people who are all out to dinner and mindlessly scrolling through their phones and I’m like, “Stop! Enjoy each other’s company!” But I am also totally guilty of it too. Sometimes my fiancé and I will both be on our phones while we are out to dinner and become “that couple.” It happens to the best of us.

I think that you should talk to your girlfriend about it. From your letter, you don’t mention talking to her about this at all. Instead you are letting yourself spiral downward when there might not actually be a problem.

When in doubt, talk it out! Tell her that you are starting to feel insecure about yourself because of all the time she spends staring at her phone. Some people have more addictive personalities than others and she might not even realize how many hours she is wasting on it. She might even thank you for pointing it out.

The next thing you should do, after you talk about it, is to ask that date nights be phone free nights. I can sense some resentment on your part about paying for dates that your gf doesn’t seem to appreciate in the way you want her too. You need to nip this in the bud now before it becomes an actual problem in your relationship. Just because you are paying for the date, doesn’t entitle you to anything from her. You chose to merge households and expenses in this relationship knowing your gf was a broke student and that there would be an imbalance in bill paying until she graduates and can contribute more. So leave the issue of who pays for what out of this conversation.

Anywho- back to phone free date night. Not phone free like, leave them at home, that’s not safe or even that practical. I mean, my phone is my mirror and my camera. I can’t have date night without it! Think phone free like, “Let’s enjoy each other’s company and keep our phones in our pockets/bags until we need to take a picture of our food or a selfie to commemorate the evening.”

Good luck, Ignored! I’m sure you and your gf will be back on track in no time!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com

For more illustrations by Lee Ely, visit their Behance page or buy a print from Society 6. The illustration used on this page was based on a photo found on What Japan is Wearing. 

The post Ask the Femme: My girlfriend would rather check her phone than talk to me! first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Dear Femme,

I’ve been single for two years. It seems like every time I start dating someone, things go smoothly for one or two months and then she just disappears! I don’t get it. I don’t have sex with anyone until I think they are really interested (definitely not on the first date!) and everything always seems to be fine until the other person stops returning my calls. I’m not a needy person, I don’t call or text my dates every five minutes but I pay enough attention for them to know I am interested. What am I doing wrong? Thanks for your help!

Two Month Chump

Hi TMC,

Thanks for writing! I’m sorry to hear about your predicament, it’s a pretty tricky situation. I don’t know much about you, but I’m going to try to give you the best advice possible.  There are several different possibilities.

1)      It’s not you, it’s them: What type of women are you choosing to date? What is the common thread? Do you tend to choose women who have just gotten out of long-term relationships? Do you gravitate towards women who aren’t looking for a long term partner? Try to find out on the first or second date if your date is emotionally available or just looking for a good time. Usually you can just trust your instincts on this one. If she starts crying into her ice cream about her ex-girlfriend, she’s probably not ready to date anyone seriously. That’s your cue to cut her out or put her into the friend zone. This is the best way to ensure you don’t get your feelings hurt down the road. You have to look out for those red flags before you invest your heart into someone.

2)     It’s not them, it’s you: What signals do you send to your dates? Are you sending out “let’s just be friends” vibes? Do come across as not wanting to be in a long-term relationship? Are you so concerned with coming across as ‘needy’ that you come across as disinterested? Listen to yourself when you talk, do you talk about your ex too much? Do you talk about traveling the world with no ties or commitments to anyone or anything? These are red flags to girls who are looking to settle down with someone. If a month has passed and the girl is still around, talk about a future that applies to both of you.

3) You haven’t met the right one yet: It sucks, but dating is a numbers game. There’s a chance that the relationships you have had have faded out because she just wasn’t the right one for you. When you meet the right person, things click into place. I know that after being single for awhile, it’s hard to imagine that happening so easily, but when you meet the right person it won’t be this hard.

4) Be yourself, be spontaneous: TMC, it sounds like you have your dating game down to a science. You have rules for yourself about when to text and how often and when to have sex, etc. Is that really you? Be yourself, follow your instincts instead of going by the book. Throw the book away. Do whatever you want and ask your date if she’s in for the ride.

Good luck, TMC and let me know if it works!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com

For more illustration by Lee Ely, visit their Behance page!

The post Ask the Femme: Two Month Chump first appeared on Lesbian.com.

photo credit: via photopin (license)

BY NATASIA LANGFELDER
Lesbian.com

Dear Femme,

First of all I want to say that I’m not a lesbian, I’m Pansexual.I hope you will still answer my question. I’ve been with my husband for over five years now, married for three. We are both in our 30s. I thought that we have always been open and honest with each other. I thought that we had a great sex life. We have toyed with the idea of a threesome with another woman. It never really worked out though. We didn’t find another bisexual girl who we clicked with. I hope that’s enough background for you to understand my problem.

My problem is that my husband has a paid Ashley Madison account. My friend and I were playing around and entering emails of all the men we knew into one of those search engines for it. She put in my husband’s email address and it popped up. I confronted him about it and he said that he was using it to find a third for us. I asked him why he would keep it a secret instead of having us out up a profile together. He didn’t have an answer but he said that he didn’t meet anyone off it and that if someone had messaged him he would have told me. I’m shocked and I don’t know what to do. I thought we were open and honest and he went behind my back!  Right now we pretending it never happened. But I can’t bring myself to be intimate with him. What should I do? I just want my life to go back to normal.

Sad in Seattle

Dear Sis,

Of course I take questions from pansexuals! lesbian.com is inclusive of the entire queer community. Now! Onto your real problems.

I am so so sorry to hear about your husbands actions. For those of you who have been on vacation for the last few weeks, Ashley Madison is a website for married people (mostly men) who are looking to have discreet affairs. The massive leak of Ashley Madison users information was a huge violation of privacy and could change the way we use the internet. I would definitely caution people to avoid using sites that will match email accounts to Ashley Madison accounts to check up on relatives and parents.

Back to Sis- You are allowed to feel confused and hurt and sad and mad. Feel your feelings right now, as deeply as you can. Your life isn’t going to go back to the way it was before your husband violated your trust. However, I do believe that you and your husband can take steps to rebuild your relationship. You can start by accepting the way you feel and embracing it so that you can eventually let it go. Pretending that everything is fine is just going to create an emotional bottleneck that will cause your relationship to implode.

Sit your husband down, tell him that you can’t ignore the problem. Find a queer friendly, sex positive couples therapist in your area. Work together to find the time in your schedules to go and the funds to pay for it. Tell your husband you love him and you need him to be 100% committed to fixing the damage to your relationship- that means being totally honest and transparent with you.

Also, maybe try to take a step back and work through why he signed up for Ashley Madison. Was he feeling insecure in your relationship? Was he feeling out of control at work? While we all have to take responsibility for our actions, we don’t exist in a vacuum and there are so many nuanced reasons for the actions that we take and the roads we pursue in life. As long as your husband works hard to regain your trust, and you keep an open mind, I see no reason why you can’t work through this. However, if your husband keeps his walls up and refuses to see a therapist with you, you need to consider your next steps. Staying with a dishonest partner can wreck havoc on your psyche. Put your happiness first and trust your instincts.

Good luck, Sis! Let us know how it works out.

Xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com

The post Ask the Femme: My Husband has an Ashley Madison Account first appeared on Lesbian.com.

photo credit: IMG_3346 via photopin (license)

Dear Femme,

I want to know what you think about a possessive gay BFF.  I started dating my girl knowing that her BFF basically lived with her.  It’s sort of a weird situation, in that she basically pays for his booze when they go out, and he manages her money- meaning she’ll hand him her $$$ and he’ll dole it out.  Correct me if I’m too traditional, but shouldn’t that be my job?

And ever since we’ve been getting more serious, he’s been less able to spend time with her, no more overnights, and no “platonic sugar mama.”  I’m also very vocal when I think anyone’s taking advantage of her, whether it’s him, her family, or any random stranger.  She says this makes her feel safe, which makes me believe I’m not overstepping my bounds.

However, I do like her BFF, and while I’ve set boundaries where he’s tried to do the same to me, she and him obviously have a different relationship.  What’s the best approach to getting she and I to be where I want us to be without burning bridges with anyone in her life?

-The Girlfriend

Hey TG,

First of all- your girlfriend shouldn’t be giving her money to anyone else to “dole out.” Not you and not her BFF. If she is an adult with a job, then she needs to figure out her finances on her own or with an actual advisor.

As far as her relationship with her BFF changing, that tends to happen once people form serious partnerships. Usually, a couple’s social circle doubles and there just isn’t time for everyone the way there used to be. Also, once you are in a relationship, your significant other starts to occupy the majority of your time and life – which leads to other relationships evolving and changing. It sounds as if this change is already taking place in your girlfriend’s life.

So what should you do? Nothing! Let your girlfriend figure out her friendships and her life. It’s fair to gently point out when people are trying to take advantage of her, but remember not to bully her and definitely don’t alienate her from her friends and family. That is the worst thing you could possibly do. As for her BFF, just be nice to him and include him in the plans you make sometimes. And if he wants to crash on the couch after a night out or after a fun movie night in, don’t kick him out. If your girlfriend loves this guy, then there must be something there for you to love too.

Good Luck TG! Let us know how it goes.

XOXO

The Femme

Got a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com 

The post Ask the Femme: My Girlfriend’s BFF is too Possessive first appeared on Lesbian.com.

In a stunning turn of events, Ann Coulter, the controversial pundit and author revealed that she has been a closeted lesbian throughout her long career. Coulter rose to fame for her criticism of the Clinton administration. She has stayed in the public eye for her public attacks on America’s 9/11 widows, fat shaming Republican Governor Chris Christie, blaming the moral decay of American Society on soccer and, of course, her hatred of both the Jewish and Muslim faiths.

“I’m a hatemonger for a reason. That reason is that I have been desperately unhappy.” The conservative personality announced in a statement released today.

“I would like everyone to know that after a series of events, all of which involved the exchange of monetary goods for sex, I’ve realized am a gay woman. If only I had been able to accept that earlier, the world would have been spared the torment of my illogical vitriolic rants and garbage-spewing books. I am truly sorry. And swipe right on Tinder if you see me, ladies!”

Rush Limbaugh was the first to denounce Coulter, his longtime friend and ally, on his radio show. Directly following Coulter’s statement, Limbaugh announced on-air that he had always sensed something about Coulter was “off.”

“I really never liked that woman, never trusted her.” He blathered, “I’ve always said, you can’t trust a woman who gives terrible blow jobs. Trust me, folks, her’s are the worst.”

MSNBC host, Rachel Maddow, was also asked to comment on the shocking turn of events. “If she’s happy, I’m happy for her. But, you know, I wouldn’t set her up with any of my friends. They all love soccer and don’t believe in racial profiling.”

April Fools! Don’t worry, it’s better if this one plays for the other team.

Natasia Langfelder is just a girl, writing about girls in New York City. Read more of her work at Hot Femme in the City.

The post ‘Yep, I’m gay,’ conservative pundit Ann Coulter comes out first appeared on Lesbian.com.

It’s brutal honesty time, Ask the Femme style. You asked, “do lesbian relationships last?”

Well yes, duh. But let’s get down to the deets. photo credit: Ara Lucia via photo pin cc

Dear Femme,

I’m an Asian lesbian in my 30′s and I’ve been single for almost a year. I can’t seem to find that special woman who I feel physically and emotionally attracted too and who feels the same about me. I was always in a relationship in my 20′s and felt the need to be intimate with someone but in my 30′s. I no longer need to fullfill that sexual need. I also find it harder as I get older to find a partner. I moved to another state for a partner I trusted. But she left me for a man who was her best friend and whom I also believed was my friend. I believe lesbian relationships don’t last and have begun to feel jaded. I don’t like to feel lonely and hate sleeping alone but can’t seem to find a woman that I can feel intimate attracted too and safe with. Please help, thanks.

Azn

Hi Azn,

Thanks for writing in! There is a lot going on here. You’ve had a bad experience and I’m sorry for that. You placed your trust in the wrong person, changed your life for her, she betrayed you and it sucks. But you need to move on.

Being single for a year isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you; it’s not even that long to be single! It seems as though you have already starting thinking about your own needs and what you want from a partner. I’m going to suggest that you continue to learn about yourself and worry less about being single. Put finding love on hold for a little while and go out and have fun.

No matter how cute you are, girls can’t bust into your bedroom and find you. photo credit: Helga Weber via photo pin cc

Don’t stay home and feel sorry for yourself.  Join a gym, take cooking or art classes, drink your coffee at a café instead of at home. While you are out doing things and learning to love your own company, the right woman will come along. But you won’t meet her if you are at home hiding under the covers and crying over someone who didn’t deserve you.

Also, you should keep in mind that just because your former love left you for a man, not all women will do that to you. You can’t judge a whole group of people based on the actions of one person from that group. It’s crazy to say that all lesbian relationships are doomed to failure. The Chick-Fil-A guy didn’t put some crazy curse on us that causes girl on girl relationships to fail…ermm…I hope he didn’t. Either way I’m sure it won’t work. Any who, approaching another girl with the mindset of “she’s going to leave me for a man” is damaging to you and insulting to her. It’s also a huge turn off if she finds out that you think this way. Stereotyping isn’t sexy.

What I’m saying is, people change and there is going to be drama, betrayal, love, affection in any relationship, gay or straight. People of all orientations, genders, races, religions and political affiliations get their hearts broken and if they are lucky, they find their forever love.

XOXO
The Femme

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com or send me a Facebook message!

Natasia Langfelder is just a girl, writing about girls in New York City. Read more of her work at Hot Femme in the City.

The post Ask the Femme: Do Lesbian Relationships Last? first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Hello Femme,

Special K

Special K,
You sound so sweet! Thank you for asking me how I am, I’m very well. I have some bad news for you, I believe you’ve been catfished. For any of my readers who don’t know the term, a catfish is someone who is pretending to be someone else online while attempting to form relationships with others.

MTV has created an entire show about trying to catch “catfish” at the request of the people who have been scammed. Figuring out if you are talking to a catfish or not is pretty simple, do a google image search on your catfish, ask them to take a picture of them holding a paper with your name on it, google the phone number they give you, see if they have pictures with other people on their social media account, see if they have interactions with those people on their FB wall or twitter, etc. Usually when someone is dealing with a catfish, they don’t want to know that the other person is fake, so they ignore the warning signs.

I totally agree with your sister about cutting off contact with Jackie. Jackie is probably a dude and that’s why “she” isn’t going to talk to you on the phone and doesn’t want to meet in person “yet.” I know Jackie hasn’t tried to contact you, but I would suggest blocking her on all social media. The show “Catfish” has shed light on the motivations of the people who enjoy catfishing others. Most of them are sad, lonely, depressed, ashamed of their looks, etc. But a few of them are narcissistic sociopaths and one was even pretty scary, to the point where it seemed like he wanted to assault his former online romance as well as the hosts of the show.

Your encounter with Jackie has left you confused and lonely. That comes across really strongly in your letter. I’m so sorry that you miss her so much. You two were close for four months, so I’m not surprised. I think that you should grieve the loss of this relationship just like you would any other. I definitely recommend grabbing some ice cream and heading over to MTV.com to watch some episodes of “Catfish.” This will help you in a few ways:

1. You will learn are not the only one who has been duped.
2. You will realize don’t want to meet “Jackie” in person, as it will be at best a disappointment and at worst dangerous.
3. You will learn some tools to keep this from happening again.
   

OK, so now we know Jackie is fake. Don’t think of the time you spent talking to her as wasted time. Take this as an opportunity to explore what you’ve learned from this. Ask yourself why you were so willing to spend so much time talking with a stranger online. Is there anything missing in your life now that would prompt that? Are you lonely? Do you need a new BFF or some new friends in your life? Do you want a relationship? A really good way to make new friends and meet potential partners is to take up some new hobbies, hit the gym, read a book in a bar instead of at home, etc. Just get out there into the world, away from your computer screen and see what happens. I’m not saying that people can’t make a strong connection online, but as you found out with Jackie, eventually you need to take things offline for them to work. It will also help you miss Jackie less if you are otherwise occupied.

We also need to talk about the queer fish in the room. If you were attracted to Jackie, you might be bisexual or pansexual or queer. You might be something. Do you want to explore that side of yourself now that it exists? That’s up to you, but you might want to think about that for awhile. Maybe go hang with your sister when she goes to grrl bars or queer events (just don’t cramp her style) or join OK Cupid or Tinder, if you are feeling brave. Go find out if you have chemistry with a woman in person or if Jackie was just a safe outlet for you to explore your girl-on-girl fantasies. Some fantasies are fun to play out and some are meant to just stay in our imagination. You would benefit from figuring out which this is for you.

Good Luck, K!

XOXO
The Femme

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com or send me a Facebook message!

Natasia Langfelder is just a girl, writing about girls in New York City. Read more of her work at Hot Femme in the City.

The post Ask the Femme: Was I catfished? first appeared on Lesbian.com.