ESPN (rightfully) caught some flack earlier this week when correspondent Josina Anderson filed an on-air report about the locker room showering habits of the NFL’s first openly gay player, Michael Sam.

When asked by an ESPN anchor how Sam was fitting in with the Rams, rather than discuss the rookie hopeful’s on-field performance (he did have two sacks against Cleveland this past weekend) or pranks to which first-year players are typically subjected, Anderson proceeded to ramble on about how Sam appears to be delaying his post-practice showers in deference to his teammates.

Anderson’s report began innocently enough, quoting one Rams’ player as saying that Sam was “just one of the guys.” (So far, so good; right?). Things devolved quickly, though, as she went on to quote another Ram as saying that Sam appeared to be “respecting our space” and “is waiting to kind of take a shower” so as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable. Even putting aside the super unclear “kind of take a shower” phrase (is that like “kind of pregnant”?), this was about the time one started to get the ominous feeling that Anderson wasn’t exactly headed toward Peabody Award territory with her story.

The ESPN anchor back in the studio was either as oblivious as Anderson, stunned by what he was hearing or teetering on the edge of his seat waiting for salacious details regarding hunky athletes in the shower, because he allowed Anderson to continue the demonstration of her journalistic prowess, such that it was.

She went on to share that other Rams players “didn’t know that specifically” because they “weren’t tracking that,” “that,” of course, being when and with whom Sam is showering. (C’mon, guys! How are you gonna whittle the roster down to 53 players if you’re not “tracking that”? Football is a game of statistics! Sure, sacks and tackles are important, but hygiene counts, too, yo. By the way, guys, you may want to check with Sam’s boyfriend; he may have some historical data to fill in the gaps for you on that.)

Anderson continued down the slippery slope (after all, that’s whatcha get when ya drop the soap in the shower), revealing that Kendall Langford (one of the quoted Rams’ players) hadn’t been in the shower at the same time as Sam, though there could be “a million reasons for that” — Sam could be doing extra work on the practice field; he could be riding his bike; or he could be doing extra cardio. (It was unclear at this point if  Anderson was using the phrase “extra cardio” as a euphemism of some sort.)

Near the end of the report, Anderson seemed to remember that she was a professional sports correspondent on live television (perhaps a producer broke out a taser?) as she managed to work in some actual football-related information about Sam, again quoting Langford as saying, “If he doesn’t make our team, I’m pretty sure somebody will definitely pick him up on another team … he’s shown some flashes.”

Blessedly, Anderson didn’t speculate about the nature of the “flashes” and whether or not they took place on the playing field or in the shower, but the damage was done and the story soon exploded on social media. Perhaps Rams’ defensive end Chris Long best summed up the collective opinion about the ESPN report when he tweeted, “Dear ESPN, Everyone but you is over it.”

Alas, ESPN, it’s sad but true that in that moment you became to the St. Louis Rams’ locker room shower dynamics what CNN was to the disappearance of Malyasia Airlines Flight 370. Enough already; Michael Sam is a gay man who takes showers and the plane is still missing. We get it!

Unsurprisingly, and to their credit, given the backlash, ESPN apologized for the report issuing a statement on Wednesday which read: “ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports.”

Really, ESPN? A report based on outdated stereotypes and which proliferated anti-gay paranoia failed to meet your standards regarding LGBT-related topics in sports? Way to set that bar high!

As offensive as it may be, all the hoopla about with whom Michael Sam is or isn’t showering did serve one positive purpose. It made me very happy that I’m a lesbian rather than a gay man. Because despite the relatively recent coming out stories in women’s sports, not once have I heard speculation about Britney Griner’s or Abby Wambach’s shower schedules or conjecture regarding the timing thereof. Nor have I heard pre-draft commentators ponder how an openly lesbian athlete would be received by her teammates in the locker room. And I don’t recall Twitter exploding with hate at any point when two women kissed on live television during a celebratory moment.

They say it’s good to be a girl and that seems to be very true when it comes to gays and lesbians in sports, not that lesbian athletes haven’t faced their share of discrimination or persecution. But we women-loving-women seem to have a leg up in these matters as while the general public — and specifically the largely male-dominated sports-loving public —  seems to find the idea of a gay man in the locker room shower distasteful or dangerous in some way, the idea of a shower full of lesbians is every guy’s fantasy. There’s a down side to that, of course — I could dedicate countless columns to the objectification of women and the male lesbian fantasy vs. lesbian reality — but all things being equal I’ll take being idealized and fantasized about over being demonized any day.

Watch the controversial ESPN report below.

The post How Michael Sam makes me grateful to be a lesbian first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY CANDY PARKER

What did you miss this week in the world of LGBT news? Check out our Lesbian.com round-up and you’ll be ready to gather ’round the rainbow-colored water cooler to talk about five of the biggest, best and most interesting stories for June 8-14.

Clinton spars with NPR host

The internet was abuzz after former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s appearance on NPR Thursday during which “Fresh Air” host Terry Gross either badgered or persistently questioned (depending on your personal view of the exchange) regarding her evolving stance on marriage equality.

Gross appeared to imply that Clinton’s current support for same-sex marriage was a matter of political expediency. During Clinton’s 2008 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008, she endorsed domestic partnerships, but stated her opposition for same-sex marriage. In March 2013, Clinton issued a statement announcing, “I support marriage for lesbian and gay couples. I support it personally and as a matter of policy and law.”

Listen to Clinton’s exchange with Gross below and let us know what you think — was Clinton being dodgy or was Gross’ question asked and answered? Weigh in below in the “Leave a reply” block.

Vocativ lists 35 most LGBT-friendly cities

On Wednesday, global media giant Vocativ published its first Queer Index, ranking the most livable cities American cities for LGBT people.

Utilizing information obtained from open databases, public sites and social networks, including Craigslist, Facebook, Yelp, Rentboy, the U.S. census and the FBI crimes database, Vocativ determined which cities were the best places for LGBT people to live, work and socialize.

Perhaps surprisingly, San Francisco did not top the list of LGBT-friendly places, instead placing third behind New York City (No. 2) and Los Angeles (No.1).

To see how your city fared in Vocativ’s analysis, visit the Queer Index.

Michael Sam signs with St. Louis Rams

Last month, the St. Louis Rams made history when they selected Michael Sam in the NFL draft. Thursday, the team advanced that history a bit further as Sam inked a four-year, $2.65 million deal, making the former Missouri standout and SEC Co-Defensive Player of the Year the first openly gay player to be hired into a one of the four major professional sports leagues.

The deal guarantees Sam, 24, a minimum of $46,000.

After the announcement, the clearly elated Sam tweeted, “Grateful, humbled, and motivated after officially signing with all my Rams rookie brothers. Let’s do this!! #RamUp”

Anti-gay foreign minister named president of U.N. General Assembly

On Wednesday, Ugandan foreign minister Sam Kutesa was unanimously elected president of the U.N. General Assembly, sparking criticism from LGBT rights activists and their allies.

Kutesa supports Uganda’s controversial Anti-Homosexual Bill which criminalizes homosexuality and imposes a life sentence upon anyone found guilty of repeated same-sex sexual acts. The AP reported that the foreign minister has also faced corruption and bribery allegations.

The AP said that the position is “largely ceremonial but prestigious” and critics voiced concern that by bestowing the honor on Kutesa, and, by extension, Uganda, the U.N. was sending the wrong message regarding the country’s anit-gay legislation.

Same-sex marriages halted in Wisconsin

On Friday, U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb put at least a temporary halt to same-sex marriages in Wisconsin — just one week after she struck down the state’s ban.

It was clear from the judge’s remarks that she felt constrained by the Supreme Court: “”After seeing the expressions of joy on the faces of so many newly wedded couples featured in media reports, I find it difficult to impose a stay on the event that is responsible for eliciting that emotion, even if the stay is only temporary. Same-sex couples have waited many years to receive equal treatment under the law, so it is understandable that they do not want to wait any longer,” wrote Crabb in her decision, adding, “A federal district court is required to follow the guidance provided by the Supreme Court. Because I see no way to distinguish this case from Herbert, I conclude that I must stay any injunctive relief pending appeal.”

Herbert is a Supreme Court case in which same-sex marriages in Utah were put on hold.

The post LGBT week in review: Clinton spars, Sam signs, Wisconsin marriages stop first appeared on Lesbian.com.

So, by now, even non-football fans know who Michael Sam is. He’s the the first openly gay player drafted into the NFL. He was the guy who was shown kissing his boyfriend when he found out he was going to play professional football. He was the guy chosen 249th overall who has gotten more press than almost all of the preceding 248 picks. Yeah, that guy.

Well, the homophobes have responded. In addition to all the predictable right-wing blathering, a Miami Dolphin player (Don Jones) tweeted “Horrible” in response to the kiss. He was fined, suspended and ordered to undergo sensitivity training. After eight days of said training he was reinstated. Wow, cured in eight days. It must have worked though because he apologized, admitted his behavior was unacceptable and offered to perform eight hours of community service fellatio at Miami’s next pride event.

A Dallas daytime talk show host stormed off the set after a discussion of the kiss seen round the world. Ironically, her big beef was that it was all for publicity. Hence, I will not be using her name. (But, for a visual, think Elisabeth Hasseltwit with a slight southern accent.) I’m not sure if she received sensitivity training or not. Between all the “Bless your hearts” and “I do declares,” it would be hard to tell down there anyway.

Donald Trump said it was “too much.” Holy comb-over Batman, if Donald Trump finds something excessive.

But what about us? Sure, the homophobes get their training to be able to see two men kissing without becoming excited but we will need to learn how to deal with the fourth grade humor that surely awaits us when the 2014 NFL season kicks off. You know what I’m talking about, the juvenile jokes, maybe not necessarily mean, but wherein we are the punch line. After all, the man’s job will be to “blow by” a “tight end” and “sack” the quarterback all while playing for the Rams. Thank God he didn’t go to the Packers. Did you chuckle just now? You won’t after the seven millionth time you hear it.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I will need training to not slap people. Sophomoric jokes annoy me anyway. When my people are the butt of those jokes, it could get ugly. So, I am getting ready by creating my own sensitivity program. And, if you think you might need help too, welcome to Samophobia Sensitivity Training.

The fundamental basis of this training is getting the offender to recognize that his or her casual remarks are actually hurtful and could offend us. So, for example, when Michael Sam blasts through the line and tackles the quarterback with a few of his teammates and the guy in the seat next to you yells out a remark about Sam liking it on the bottom of the pile, simply point out that not all gay men are bottoms. Say: “Think of the logistics, Silly.” Then go into lengthy and graphic detail about the myriad of ways gay men have sex. The offender’s subsequent erection will be so pronounced he will have to excuse himself from the seat and you won’t have to hear anymore from him. It might not cure him, but does get rid of him in the moment so you can enjoy the game.

Should Michael miss a tackle and the lady in the seat next to you chides him to go cry in his boyfriend’s arms, simply point out to her that a man in touch with his feelings enough to not be afraid to cry is quite psychologically advanced. And, that you understand how she wouldn’t know since she’s not been with a man since 1974.

When you’re out in a bar and some guy boasts how, were he on the Rams team, he’d shower at home after practice. Tell him that you don’t blame him and you understand how difficult it must be to go through life with an excruciatingly small penis.

As you can see, empathy is the key here. Kindly, gently and lovingly showing others how hurtful words and tiresome jokes can feel. And, if it doesn’t seem to work, push them over the railing at the stadium.

Remember that this is a new program and, as with all new models there may need to be adjustments. But, we need to start somewhere. I will keep you posted if and when the curriculum changes.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

The post A guide to dealing with Michael Samaphobia first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY CANDY PARKER

I’m not terribly happy right now. In fact, one might be able to classify me as bordering on furious at the present moment, a rare state for this easygoing Libra.

Why am I on the verge of spitting nails? Well, I’ll tell you – I’ve about had it up to here (insert mental image of me with my right hand, palm down, extended just above my head) with middle-aged straight guys, in the form of sports radio talk show hosts and bloggers, whining about “thought police” and the “LGBT mafia” and “bullying” in the context of discussing Michael Sam, the reaction to his being selected in the NFL draft and the resulting disciplinary actions taken against high-profile sports figures who spoke out against the move via social media.

I just ran out to get lunch and heard yet another sports radio talk show host bantering with his guest, a FOX sports blogger, carping about how the world has become so politically correct that people can’t even say what they think anymore. What a terrible world it is we live in when people can be fined, fired or publicly taken to task for merely voicing their opinion! Shouldn’t we all be scared to live in a world where corporations and monopolized organizations like the NFL and NBA can squelch the personal beliefs of their employees?

The not-good-enough-to-play-so-I-write-and-talk-about-sports twins went on to compare the Miami Dolphins’ Don Jones’ tweets following Sam’s on-screen kiss with his boyfriend (“OMG” and “Horrible” – that Jones is an eloquent and loquacious fellow, after all) to someone voicing an opinion about gun ownership or the legalization of marijuana. If Jones doesn’t want to see two dudes kissing on television shouldn’t he be able to say that? Shouldn’t people be able to speak up if they believe drugs should be legal or that the right to bear automatic weapons in Chipotle is inalienable? (Don’t even get me started on the yahoos who did that over the weekend!)

The always-picked-last-for-kickball duo went on to extoll the virtues of free speech and the importance of open discourse in society. Isn’t that how we solve our problems? Shouldn’t we be discussing our differences in order to reach agreement? For a brief moment, I think I may have even heard American flags gently flapping in the wind as it swept over amber waves of grain.

Of course, the guest made a point of mentioning that he was Libertarian in his views on gay rights or, more specifically, gay marriage. Hey, if those gay people want to get married, then we should go ahead and let ‘em. The ol’ “Hey, I’m not prejudiced; I have black friends”-like disclaimer. (I personally find these types maddening as they’re typically the ones claiming they’re “fine with the gays,” but don’t think we need any “special rights,” having failed to actually familiarize themselves with the actual issues at hand.)

But what these guys don’t get is that talking about my basic rights to be treated like a human being isn’t the same as talking about whether or not someone should be able to spark up on the street corner or own a grenade launcher (solely for hunting purposes, of course).

Yes, there should be public discourse and sharing of opinions regarding matters such as legalized marijuana, gun ownership, abortion, taxes, religion and any countless number of other controversial topics. If an NFL player wants to hop on Twitter and tweet “Taxes suck” then by all means let him. (He certainly won’t get any argument from me on that one.)

But what all the middle-aged straight guys on sports radio don’t understand is that when someone like Jones tweets “Horrible” or when former Ole Miss hoopster Marshall Henderson tweets “Boycotting sportscenter til this michael sam nasty ass s—t is off…My brothers are 7 and 11 and saw that!!! #sickening” what is really being said is “I hate gay people.”

And when people say that they hate gay people, what they’re really saying is that they don’t think gays should have the right to marry; that it’s OK for people to be fired from their job simply for being gay; that they’re all for allowing businesses to discriminate against gays; and, in some of the more extreme cases, that they don’t believe gays have the right to live. And none of that is OK.

If you’re among those bashing us “thought police” types, try substituting the word “black” for the word “gay” in the prior paragraph and see how offensive it sounds. Ooooh, so that’s what we’re all upset about! (If only it were that simple to persuade them, huh?)

If a white NFL player had commented on an image of African-American NFL quarterback Robert Griffin III kissing his white wife by saying, “I don’t want to see that nasty ass n—-r kissing a white woman on ESPN!!! #hanghimhigh” I’d venture a guess that the NFL would have acted swiftly in fining, suspending and/or sending said ignorant white player to “sensitivity training.” So why is it so unreasonable to expect the same in the instances of anti-gay remarks? Answer me that, Mr. middle-aged straight guy sports radio talk show host and blogger!

What it comes down to quite simply is one word – discrimination.

Just because marijuana isn’t legal everywhere doesn’t mean it’s being discriminated against. And just because every gun hasn’t yet found a home doesn’t mean it’s being discriminated against either. It’s OK to voice your opinions “for” or “against” such things. Heck, you can even be for some types of guns and against others; I don’t care. And you can be pro-medical marijuana, but anti-recreational marijuana – tweet away about such things and be as self-contradictory or irrational as you choose. We in the “LGBT mafia” won’t care.

But note that we are not “things;” we are people. And it absolutely isn’t OK to discriminate against people or to be “for” some and “against” others simply because their DNA differs from yours.

You know what’s most remarkable about all of this is that while we’ve made it illegal in this country to discriminate against items that are simply “beliefs” (e.g., religion), we have yet to make it illegal from coast to coast to discriminate against people for simply being born with a given genetic composition. Sure, we took care of it in regard to skin pigmentation (at least from a legal standpoint), but we have yet to do the same for those born with the gay gene.

So middle-aged straight guy sports radio talk show hosts and bloggers, I’m sorry. The world it is a-changin’. It’s not OK to use the “n-word” anymore, wives aren’t the only ones cooking dinner and taking care of the kids these days and it’s not alright to discriminate against the LGBT community either. We’re here, we’re queer and we’re demanding our inalienable rights as human beings. If that makes us “bullies,” so be it. (Actually, we know it doesn’t make us bullies and we’re amused by your attempts to misappropriate the word in an effort to bolster your feeble argument.)

We’re not trying to squash anyone’s right to free speech or stifle open discourse. But our rights are not subject to debate, and, yeah, we’re going to be a little sensitive about the whole thing until it is no longer legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians (and all the other initials in LGBTQIA) in regard to employment, housing, marriage, business services or in any other fashion.

You have to understand that we’re not trying to change minds, we’re trying to change laws and, as I’m sure the African-American community can tell you, the former is far more difficult to affect than the latter. So the small-minded can hate us all they want; we realize that’s not changing any time soon. But just know that we’ll likely be much more tolerant of bigoted rants and social media posts once our rights are fully protected under the law.

So, middle-aged straight guy sports radio talk show hosts and bloggers, do you get it now?

The post Thought police, the LGBT mafia, bullying in the wake of Michael Sam first appeared on Lesbian.com.

From the people who brought us “How to talk to your kids about Ellen Page,” we now have this comedic gem. With bigots everywhere up in arms about the openly gay Michael Sam being drafted into the NFL, it’s nice to be reminded that there are NFL players with much more serious “issues.”

The post How to talk to your kids about Michael Sam first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Michael Sam at the 2014 NFL combine

BY CANDY PARKER
Lesbian.com

After months of speculation, the question as to whether or not the NFL is ready for an openly gay player has been answered — Michael Sam has been drafted into the NFL.

Sam made headlines in early February when he came out during interviews with ESPN and The New York Times. By selecting the SEC Defensive Player of the Year as the 249th pick in the 2014 draft, the St. Louis Rams make Sam the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL.

As the draft entered its final (7th) round Saturday afternoon, anticipation regarding Sam’s future heightened. By all accounts, the former Missouri Tiger defensive end was expected to make it into an NFL training camp, though those in the know debated whether that would be as a late round draft pick or as an undrafted free agent after Sam’s mediocre performance at the NFL combine.

Sam’s size, strength and speed were all in question, though analysts now say that Sam’s aggressive style of play makes him a great choice for the defensive-minded Rams. Sam could be a perfect fit in the creative blitzing schemes of Rams defensive coordinator Greg Williams.

OTA off-season workouts get underway for the Rams on June 3. That’s when the next question in this historic saga will begin to be answered — is Michael Sam ready for the NFL?

The post Sam selected in final round of NFL draft first appeared on Lesbian.com.

(Photo courtesy of FlamingCity.com)

BY LYNDSEY D’ARCANGELO
Curve

With the NFL draft approaching fast, Michael Sam will continue to remain in the national spotlight. And why not? He could be the first openly gay professional football player in the history of the league. But it’s important to note that while Sam’s admission is groundbreaking on many levels, female athletes have long since knocked down the sexuality barrier in professional sports.

Here are five notable out lesbian athletes worth mentioning — not only for their athletic prowess but also for their willingness and courage to be themselves:

Brittney Griner – Basketball

Brittney Griner graduated from Baylor University last spring and left the closet behind, along with her former Lady Bear teammates. Griner was chosen number one overall by the Phoenix Mercury in the 2013 WNBA draft and began her professional basketball career as an out lesbian. She is very passionate about bullying, as she was bullied herself as a child. With an endorsement deal with Nike and her own line of bowties, Griner is poised to have a long and storied career on and off the basketball court.

See the other out lesbian athletes at Curve

Curve, the nation’s best-selling lesbian magazine, spotlights all that is fresh, funny, exciting, controversial and cutting-edge in our community.

The post 5 out lesbian athletes first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Michael Sam at the NFL Combine (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

BY CHRIS GREENBERG
Huffington Post Gay Voices

Michael Sam, a first-team All-American defensive lineman out of Missouri, dropped a “Back to the Future” reference on Tuesday when responding to a Republican lobbyist who wants him barred from the NFL. The 24-year-old college football standout recently announced that he is gay and is aiming to become the first out player in the NFL.

Lobbyists? Where Michael Sam is going he doesn’t need the permission of any lobbyists.

Read more at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Michael Sam responds to lobbyist who wants to ban gay NFL players first appeared on Lesbian.com.

“Divided we are weak. Together we are strong.”

Those were the words tweeted by openly gay football star Michael Sam, thanking his University of Missouri family for their support. He posted the message after arriving at the school and seeing a group of Mizzou students surrounding the perimeter in order to block out a Westboro Baptist Church protest.

Read more at Huffington Post Gay Voices

The post Students form wall of love to combat Westboro Baptist Church first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Ellen Page announced today that she is a lesbian.

In front of an audience of LGBT youth at an HRC Time to Thrive event in Las Vegas, Page said, “I’m here today because I’m gay. And because maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility.”

People reports that the “Juno” and “X-Men: Days of Future Past” star went on to say that, “It’s weird because here I am, an actress, representing — at least in some sense — an industry that places crushing standards on all of us. Not just young people, but everyone. Standards of beauty. Of a good life. Of success. Standards that, I hate to admit, have affected me.”

In her remarks, Page also praised Division I defensive lineman Michael Sam for coming out ahead of his pro career and said that no longer having to lie about who she is will be an unimaginable weight lifted from her shoulders.

Watch Page’s HRC speech here.

The post BREAKING NEWS: Ellen Page comes out first appeared on Lesbian.com.