Special Unrated Directors Cut!

“Shows admirable restraint and taste in dealing with the amorous relationships — except for a scene that explodes into a fairly explicit orgy of lesbian sex.” — Deseret News

A true lesbian classic! In this provocative and sexy romantic comedy, a wonderfully eclectic group of women who went to college together reunite when two of them have a Jewish naming ceremony for their newborn baby. Quick-witted repartee reveals with irony, humor and a touch of nostalgia for the ’70s how all of their lives, their politics and their loves have changed. This smart, sassy ensemble comedy from talented lesbian director Sharon Pollack co-stars the fabulous Dreya Weber (A Marine Story, The Gymnast) and features a terrific performance from the legendary Harvey Fierstein (Torch Song Trilogy) as the mohel who performs the baby’s circumcision.

Katie (Stacey Nelkin) and Victoria (Monica Bell) are a married lesbian couple who invite five women friends for the bris of their new son. Their lesbian friends Josie (Ellen McLaughlin), Maria (Olivia Negron), Luce (Drea Weber) and Gina (Gabriella Messina) arrive along with lone straight woman Sarah (Carol Schneider), who is longing for a child of her own — though she and her husband have been unable to conceive. Josie and Maria used to be lovers (though Maria dabbled with heterosexuality and now has two children), Gina is a singer and former hooker; while charismatic Luce, an alcoholic stuntwoman, still mourns the long ago drunk-driving death of her partner.

Official Selection: Sundance Film Festival

“Romance permeates Everything Relative — who slept with whom, who’s going to sleep with whom — but the real theme is family and the challenge lesbians face in redefining the concept. The actresses… are frisky, attractive and undeniably likable. They look great.” — San Francisco Chronicle

“It’s nice to see a lesbian film in which there isn’t one overarching definition of what a lesbian looks like or does for a living… And like The Big Chill, half of the the friends have slept with each other at some point in the last twenty years, and of course, by the end of the weekend, there will be lots more of that.” — AfterEllen.com

“Standout performances.” — The New York Times

The post Everything Relative first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Julia also produces her own comedy show, KILLER UNICORNS that is a nationally recognized show. It was JUST written up in VULTURE and has been running for three consecutive years now.

1. Do you have any phobias? (please enumerate with embarrassing details)
Fear of heights (i was dropped on my head by the cheerleaders on my squad).

2. What song can you not get enough of right now?
Not Ready to Make Nice: by The Dixie Chicks

3. Which celebrity would render you totally star struck if you were to meet him/her?
Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig

4. What would be your best piece of relationship advice?
SLOW down! it doesn’t work until you’re ready.

5. If you could wake up tomorrow with one talent or skill you don’t presently have, what would you want that to be?
A skill I want would be able to read better. I have a reading comprehension disorder and I get sad that reading can be so challenging at times.

The post Fast 5 with comedian Julia Pels first appeared on Lesbian.com.

What would be your best piece of relationship advice?
My two favorite sentiments expressed about love are, “Love is the condition when someone else’s happiness is more important than your own.” And “In a good relationship, both people should feel like they got the better deal.” Those are my litmus tests for whether I’m with the right person. Luckily, I feel both are true for me and my partner.

If you could wake up tomorrow with one talent or skill you don’t presently have, what would you want that to be?
I’ve always wanted to finish my studies in French which I, regrettably, abandoned in college. This way, if comedy doesn’t work out in the states, I could move to France and become the lesbian Jerry Lewis.

Do you have any phobias? (please enumerate with embarrassing details)
The woman I’m dating was straight up until she met me. So, I’m a bit phobic about our strap-on. I want her to like it, but I don’t want her to like it TOO much. One time we were using it and she was getting really into it; Her dirty talk got so graphic that it actually made me paranoid. I stopped abruptly and was like, “You DO realize this isn’t a real penis right?!” After that, I couldn’t continue because I totally lost my erection.

Name five people, living or dead, who you would love to have at a dinner party.
That would have to be an eclectic group of my all-time favorite powerhouse female performers: Doris Day, Judy Garland, Sandra Bernhard, Emma Thompson, and my longtime teacher and mentor, Broadway legend Betty Buckley. The most important question is, what would I wear?!? I would need to find the right look that said, “I’m obsessed with you, but not a stalker.”

Jessica Inserra is an LA-based stand-up comedian whose irreverent humor explores, among other things, themes from her life as a gay woman growing up in a colorful New York Italian family. Jessica recently commemorated 25 years of being out, having burst through the closet doors at the tender age of 14. Now she can be seen performing her unique brand of brash, edgy comedy at The Comedy Store, as well as other venues in and around Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Seattle. Originally from New York City, Jessica is a classically trained actress and singer who began her creative education as a child in Manhattan’s Neighborhood Playhouse School of Theatre. She went on to attended Laguardia High School for Performing Arts, and continued her training at prestigious arts institutions such as Stella Adler, T. Schreiber Studio, and The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London. She is currently working on her own one hour stand-up special entitled, Jessica Inserra, Pretty Gay.

Jessica will be appearing live at The World Famous Comedy Store this coming Friday, March 8th at 7PM. For more information on Jessica’s future performances, follow her on Instagram @jessinserra

The post Fast 5 with comedian Jessica Inserra first appeared on Lesbian.com.

You know Weinstien and Spacey, and Louis and Tambor,
Lauer and Charlie, and Franken and Roy Moore
But do you recall,
The most harmful predator of all?

Donald the groping gasbag
Had some really tiny hands,
For those that had to feel them,
Jail should be the place he’d land.

All of the media perverts
Had to quit and lost careers;
Meanwhile, the sleaze ball Donald
Screws us like a racketeer.

Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Mueller came to say:
“Donald all your lies and fraud
Make your case severely flawed.”
Then all his buddies made deals,
They began to cop a plea,
Donald the gas bag groper
Enjoy the penitentiary.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians.

The post A new take on ‘Rudolph:’ Donald the groping gasbag first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Happy New Year! My editor asked me to do a “2016 Year in Review” piece. It sounded like a good idea. So, I sat down at my computer. Then, when I finished crying, I’d summed it up thusly: A crazy number of amazing people died, we elected an idiot and the Lions lost the division — again. OK, new idea. How about a “Year in Preview?” Better, but maybe too scary.

I’ve heard a lot of people say they’re really worried about what’s next. Are you afraid of this New Year? Does any day after January 19 scare you? Fear not, my friends. Here are a few simple solutions to ease your trepidation.

Solution No. 1: Become a bigot
The bigots are in fine form and feelin’ swell. I believe “swell” was the correct superlative when it was last OK to say the things they’re saying now. The prejudiced have been persecuted, man! They’ve had to suffer. They’ve had to bottle up all those comments that political correctness wouldn’t allow since the 90s. Oh, sure, deep down they knew the correctness wasn’t just political or they wouldn’t have stifled it. But, now, oh boy now! Now, they can say what they really think. Just like the next President! They are in heaven. They have found their joy. Why not join that? Who says ignorance is bliss?

P.S. You will be hearing a lot of “blissful” talk in the immediate future. From surprising people you never thought were blissful. I am sorry, for all of us. But listen to it (not to all of it) and remember who said what.

Solution No. 2: Become a Russian
OK, so bigotry is not for you? Well then, here’s Solution No. 2 for your New Year’s worries: Get Russian citizenship. The accent is not that hard and you’ll seem like you’ve got connections. Change your name to Vlad and score lots of sweet financial deals. Besides, hockey is fun to watch, vodka is delicious, and I’m sure you’ll still be able to vote here.

P.S. You might want to be careful about what you put in your email correspondence.

Solution No. 3: Drugs
The 3rd Solution is in no way an endorsement. I do not suggest you attempt Solution No. 3. I am merely pointing out that it exists. There, am I clear? Okay, solution No. 3: drugs. Lots of ‘em. Chased with hard liquor (again, joke, not real suggestion). However, the DC Cannabis Coalition really is handing out free joints on inauguration day. Seriously, this is not a joke. They are handing out free 4,200 joints. And they intend for those joints to be lit at 4 minutes and 20 seconds into Trump’s speech as a protest to get cannabis legalized at the federal level. Probably the only way the rest of that Inaugural address will make any sense.

P.S. If you’re at the inauguration, don’t really light that joint at 4:20 into his speech. It’s still illegal to smoke it on public property. And, Jeff Sessions will be there to personally arrest you. If you’re at home watching, fire up!

Solution No. 4: Pray (mostly for Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s health)
Finally, if bigoted Russian stoners aren’t enough to assuage your fears, well there’s always Solution No. 4: prayer. I don’t necessarily mean that in a religious context. But, if praying to one Virgin or 73 works for you, go for it. Can’t hurt. Personally, I send my prayers out to the universe, to that energetic source that has no stake in our game and makes no judgments. It just is. And like any force, the more mass that goes into it, the stronger it becomes. I honestly believe it helps.

And, my “prayers” right now are focused on one thing: the health and stamina of Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Seriously. I keep saying that at my shows lately and people always laugh — good for my line of work but, in this case, I’m serious. This election’s bottom line for both sides was the Supreme Court. Think about that tonight before you go to sleep and send out good thoughts for the notorious RBG. And, again, I’m serious.

P.S. You may have weird dreams about people in funny robes chasing you yelling “overruled” and trying to make you do jury duty.

I was at a party on election night. Well, it started as a party and ended up more like a wake. There was a lovely lesbian couple there with a beautiful brand new baby. As those final results came in, I leaned in close and said to the baby, “I’m so sorry we just ruined your future.” We laughed (well, the kid didn’t). Then the baby’s mother said to me, “God, I hope they don’t take him away now.” And this was in Los Angeles. I can’t even imagine the fears some people in some parts of the country are experiencing now.

So now, more than ever, if you can speak up against injustice, do so. And do it loudly. Those Neandertrumps out there will be emboldened. They’ll be spewing all sorts of hate in the name of freedom and the new, “good ole American way.” And, they’ll have that same “look at my big balls” strut that my cat gets when he knocks something over to get attention (I like to call it his “Phantom Ball Walk”). Unfortunately, we can’t just lock those ball-less bigots in the spare room. We gotta keep an eye on ‘em. We have to hold them accountable for their words and actions.

Pay attention. Speak up against injustice. And, speak loudly. Many voices will be scared into silence, speak up for them if you can. Shout out for them. Scream so the whole country can hear. At least, over here on the West Coast we have the jet stream to carry the voices. Those on the East Coast will really have to yell. But we can do it. Look at the cacophony one blustery New Yorker has created.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians.

The post 2017: Four ways to survive the year ahead first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Friday, February 26, is National “Tell a Fairy Tale Day.” So, in honor of this most revered of holidays, here it is, a fairy tale just for you — and a cautionary tale if ever there were one.

An Elephant Feary Tale

There once was a land of great beauty and plenty. It was filled with every flora and fauna. All things of both thought and deed were possible. The people of the land, having left tyranny and persecution in their former hamlets, created a new system in this new land. They made new rules and gave themselves new freedoms. No longer would they be told how to think or feel. Now, they decided things amongst themselves freely and fairly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, they raped and pillaged the original inhabitants who cherished and protected this beautiful expanse. And, yeah, they stole this land and cheated and slaughtered its people, but this is a fairy tale, sometimes ya gotta leave out actual details. And, don’t worry, I’ll get back to them.

The people worked together in their towns and villages. They learned together too and great achievements were made. Every son and daughter strived to learn more and accomplish more than their parents did. Everyone prospered. Little houses were built on little prairies. Soon, this land became known by all the world as the BEST land – a land of the free, a land of the brave.

As time went on, the villagers no longer cared as much about discovering new things. They ate fatted calves, drank much ale and created fast food and corn syrup. They no longer paid attention to their great land. They no longer strived to learn and excel with gusto. The wealth and riches, once available to anyone willing to toil, were soon gobbled up by a few shady characters like a tiny forest squirrel gathering nuts for the winter.

But the villagers paid no heed. They ate from the apple of this land, not realizing, its soil had become tainted. A great sleepy condition did overtake the citizenry such that, while harmful edicts, misdeeds and skullduggery transpired, the people shared pictures of their lunch.

Then along came a parade of elephants. Wise elephants, who saw the sleepy people and knew what to do. “We shall use fear,” said the elephants. “We will win control over the kingdom. These sleepy sheep shall beg for our protection and do our bidding like a reed bows to a great wind(bag),” the giants proclaimed. “We shall first tell them, that certain unions of peoples shall destroy the land and bring about the wrath of God and the ruination of their own unions -and they shall listen.” And, they did. “Then we shall tell a tale so tall, so filled with deadly imagery and lies that they cannot but choose to let us lead them still.” And, they did.

The villagers far and near were fearful – as the elephants had hoped. But, as time went on, they became angry. The townsfolk became weary of the elephant and looked instead to the donkey. A new donkey, one filled with hope and change, not like the other asses. And the donkey spent 7 years picking up pachyderm poop while the still sleepy people paid only as much attention as could be focused in 15 seconds or less.

When the time came to choose their next leader, another parade of elephants stomped forward armed, as always, with their portent of panic. But there came an even larger harbinger of doom. One created from their own message of dismay and intimidation. One who saw what the old elephants did and amplified it with his own giant trunk of terror. This goliath, who was really both an elephant and a giant ass, had a hide of orange and wild tuft of fur upon his head so distracting it brought forth gales of laughter from all who saw it. But, laughter could not stop this elephant. He ignored it and only Trumpeted louder.

Even the other elephants became scared. Many in the parade ran away. He even scared away one with royal lineage – one so certain he was the right choice he had added an exclamation mark to his name!

“How can this be?” wondered the others. “This unruly ungulate has used our own tricks against us! He must be stopped!” But there was no stopping this monster. He took the fears and insecurities that had been planted in the masses by his predecessors and watered them like a nefarious, gardening gargoyle.

Are you scared yet? You should be. For I have no end to this tale. Not yet anyway. It might end up as horrific as your own imagination can conjure. But you can do something. You have a magic wand. You can stop this bellicose buffoon. Or, you can dodge the donkey. However you’d like to see this tale end, you need only wave your magic wand. You can take back this land from the fear mongering blowhards. Just pull that magic wand in the little booth this November.

Oh, and of those original inhabitants? Their spirits continue to haunt. In fact, if you go out to the woods and listen (hurry, they may be gone soon) you will hear them laughing at us, “Hey ‘Americans’ you might wanna pay attention – while you weren’t lookin’ Monsanto f*cked up all your maize.”

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians.

The post An elephant feary tale for the ages first appeared on Lesbian.com.

I had an interesting experience at my show last weekend. I come out every show. I think it’s extremely important. It may seem passé as more and more places are moving toward equality and/or providing more protections for the LGBT community. But, let’s face it; there are still a lot of places where it’s not cool to be openly gay. In some places, it’s even dangerous. So, I feel that if I can make a room full of people laugh; make them like me; make them see I’m just like them (minus the homophobia part); it might just make a difference. So I come out on stage every time, well, almost every time.

I made an exception when I performed for the US Military in Iraq and Afghanistan (among other bases) in the 2000s. I went several times. They were the most rewarding and exciting shows I’ve ever done. (Except that one that you saw – that was my favorite.) We signed contracts with clauses that indicated we were to perform relatively clean material and not be political or controversial. So I didn’t do any “gay” material at all for those shows. I didn’t change pronouns; I just didn’t say anything about relationships at all.

Occasionally, in the course of talking to the crowd, I outed myself in answering a Soldier’s playful salvo from the crowd with, “You got a sister?” And I wore more rainbow stuff than a newly out divorcee and a 5 year old kid combined. I remember distinctly a female soldier in Iraq saying to me, “I like your bracelet.” It was one of those little rubber rainbow ones you get at pride. So those two things made me feel a little less guilty – “Hey, it was in my contract. I’m normally Super Queer but, what could I do?” Was that a rationalization? Yes, probably, but I did continue to get military gigs and, thus, I became an overseas asexual. I’m sure there’s a dating app for that.

That brings me to this past weekend. I was working at a Marie Calendar’s Restaurant – don’t laugh, they’ve been doing comedy every Friday and Saturday in this little pie shop for over 18 years and it’s actually quite a good little room. It seats about 75 – 90 people; it pays okay; it’s only 35 miles outside of LA and you get a pie. How can you beat that? I was filling in for a last minute cancelation and was “featuring.” In the comedy world that’s the middle act: there’s an MC, then a feature act, then the headliner and I was the feature. A short, cushy 30 minute set where the crowd is warmed up and the pressure’s more on the last guy. And, you get a pie.

On Friday night, there was a non-profit women’s group and their husbands in attendance and I would guess the average age was about 50-something. They made up about 85% of the crowd. Any comic reading this is cringing. Big parties can sometimes be a pain in …well, you know where. The only thing worse is a bachelorette party. (And, to whatever company makes those penis straws, please stop.) But, these guys were fun. Really fun. They were there to have a good time and they did. There was a woman in the front row – I can’t remember now why, but I dubbed her “Bong Hit Betty.” She was in her 70’s and I have no idea what her real name was but, for the whole show – even for the headliner – she was Betty. By the end of the night, even her friends were saying, “Bye, Betty.” It was fun. And, did I mention the pie?

And here’s where the guilt sets in – no, not about the pie, about my set. I was having such a good time playing with Betty and her pals in the group; I was shocked when I got the light. That’s your 2 minute warning. A small stage light or flashlight or some signal that you only have 2 minutes left. And, unlike football, it really means 2 minutes. I wasn’t anywhere near done. I had only gotten to about half of what I was going to say. And, I hadn’t yet “come out.”

So, what to do? Do I stop what I was talking about and cram in something about my girlfriend? Or just blurt out, “Two guys walk into a bar – not me I’m gay.” It would have felt forced. Where I was in the set was a perfect place to wrap up. Performance-wise, I shouldn’t switch gears at the point. So I didn’t. Alas, even the pie didn’t assuage the guilt.

Why? I just gave you perfectly legitimate reasons for not coming out in that show. It was, professionally speaking, probably the better choice. It made more sense in the context of my set and made for a great finish. And I could have lived with that were it the only reason. But, I have to admit. Deep down –okay not even that deep – there was a part of me that, when that light went on and I had to make that choice, just didn’t want to. I had a feeling that I would have dropped down a notch or two in their opinion of me as a comic and person and, at that point, I was on quite a roll.

Honestly, they would have liked me just fine. They already did. Betty and I even smoked a joint afterward (I’m kidding – she did, I had to drive). Seriously, it most likely wouldn’t have affected anything. Hell, they might even have queer grandkids and bought my DVD for them. But in that moment, I just didn’t have the energy or guts or desire to do what I feel is the right thing because I didn’t want this room full of strangers who really liked me, to look at me differently. I’m not usually like that. As I said, I come out all the time. It never feels like an effort. It was just something about that night, that crowd, whatever. I don’t really know why.

Stand Up is funny. It is quite an intoxicating feeling to make a room full of people laugh and I’ve been doing it for long time now. There’s nothing like it. But, it’s not about us, the performers. We have a wonderful opportunity to say something. Technically, our job is to make you laugh and, if we do that with fart jokes or existential brilliance it doesn’t matter to those laughing. The audience just wants to laugh. But, in this game of comedy, I feel like I cheated. The ref didn’t make the interference call and I won. So, I guess I’m throwing a flag on myself – fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Perhaps, I should have started this, “Dear Diary,” or “Bless me readers for I have sinned.” But I shall finish it with this: I did come out on Saturday night. I had the MC bring me onstage with this intro: “Your feature act is a big old queer who’s done gay cruises and pride shows. She’s taking donations for Pflag after the show and she’s a lesbian. Please, welcome the very gay, Jennie McNulty.” Okay, no I didn’t really use that as an intro. But I did do my gay material. And, they liked me just fine, a lot in fact. And I got another pie. This time it wasn’t humble.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post To come out or not to come out: Is there pie? first appeared on Lesbian.com.

What the heck are we going to do? After the recent tragedy in Paris, all I can say is I’m a bit scared. Not so much at what terrorists will do next, but at the fact that no one really seems to have the answer and, worse yet, we don’t really seem to be trying to find it.

Oh, we’re yappin’ about it. We’re putting the lovely blue, white and red stripes on our Facebook profiles. We cry. We pray. We are truly saddened by this, but what actions are we taking?

Then again, what actions can we take? I’ve heard some people say the only answer is to just “bomb the whole region?” It wouldn’t work and, it’s slightly uncool, wouldn’t ya say? These terrorist cells are everywhere and gaining members. This was PARIS for goodness sake! We can’t bomb Paris. Although, Jeb Bush says the answer is to send more ground troops to Iraq. (Ya know Barb and George the first, couldn’t you have just passed down a gene for left-handedness or being colorblind or anything else besides Iraq-invading?)

Even the Dalai Lama says, “It’s a problem created by humans and we can’t call on God to solve it.” And, if even HE says “prayers to God” isn’t a solution?

Apparently, taking my shoes off at the airport helps, but I sure don’t feel safer. Honestly, does that really make you feel safe? In fact, if you count the worry about viral and bacterial spread from people’s funky feet, technically, I feel less safe. Then there’s “If you see something, say something.” But, again, be honest, how many of us look any farther than our phones or iPads in an airport. The last flight I took, in the gate waiting area, a woman had left her phone plugged in next to her backpack and left to go to the restroom. An elderly gentleman was all over it. Constantly looking at it, talking to his unconcerned wife about it, looking around some more, then he finally went to the gate agent to report it. The suspect came back, unplugged her stuff and sat down and, the first thing he did was plug in HIS phone. Concerned citizen? Nope, dude outta juice.

The attacks on 9-11 took a level of innocence away from this country and the world. But, clearly, our response then did not change things much. So what do we do now?

Maybe there is nothing else we can do. Although, love is a good answer. It’s what the Dalai Lama suggested and love conquers hate, right? That’s what all our HRC T-shirts say. So, we spread love. How? Another good question. A Muslim man in France blindfolded himself and stood in Republic Square with his arms open and a sign below him that read: “I trust you. Do you trust me? If yes, hug me.”

I feel that there is other intelligent life out there in the universe besides us. And, I’m starting to think that either being taught peace by them or us uniting against them (most likely earth’s first reaction) may be the only way we come together on this planet.

So, I guess we go on with life. Try to act with love. Either that or wait for aliens and hug a Muslim. Hey, maybe we can make up bumper stickers that say, “Want World Peace? Hug a Muslim” Now, there’s a good ole American plan: when in doubt, capitalize on it.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post Paris, platitudes and prayers first appeared on Lesbian.com.

The NFL has hired its first full time female official!

Not only “about time,” but a great move. Who better to tell a man when he’s made a mistake than a woman? We do that very well. Gay or straight, we like to do that. And now, Sarah Thomas is getting paid to do it on national television!

Most of the guys in the league are seemingly cool with it (or, at least, publicly, they are). But, why not? It’s every player’s job to hate the refs. Her being a woman doesn’t matter. They’re all blind, right? Refs suck. Period. Boo.

A few players as well as other commentators, bloggers and average run-of-the-mill blowhards are saying that they hired her because of all the domestic abuse scandals last year. But she was in the officiating development program for the last two years — ya know — back when knocking the crap out of your wife in an elevator only rated a two-game suspension, which is not to say the move isn’t somewhat image motivated.

However, I think, like all things NFL, it’s about money. They are trying to get more women watching the game. In fact, more women have started watching and playing fantasy football. They’re selling more women’s jerseys, hats and other paraphernalia. More women are buying the NFL package on TV. All of these things mean more money for the league. And, THAT, is all Roger Godell (league commissioner) and the owners care about.

They talk about concern for player safety, concussions, etc. But, then they schedule Thursday night games. These guys experience the physical equivalent of a severe car crash every week. Three days’ rest is not enough. Now, they’re scheduling games in London (Englad!) — even for West Coast teams. The travel for which totally throws these guys body clocks off. And, their bodies are their instruments. Jet lag throws off my game and I tell jokes for a living. But now, they get an extra night of commercial ad sales and another continent interested in the game. And, all of that means more loot for the league.

But, I don’t want to rain on Sarah’s parade. It’s an awesome achievement and I think it’s fantastic that they hired her. And, you know she’s good or they wouldn’t have. That would have been stupid. She’ll be watched closer than a gang member at Saks Fifth Avenue. In fact, John Harbaugh, Baltimore Raven’s head coach said, “We had her in pre-season last year. She did a good job. She might be one of the better ones we’ve had. So it’s about time.”

Last season, during a Cleveland Browns mini-camp that she worked Thomas said, “I am a female, but I don’t look at myself as just a female. I look at myself as an official.”

And, on a recent “Good Morning America” appearance she said, “Don’t go out to try to prove somebody wrong. Go and do things whether you’re female or male, black or white, do it because you believe in yourself and you know you’re there to do the job.” Amen, sister!

It’s a great lesson for all of us. You may not work in a male-dominated field but, let’s face it ladies, we live in a male-dominated world. And, we have to just keep doing our thing. Put your head down and keep going. Well, not for Sarah, she needs to keep her head up. Eyes on the game and all.

Sarah Thomas is a groundbreaker — or glass-domed-roof breaker. I’m very happy for her and happy that they hired her. Come to think of it, I’m sure no dude is going to want to be the first guy flagged by a chick. So, I’m hoping she does all the Detroit Lions’ games. We had over 30 penalties that would be under her purview last year. See? She’s already instilling discipline. But, rest assured, the first offside she calls on my Lions, I’ll hate her just like the rest of those blind bastards out there. That’s what equality is all about.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post NFL names first female official first appeared on Lesbian.com.

The recent signing of The Religious Freedom Restoration Act, by Indiana Governor Mike Pence, is causing quite a stir. I’m not a political expert but, as far as I can tell, the law’s alleged intent was to keep people from having to receive rainbow colored communion wafers. Nobody wants a rainbow colored body of Christ. They’re supposed to be white — just like Jesus.

OK, actually, this is serious. Indiana’s new law allows people and public businesses to use the excuse that their religious beliefs have been “substantially burdened” by dealing with us heathen gays. So, they don’t have to. And, should they be sued, this law “restores their religious freedom.” Love the sinner, just don’t do business with them.

The governor, the lawmakers who drafted Indiana’s version of this bill and other Fox News-watching folk, all claim that this Act does not sanction discrimination. But, if Bubba, from Bubba’s Wedding Blossoms, doesn’t want to do the flowers at a gay wedding, he can use this new law to say no. And, technically, businesses can now put up a “No Gays Alowed” sign (I’m assuming they’d spell it wrong) to keep us out of their establishments. They’ll not have us substantially burdening their creed. Who knew we were so heavy?

In fact, one Indiana pizzeria, “Memories Pizza” has already said that, should gay couples want them to make pizzas for their homo nuptials, they would not. Because, it’s what Jesus wouldn’t do. Well, that is a blow. I guess poor Bruce and Michael will have to settle for caviar and champagne. A gay wedding without pizza? That’s like a think tank without a Kardashian in it.

The Federal Religious Freedom act (and those of most of the other states that also have this law), contains language that does not allow it being used to discriminate. Indiana’s does not. Indiana does have laws to protect against discrimination, but sexual orientation is not one of those classes protected.

So, how can this happen at a time when gay marriage is becoming legal all over the country and the LGBT community is seemingly making great strides toward equality?

It’s because of that really. This is a political tantrum. “Fine! Some of you are allowed to marry now — then we’re gonna do this! We’ll show our constituents we’re the same bigoted folks they elected.”

Fortunately, many of our allies as well as huge corporations have stepped up and spoken out. Indiana is being ridiculed on the late night shows. The CEO of Apple, Tim Cook (who is gay), wrote an opinion piece in The Washington Post, harshly criticizing the bill.

Marc Benioff the CEO of Salesforce (the largest tech employer in the state) cancelled all events planned in Indiana and told employees they would not be asked to travel there. The proposed $40 million expansion of the “Angie’s List” headquarters has been put on hold indefinitely. (And, hopefully, the governor’s office was given an “F” on their site.) My personal favorite response, although it may not pack the political punch of a tech company not bringing a $9 million convention to the state, came from Stephen King who tweeted: “Indiana’s Freedom Restoration Act is gay discrimination, pure and simple. You can frost a dog turd. But, it’s still a dog turd.”

Frosted feces aside, it’s great to see this support and the speed with which it came. But, it’s really a wake-up call for us. We need to remain diligent and aware in our path to equality. Those that hate us will use any tactic they can think of to keep us from getting the rights to which we are entitled. And, if they can throw God into it, that’s even better. It’s not hate if it’s done in the name of God.
So, should we get the federal right to marry this summer, remember: it’s not over ‘til the fat lady sings a Melissa Etheridge tune in a rainbow dress at a gay wedding in Indiana catered by Memories Pizza. Wait, check that. Let’s nix the pizza and go with the caviar and champagne. And, we’ll let Bruce and Michael plan it. I mean, seriously, who does weddings better than gays? Well, maybe Jesus. That “water into wine” trick makes him the ultimate wedding planner.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

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