The NFL has hired its first full time female official!

Not only “about time,” but a great move. Who better to tell a man when he’s made a mistake than a woman? We do that very well. Gay or straight, we like to do that. And now, Sarah Thomas is getting paid to do it on national television!

Most of the guys in the league are seemingly cool with it (or, at least, publicly, they are). But, why not? It’s every player’s job to hate the refs. Her being a woman doesn’t matter. They’re all blind, right? Refs suck. Period. Boo.

A few players as well as other commentators, bloggers and average run-of-the-mill blowhards are saying that they hired her because of all the domestic abuse scandals last year. But she was in the officiating development program for the last two years — ya know — back when knocking the crap out of your wife in an elevator only rated a two-game suspension, which is not to say the move isn’t somewhat image motivated.

However, I think, like all things NFL, it’s about money. They are trying to get more women watching the game. In fact, more women have started watching and playing fantasy football. They’re selling more women’s jerseys, hats and other paraphernalia. More women are buying the NFL package on TV. All of these things mean more money for the league. And, THAT, is all Roger Godell (league commissioner) and the owners care about.

They talk about concern for player safety, concussions, etc. But, then they schedule Thursday night games. These guys experience the physical equivalent of a severe car crash every week. Three days’ rest is not enough. Now, they’re scheduling games in London (Englad!) — even for West Coast teams. The travel for which totally throws these guys body clocks off. And, their bodies are their instruments. Jet lag throws off my game and I tell jokes for a living. But now, they get an extra night of commercial ad sales and another continent interested in the game. And, all of that means more loot for the league.

But, I don’t want to rain on Sarah’s parade. It’s an awesome achievement and I think it’s fantastic that they hired her. And, you know she’s good or they wouldn’t have. That would have been stupid. She’ll be watched closer than a gang member at Saks Fifth Avenue. In fact, John Harbaugh, Baltimore Raven’s head coach said, “We had her in pre-season last year. She did a good job. She might be one of the better ones we’ve had. So it’s about time.”

Last season, during a Cleveland Browns mini-camp that she worked Thomas said, “I am a female, but I don’t look at myself as just a female. I look at myself as an official.”

And, on a recent “Good Morning America” appearance she said, “Don’t go out to try to prove somebody wrong. Go and do things whether you’re female or male, black or white, do it because you believe in yourself and you know you’re there to do the job.” Amen, sister!

It’s a great lesson for all of us. You may not work in a male-dominated field but, let’s face it ladies, we live in a male-dominated world. And, we have to just keep doing our thing. Put your head down and keep going. Well, not for Sarah, she needs to keep her head up. Eyes on the game and all.

Sarah Thomas is a groundbreaker — or glass-domed-roof breaker. I’m very happy for her and happy that they hired her. Come to think of it, I’m sure no dude is going to want to be the first guy flagged by a chick. So, I’m hoping she does all the Detroit Lions’ games. We had over 30 penalties that would be under her purview last year. See? She’s already instilling discipline. But, rest assured, the first offside she calls on my Lions, I’ll hate her just like the rest of those blind bastards out there. That’s what equality is all about.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

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This is starting to become the never-ending story. I have started to write this about four times now. Every time I do, more disturbing news from the NFL comes out and I have to start all over. But, with all these guys not playing, I might have a spot on an NFL roster soon.

This blog was initially about the Ray Rice situation, then there was outcry about if and when the NFL and its commissioner, Roger Goodell saw a rather disturbing video clip from that same incident.

That led to draft No. 2. Then 911 audio tapes were (re)aired from Carolina Panther’s Greg Hardy hitting his then-girlfriend, a crime for which he was arrested, convicted by a judge and released (and playing) after his request for a jury trial. Draft No. 3.

Then a Minnesota Viking running back, Adrian Peterson was indicted for child abuse for “taking a switch” to the legs and backside of his 4-year-old son. And, in between all this there’s Ray McDonald of the San Francisco 49er’s, who hit his pregnant wife and is still playing because I’m not even sure why.

Please, guys, stop.

I have an article to write. Seriously, it should be simple. Unless you’re facing serious harm, no one should hit another person. Period. That is not complicated at all. But, these situations are. And, maybe, just maybe, some good can come from all of this.

First let’s take Ray and Roger. In case you haven’t heard of this story, a while back Baltimore Raven Ray Rice and his fiancee (now wife) were at a casino. They were drunk, arguing, spitting on one another and, inside the elevator, she lunged toward him and he slugged her, hitting her hard enough to slam her into the side of the elevator causing her to fall, unconscious, to the floor. He awkwardly dragged her out of the elevator and the police were called. He was arrested and sentenced to only a “How to Not Hit Your Wife” class because he was a first time offender and she wanted things dropped. The NFL suspended him for two games as called for by what then served as their domestic abuse policy.

There was some outcry about the short length of his suspension, which was handed out in July. But, what really raised the ire of the average fan was in late August when another player, Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns, was suspended for the entire season for failing his 4th drug test for marijuana. Honestly, I believe the anger was more about the severity of Gordon’s sentence than the leniency of Rice’s. In any case, while many fans and several women’s groups protested, two games was all Rice was going to sit out. Commissioner Goodell did, however, change the domestic abuse policy and increase the suspension to six games. There are 16 games in the regular season, so not even half of them.

That is until the entire video was released by TMZ. Initially, the only video seen was from outside the elevator where Rice was seen trying to drag his unconscious fiancee. When the video from inside the elevator came out, showing Rice’s blow to her face, the proverbial shit hit and fans were outraged. Ray Rice was cut from the team and the NFL suspended him indefinitely. Roger Goodell said he never saw that video. An unnamed source a day or so later said the video from inside the elevator was sent to an NFL employee. A voice recording from a number inside the NFL offices did indicate it was seen and found it “terrible.” When did Goodell see it? Was he lying? Should he be fired?

I think Goodell should go. He should be fired for not taking an appropriate stance against this kind of violence in the first place. It is immaterial if and when he saw the video from inside the elevator. He should not have to SEE it to know what it is. And, neither should we.

To say that it’s different now that we’ve seen that grainy TMZ-watermarked footage is hypocritical. There are too many “Law and Order,” “Criminal Intent” and “It Don’t Get No More Graphic Than This” shows on TV for us to say we only now know what it looks like. What did people think domestic violence is, a “yo mama” joke and a tittie twister? No, it’s what leads to the death of nearly 4,000 women each year. It is violent. Do we need to see it to accept it is a horribly brutal thing?

But, here’s why I think Rice should probably still be allowed to suit up this season. He was arrested for and admitted to domestic abuse and he should be punished accordingly by both the law and the NFL. The law put him in a pretrial intervention program, which, upon completion, will result in the charges being dropped. The league gave him the (inexcusably low) two-game suspension. So, let him serve it or the new six-game policy. To arbitrarily suspend him because his act was seen and the public was upset seems hypocritical? They knew what he did and all the relevant facts when they suspended him-whether or not they saw the video. Make an appropriate policy, do what it states and get him help. If that’s an entire season, then so be it. Use this to call attention to this brutal epidemic. To sever all ties with these men who we pay handsomely for their brutality and not get them help is hypocritical and short-sighted. We have fostered their violence. We praise their toughness. We excuse all of their bad behavior as soon as they start showing athletic prowess in junior high. Now, when we see something they did wrong, we react? I think we, the public, are being insincere. Domestic violence is a learned behavior. It won’t stop by cutting these men and never dealing with them again. Suspend them, make them speak to other men, help them stop the cycle of violence.

Enter Adrian Peterson. He has been indicted for child abuse. He admittedly “took a switch” to his four-year-old son. Disturbing photos show severe lacerations to the boy’s legs and buttocks. Again, uproar.

He was suspended from his team, turned himself in, and admitted he was wrong and that he has now learned in therapy that there are “alternate ways of disciplining a child.” A couple days later, he was reinstated. Many athletes and others have said that “getting a whooping” was how they were disciplined. Charles Barkley, an outspoken former NBA superstar said, “We spank kids in the south. We all grew up in different environments. Every black parent in my neighborhood would be in trouble or jail under these circumstances.” It’s a point many are making. Peterson himself said that the “discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man.”

Where is the line drawn between discipline and abuse? Surely, somewhere between a “time out” and the use of a tree branch. Again, punish by law and league, but use this nationwide attention to move forward.

The NFL has formed a “Domestic Abuse Task Force” with three women serving as advisors. Radisson Hotels have pulled their support from the Minnesota Vikings. Nike has pulled Peterson jerseys. Visa, McDonald’s, Campbell Soup and Anheuser-Busch have told the NFL they’re “disappointed and deeply concerned.” Not exactly pulling their money, but, come on, we’re still watching, they’ll still be selling. But it’s a start. And, it’s what it’s going to take to make a change. Maybe these horrible incidences can raise awareness and lead to real change not only in the NFL but in society in general. This is not just a problem for the NFL. It is often the world of sports that puts issues in the forefront of national consciousness.

Oops, thought I was done. How many times will this piece change? Around 2am Eastern on September 17, Adrian Peterson was placed on the “Exempt-Commissioner’s Permission list” by the Minnesota Vikings. I’ve never even heard of that list, but it means he can’t play. This is coming shortly after the Governor of the State said he should be suspended and the aforementioned businesses spoke up.

Apparently, public pressure can stop even the best of running backs. Later that same day, Greg Hardy was also placed on the exempt list. Neither man can have anything to do with the team, but they will still receive pay. And, hopefully, counseling. AND, Ray Rice is appealing his suspension. The player’s union is taking the angle that Rice cannot be punished twice for the same crime (the point I was making earlier). I suppose it’s kind of ironic, if all these other guys can’t play and the man whose story started all this is back in uniform. That’s it. I’m stopping. This article has become a short novel and I think I have carpel tunnel.

Bottom line: People, don’t hit each other. Get help and stop the cycle of abuse.

In case this tome was not enough: Erin Foley and I talk football (and a little Ray Rice) on her recent podcast episode of “Sports Without Balls.”

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post NFL violence, a never-ending story first appeared on Lesbian.com.

ESPN (rightfully) caught some flack earlier this week when correspondent Josina Anderson filed an on-air report about the locker room showering habits of the NFL’s first openly gay player, Michael Sam.

When asked by an ESPN anchor how Sam was fitting in with the Rams, rather than discuss the rookie hopeful’s on-field performance (he did have two sacks against Cleveland this past weekend) or pranks to which first-year players are typically subjected, Anderson proceeded to ramble on about how Sam appears to be delaying his post-practice showers in deference to his teammates.

Anderson’s report began innocently enough, quoting one Rams’ player as saying that Sam was “just one of the guys.” (So far, so good; right?). Things devolved quickly, though, as she went on to quote another Ram as saying that Sam appeared to be “respecting our space” and “is waiting to kind of take a shower” so as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable. Even putting aside the super unclear “kind of take a shower” phrase (is that like “kind of pregnant”?), this was about the time one started to get the ominous feeling that Anderson wasn’t exactly headed toward Peabody Award territory with her story.

The ESPN anchor back in the studio was either as oblivious as Anderson, stunned by what he was hearing or teetering on the edge of his seat waiting for salacious details regarding hunky athletes in the shower, because he allowed Anderson to continue the demonstration of her journalistic prowess, such that it was.

She went on to share that other Rams players “didn’t know that specifically” because they “weren’t tracking that,” “that,” of course, being when and with whom Sam is showering. (C’mon, guys! How are you gonna whittle the roster down to 53 players if you’re not “tracking that”? Football is a game of statistics! Sure, sacks and tackles are important, but hygiene counts, too, yo. By the way, guys, you may want to check with Sam’s boyfriend; he may have some historical data to fill in the gaps for you on that.)

Anderson continued down the slippery slope (after all, that’s whatcha get when ya drop the soap in the shower), revealing that Kendall Langford (one of the quoted Rams’ players) hadn’t been in the shower at the same time as Sam, though there could be “a million reasons for that” — Sam could be doing extra work on the practice field; he could be riding his bike; or he could be doing extra cardio. (It was unclear at this point if  Anderson was using the phrase “extra cardio” as a euphemism of some sort.)

Near the end of the report, Anderson seemed to remember that she was a professional sports correspondent on live television (perhaps a producer broke out a taser?) as she managed to work in some actual football-related information about Sam, again quoting Langford as saying, “If he doesn’t make our team, I’m pretty sure somebody will definitely pick him up on another team … he’s shown some flashes.”

Blessedly, Anderson didn’t speculate about the nature of the “flashes” and whether or not they took place on the playing field or in the shower, but the damage was done and the story soon exploded on social media. Perhaps Rams’ defensive end Chris Long best summed up the collective opinion about the ESPN report when he tweeted, “Dear ESPN, Everyone but you is over it.”

Alas, ESPN, it’s sad but true that in that moment you became to the St. Louis Rams’ locker room shower dynamics what CNN was to the disappearance of Malyasia Airlines Flight 370. Enough already; Michael Sam is a gay man who takes showers and the plane is still missing. We get it!

Unsurprisingly, and to their credit, given the backlash, ESPN apologized for the report issuing a statement on Wednesday which read: “ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports.”

Really, ESPN? A report based on outdated stereotypes and which proliferated anti-gay paranoia failed to meet your standards regarding LGBT-related topics in sports? Way to set that bar high!

As offensive as it may be, all the hoopla about with whom Michael Sam is or isn’t showering did serve one positive purpose. It made me very happy that I’m a lesbian rather than a gay man. Because despite the relatively recent coming out stories in women’s sports, not once have I heard speculation about Britney Griner’s or Abby Wambach’s shower schedules or conjecture regarding the timing thereof. Nor have I heard pre-draft commentators ponder how an openly lesbian athlete would be received by her teammates in the locker room. And I don’t recall Twitter exploding with hate at any point when two women kissed on live television during a celebratory moment.

They say it’s good to be a girl and that seems to be very true when it comes to gays and lesbians in sports, not that lesbian athletes haven’t faced their share of discrimination or persecution. But we women-loving-women seem to have a leg up in these matters as while the general public — and specifically the largely male-dominated sports-loving public —  seems to find the idea of a gay man in the locker room shower distasteful or dangerous in some way, the idea of a shower full of lesbians is every guy’s fantasy. There’s a down side to that, of course — I could dedicate countless columns to the objectification of women and the male lesbian fantasy vs. lesbian reality — but all things being equal I’ll take being idealized and fantasized about over being demonized any day.

Watch the controversial ESPN report below.

The post How Michael Sam makes me grateful to be a lesbian first appeared on Lesbian.com.

So, by now, even non-football fans know who Michael Sam is. He’s the the first openly gay player drafted into the NFL. He was the guy who was shown kissing his boyfriend when he found out he was going to play professional football. He was the guy chosen 249th overall who has gotten more press than almost all of the preceding 248 picks. Yeah, that guy.

Well, the homophobes have responded. In addition to all the predictable right-wing blathering, a Miami Dolphin player (Don Jones) tweeted “Horrible” in response to the kiss. He was fined, suspended and ordered to undergo sensitivity training. After eight days of said training he was reinstated. Wow, cured in eight days. It must have worked though because he apologized, admitted his behavior was unacceptable and offered to perform eight hours of community service fellatio at Miami’s next pride event.

A Dallas daytime talk show host stormed off the set after a discussion of the kiss seen round the world. Ironically, her big beef was that it was all for publicity. Hence, I will not be using her name. (But, for a visual, think Elisabeth Hasseltwit with a slight southern accent.) I’m not sure if she received sensitivity training or not. Between all the “Bless your hearts” and “I do declares,” it would be hard to tell down there anyway.

Donald Trump said it was “too much.” Holy comb-over Batman, if Donald Trump finds something excessive.

But what about us? Sure, the homophobes get their training to be able to see two men kissing without becoming excited but we will need to learn how to deal with the fourth grade humor that surely awaits us when the 2014 NFL season kicks off. You know what I’m talking about, the juvenile jokes, maybe not necessarily mean, but wherein we are the punch line. After all, the man’s job will be to “blow by” a “tight end” and “sack” the quarterback all while playing for the Rams. Thank God he didn’t go to the Packers. Did you chuckle just now? You won’t after the seven millionth time you hear it.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I will need training to not slap people. Sophomoric jokes annoy me anyway. When my people are the butt of those jokes, it could get ugly. So, I am getting ready by creating my own sensitivity program. And, if you think you might need help too, welcome to Samophobia Sensitivity Training.

The fundamental basis of this training is getting the offender to recognize that his or her casual remarks are actually hurtful and could offend us. So, for example, when Michael Sam blasts through the line and tackles the quarterback with a few of his teammates and the guy in the seat next to you yells out a remark about Sam liking it on the bottom of the pile, simply point out that not all gay men are bottoms. Say: “Think of the logistics, Silly.” Then go into lengthy and graphic detail about the myriad of ways gay men have sex. The offender’s subsequent erection will be so pronounced he will have to excuse himself from the seat and you won’t have to hear anymore from him. It might not cure him, but does get rid of him in the moment so you can enjoy the game.

Should Michael miss a tackle and the lady in the seat next to you chides him to go cry in his boyfriend’s arms, simply point out to her that a man in touch with his feelings enough to not be afraid to cry is quite psychologically advanced. And, that you understand how she wouldn’t know since she’s not been with a man since 1974.

When you’re out in a bar and some guy boasts how, were he on the Rams team, he’d shower at home after practice. Tell him that you don’t blame him and you understand how difficult it must be to go through life with an excruciatingly small penis.

As you can see, empathy is the key here. Kindly, gently and lovingly showing others how hurtful words and tiresome jokes can feel. And, if it doesn’t seem to work, push them over the railing at the stadium.

Remember that this is a new program and, as with all new models there may need to be adjustments. But, we need to start somewhere. I will keep you posted if and when the curriculum changes.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post A guide to dealing with Michael Samaphobia first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Michael Sam at the 2014 NFL combine

BY CANDY PARKER
Lesbian.com

After months of speculation, the question as to whether or not the NFL is ready for an openly gay player has been answered — Michael Sam has been drafted into the NFL.

Sam made headlines in early February when he came out during interviews with ESPN and The New York Times. By selecting the SEC Defensive Player of the Year as the 249th pick in the 2014 draft, the St. Louis Rams make Sam the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL.

As the draft entered its final (7th) round Saturday afternoon, anticipation regarding Sam’s future heightened. By all accounts, the former Missouri Tiger defensive end was expected to make it into an NFL training camp, though those in the know debated whether that would be as a late round draft pick or as an undrafted free agent after Sam’s mediocre performance at the NFL combine.

Sam’s size, strength and speed were all in question, though analysts now say that Sam’s aggressive style of play makes him a great choice for the defensive-minded Rams. Sam could be a perfect fit in the creative blitzing schemes of Rams defensive coordinator Greg Williams.

OTA off-season workouts get underway for the Rams on June 3. That’s when the next question in this historic saga will begin to be answered — is Michael Sam ready for the NFL?

The post Sam selected in final round of NFL draft first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Michael Sam at the NFL Combine (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

BY CHRIS GREENBERG
Huffington Post Gay Voices

Michael Sam, a first-team All-American defensive lineman out of Missouri, dropped a “Back to the Future” reference on Tuesday when responding to a Republican lobbyist who wants him barred from the NFL. The 24-year-old college football standout recently announced that he is gay and is aiming to become the first out player in the NFL.

Lobbyists? Where Michael Sam is going he doesn’t need the permission of any lobbyists.

Read more at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Michael Sam responds to lobbyist who wants to ban gay NFL players first appeared on Lesbian.com.

CNN reports that former Missouri Tigers defensive end and 2014 NFL draft entrant Michael Sam revealed today that he is gay. The announcement came during interviews with ESPN and The New York Times.

The All-American is expected to be taken as a high-round draft pick in May and would be the first openly gay player ever drafted into the league.

The timing of Sam’s announcement sets him up for additional scrutiny at the NFL combine, set to begin Feb. 19 in Indianapolis, should he elect to attend.

One NFL general manager told Bleacher Report that Sam, 6’2″ and 255 pounds, will be a true test of whether or not the NFL is actually open to all kinds of players. He believes that if Sam falls past the third round, then “something stinks. Because this guy is easily a high-rounder.”

The NFL released a statement to Bleacher Report saying: “We admire Michael Sam’s honesty and courage. Michael is a football player. Any player with ability and determination can succeed in the NFL. We look forward to welcoming and supporting Michael Sam in 2014.”

A Bleacher Report story says that when asked how he thought his future NFL teammates would feel, Sam said, “It shouldn’t matter.”

“I’m not afraid of who I am.”

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The Minnesota Vikings issued a statement on Thursday denying the allegation by former punter Chris Kluwe that he had been cut for his advocacy of same-sex marriage. The brief press release came hours after Deadspin published a first-person article by Kluwe titled “I Was An NFL Player Until I Was Fired By Two Cowards And A Bigot.” In his scathing piece, Kluwe, the Vikings’ punter from 2005 to 2012, wrote that he was “pretty confident” he was released in May 2013 due to his activism.

“Any notion that Chris was released from our football team due to his stance on marriage equality is entirely inaccurate and inconsistent with team policy,” the statement from Vikings PR responded. “Chris was released strictly based on his football performance.”

Read more at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Vikings deny Kluwe allegation first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Some of the players from the 1993 Houston Oilers football team were reportedly gay, according to several players who were once on the team. Although everyone on the team knew about the gay players, most of them thought it was no big deal and didn’t care.

Many remember the Oilers as the team that infamously lost a playoff game to the Buffalo Bills after leading 28-3 at halftime. It is also remembered as being one of the most “inclusive families” in sports.

Read more at dot429.com

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Bleacher Report’s Mike Freeman, a veteran National Football League reporter, reported Wednesday that over the summer, at least one NFL player was close to coming out as gay. The player, according to Freeman’s report, was a free agent, but he was negotiating a contract with a team that knew he was preparing to come out. Another gay player was close to signing at the same time. The second player’s team also knew he was gay and didn’t care. When it asked current players, they said it would be no problem. That deal fell apart too, when the player, who Freeman describes as a “high-profile defensive back,” requested too much money.

More interesting, though, is why the deal with the first player never happened. All of this was happening around the time that the NBA’s Jason Collins came out as gay in April, a major media story in a sports world still looking for its first openly gay player in one of the four major American sports leagues. It turned into a media storm, and that, according to Freeman, scared the NFL team away.

Read more at ThinkProgress.org

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