“We don’t fall in love with the gender – we fall in love with the person” – this incredible thought is a cross-cutting theme of all lesbian quotes and sayings. Indeed, it doesn’t matter who you love, your feelings and your needs are everything that matters. That’s why it’s so important to share them.

Don’t know how? It’s not a problem, my dear lady. Click here for more.

We’ve done a big job to pick up the most thoughtful and spicy collection of lesbian texts, lesbian kissing quotes, and relationship sayings, so just take them to take relationships with your beloved girl up to the next level.

Lesbian Relationship Quotes and Sayings
Lesbians love to talk about love and how amazing and unpredictable it can be: the best friend becoming a girlfriend, a beautiful chick that took the table next to you turns out to be a lesbian and you’re both absolutely in love, you steal a girl from some local macho – yes, lesbian relationships are so multifaceted and wonderful, and numerous lesbian quotes prove that:

• Staring at you and thinking: how did a girl like you end up with a girl like me?

• As I stare at you this very moment, I had realized you’re still the one I wanna fall for, every second from now.

• Seeing your girl undress in front of you is some other level of high.

• Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.

• At the end of the night, all I really want is my head on your chest with your fingers wrapped around mine.

• It will always be you, for the rest of my life and beyond.

• You may not be perfect, but with every imperfection, I find you’re more perfect for me.

• My girl, you have no idea how good it feels to wake up every morning knowing you are mine and I’m yours.

• It doesn’t matter what others say, as long as you’re here with me, it’s all that matters.

• I’m gonna marry that girl, no matter what you say.

Find the perfect quote for your sweetheart or social media feed here.

The post Cute lesbian quotes first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Graphic courtesy of Carvaka Adult Toys

The post The A to Zs of gender identity and sexual orientation first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme, 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and everything is going really well. We moved in together a few months ago and it’s been great to live with my best friend and come home to her everyday. And I do come home to her, I work a little bit later than she does, so by the time i get home, she has dinner waiting for me. And that’s so nice and I’m so lucky. But the problem is that dinner is always terrible. It’s just so bad, I would rather just microwave leftovers or get takeout than eat it. I don’t understand what she does to it. She thinks she’s a really good cook and I don’t want to burst her bubble. 

How can I tell her her cooking is terrible without ruining our relationship? I’m afraid she will be hurt and resent me and I would do anything to avoid hurting her feelings, or putting our relationship in jeopardy. Please help. 

Hungry in Ohio

Dear Hungry,

Of all the problems in the world, this isn’t a bad problem to have. If you and your girlfriend have as strong of a relationship as it sounds, you should be able to talk to her about this. Talking to her about this small problem is really good practice for when you have to talk about the more important problems that will crop up if you end up spending your entire lives together.

Maybe say something like, “I really appreciate it when you make dinner for me, it’s so nice to come home to that after a long day at work. But, sometimes the food you make is too ___” Insert whatever adjective you need too. I kind of want to know how she ruins this food. Is it too salty? Burnt to a crisp? Does she put ketchup on everything?

You could also say something like, “This food needs a little something, I really like kale with garlic not kale with ketchup.” Or whatever it is she’s doing. Eventually she will start taking notice of what you like and don’t like, and incorporating that into the meals she cooks.

If you’re too scared to address the problem directly, there are more subtle steps you can take. You guys can take a cooking class together and maybe she can incorporate some of the lessons learned into her dinner repertoire. You could watch some Food Network shows together and try to recreate the recipes. Or even find some recipes you like and send them over to her to make for dinner. Give her a back rub for being so accommodating to your cravings.

Good luck, Hungry! Let us know how it goes.

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: I love my girlfriend, but I hate her cooking! first appeared on Lesbian.com.

So you like a girl and she likes you…but then what?! Robin and Lacie, a real life lesbian couple, share their tips on sealing the deal and keeping the deal sealed. Watch their silly, but totally true, hacks for learning to live with your person long term and keeping the romance alive. Spoiler alert: try not to fart in front of your person.

photo credit: still love you. via photopin (license)

The post Bloggers Lacie and Robin Talk Relationship Hacks first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme,

I love my girlfriend more than anything. We’ve been together for two years and long-distance that whole time, but we’re only a day’s drive apart, and we visit each other as often as we can. Last fall she applied for a one-year position abroad and I figured I would move there with her. But she’s just heard that she’s been assigned to work in a remote town rather than the city she thought she would be sent to. The country she’s going to is pretty homophobic and she believes it wouldn’t be safe for us to be there together without the anonymity of a city.

Needless to say, I’m devastated. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through a year without her. It’s already so painful being apart for just a few weeks at a time. The worst part is that she’s so excited about this opportunity, and I feel incredibly guilty that I can’t just be happy for her. How can I learn to cope with this and focus on all the good times we’ll have in the future rather than the terrible time I’m having now?

– Left Behind

Hi Left,

Ahh, what a problem! A year is both a long time and no time at all. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be upset about the prospect of their girlfriend leaving for an entire year, no matter how happy she was about the opportunity. It’s possible to be excited about a great job opportunity but also sad at the prospect of leaving you for so long.

I know you don’t want to dampen your girlfriends spirits and that’s totally a testament to your love for her, but you two have to talk about it. Isn’t she a little sad at the prospect of leaving you for a whole year? She must be, and if she’s not, there might be something deeper in the relationship you need to address. Assuming that she is excited but sad about being apart for a whole year, maybe plan for time when you can go visit her. Surely she gets some holidays off from her position and you two can meet in the nearby city. Seeing each other twice for 5-7 days seems like a reasonable compromise while she’s gone.

Also let her know that you expect some communication from her while she’s gone. You don’t want to ruin her experience abroad by making her sit in front of a screen FaceTiming with you, but she should try to call you and email you when it’s accessible and convenient. And she shouldn’t neglect you while she’s gone. Support is a two way street. You need to make sure you don’t ruin this experience for her but she also can’t leave you high and dry for a year and expect everything to resume the way it has been when she gets back.

Okay, so let’s assume you two have worked out a schedule of visits and communication so you don’t go crazy. I know this sounds nuts, but try to think of this year alone as an opportunity. You love your girlfriend more than anything, you two are probably going to be together for a long time. So use this time to work on yourself. Do things that you haven’t had time to do because you spend time traveling to see your girlfriend. See your friends more! Make new friends! Visit your grandparents, they aren’t going to live forever! Take that language class you always wanted to take. Learn to cook. Write a novel. Binge watch that TV show your girlfriend hates. Or travel abroad to places that are gay friendly. Take a girls trip with your friends. There’s so much to do, so much that can be done in life. Your girlfriend is out there living her dream. What is your dream? Figure it out and live it. The year will go by faster than you know.

Best of luck, sweetie. Let us know how it goes!

Xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: My girlfriend is moving abroad for a year and I’m devastated first appeared on Lesbian.com.

In the very recent past, I lived in sunny Florida for a glorious 12-month stay while I worked at a famous tourist destination. Yeah, that one. And not having been out for very long, I was eager to live the biggest, gayest life I could while I was thousands of miles away from everyone who knew me as straight or questioning.

Being a freshly hatched baby gay, I had no idea how to find girls around me and so there was a lot of late night googling of gay bars and building up my online dating profile, hoping to find someone to guide me around the American scene.

I was shocked to discover that I didn’t need the American scene; I just needed an American girl. Her name was Valentina. She was originally from Chile, lived in Florida and had for years, spoke English perfectly and was fluent in Spanish.

If I’m honest, it was probably the Spanish thing that attracted me to her the most; I’d never heard it spoken so much as when I lived in the states and when I heard her purr it into her phone when talking to her Chilean friends, I died. The ability to flip between languages and lean over to me and whisper something sexy in Spanish was incredibly hot. There aren’t too many Spanish speakers in London, not as many as Florida anyway.

I realized Valentina wasn’t like any girl I’d ever met in England — gay or straight. She had a confidence and a level of honesty that was wholly unfamiliar and although shocking at first, it became refreshing. British people are known for skirting around issues and repressing how we feel, but I felt a great weight lifted off of me in being with someone who I felt I could be honest around and who I knew was being genuine with me.

The next few girls I dated in Florida were just the same, ballsy and open, and it made me feel like I could as brave as they were. They would do things like talk to complete strangers on the street — British people would never dream of doing that! These little cultural difference became the exciting part of dating Americans as I described the exotic landscape of London to them and answered their adorable questions like, “did they show ‘Friends’ in England?” I also enjoyed the variety of accents too, particularly Brittany from Georgia, the Southern Belle who turned out to be not only bisexual but also married — can’t win ‘em all.

On the whole, I’d say that it was their confidence and ability to be friendly to anyone they met; I became addicted to their positive outlook. The other girls I dated in the states all turned out to be very similar. All of them young, confident, sociable people but I’ll admit — the dark hair and ability to speak Spanish popped up a few more times; I definitely developed my type in America.

Dattch — The Lesbian App is out for iOS and Android. Loved by Lesbian.com, AfterEllen and Autostraddle, we are the social platform for all things gay. Free download!

The post Why British girls love American girls first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Hello there Femme!

Before tonight I had never heard of lesbian.com but I stumbled upon it after a night out with my girls and I saw your advice column. I really like how honest you are with your readers and I decided after reading like three posts to submit a question.

First of all, I have always identified as heterosexual. I’ve made out with a couple ladies in my teens but never been intimate with another woman. I find women attractive but I never really considered myself a bisexual or lesbian until recently.

I’m at a point now where I feel as though I am bisexual because I seek out lesbian pornography and I am extremely curious about relations with women. Not only that, there was a really hot girl working one of the concession stands tonight at the fair who told me I was “so cute.” I just melted under pressure and said thanks, tipped her and left. I thought about her the rest of the night. I’m comfortable enough to own my sexuality within myself but, I’ve been dating this guy for close to two years and that sort of complicates things.

A part of me thinks I need to tell him because I know that not everyone feels comfortable with dating a bisexual. At the same time, I’m not sure how he’ll react once he finds out and if our relationship will be secure.

I just want to know if it’s the right thing to go ahead and tell him or just keep it to myself.

-To Share or not to Share

Dear Share,

Congratulations on finding yourself! I’m really excited for you to begin this journey. But you know, talk about burying the lede! It sounds like maybe you aren’t very serious about this guy you have been dating for two years, because you don’t call him your boyfriend. Still, two years is a really long time to just date someone casually and you obviously don’t want to lose him. I vote tell him. Tell him because you need to see if he’s is someone worth keeping. I can’t say if your relationship will be secure once you tell him, because I don’t know how he will feel about dating someone who is bisexual. But if you lose him, then good riddance. Biphobia is definitely something you will encounter along your journey, Share. But there are plenty of people who will be totally cool with it and these are the people who are worth your time and affection.

On another note, it’s really unclear to me whether or not you and this guy are monogamous. If you are monogamous, then you probably shouldn’t get numbers from cute concession stand workers. Going out with women when you are in a relationship with a man is only okay if you and that man have discussed this and everyone is fine with that arrangement- including the women you want to date. Communication to all romantic partners is so important when you are dating more than one person. That holds true no matter what your orientation.

Best of luck, Share! Let us know how it goes!

xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about them visit http://www.latewerks.com or purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: Should I tell my boyfriend I’m bisexual? first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Dear Femme,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We moved in together a few months ago and for the most part, things have been fine. My biggest problem is that whenever we have ‘down time’ after school for her (she’s still a student) and after work for me, she just zones out on her phone. Before we lived together she never did that. It’s really annoying. I don’t think she’s cheating on me or whatever. I just don’t like it. I feel like we talked more before we lived together. She will even do it when we go out to eat, which isn’t often because she’s a broke student and I have to support both of us. I feel like she’s ignoring me. Maybe not ignoring me completely, but like, I don’t keep her entertained enough or I’m boring or something. Does this happen to all couples who move in together? What should I do?

Ignored in D.C.

Dear Ignored,

Thanks for writing in! I totally get your frustration. Sometimes I look at groups of people who are all out to dinner and mindlessly scrolling through their phones and I’m like, “Stop! Enjoy each other’s company!” But I am also totally guilty of it too. Sometimes my fiancé and I will both be on our phones while we are out to dinner and become “that couple.” It happens to the best of us.

I think that you should talk to your girlfriend about it. From your letter, you don’t mention talking to her about this at all. Instead you are letting yourself spiral downward when there might not actually be a problem.

When in doubt, talk it out! Tell her that you are starting to feel insecure about yourself because of all the time she spends staring at her phone. Some people have more addictive personalities than others and she might not even realize how many hours she is wasting on it. She might even thank you for pointing it out.

The next thing you should do, after you talk about it, is to ask that date nights be phone free nights. I can sense some resentment on your part about paying for dates that your gf doesn’t seem to appreciate in the way you want her too. You need to nip this in the bud now before it becomes an actual problem in your relationship. Just because you are paying for the date, doesn’t entitle you to anything from her. You chose to merge households and expenses in this relationship knowing your gf was a broke student and that there would be an imbalance in bill paying until she graduates and can contribute more. So leave the issue of who pays for what out of this conversation.

Anywho- back to phone free date night. Not phone free like, leave them at home, that’s not safe or even that practical. I mean, my phone is my mirror and my camera. I can’t have date night without it! Think phone free like, “Let’s enjoy each other’s company and keep our phones in our pockets/bags until we need to take a picture of our food or a selfie to commemorate the evening.”

Good luck, Ignored! I’m sure you and your gf will be back on track in no time!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com

For more illustrations by Lee Ely, visit their Behance page or buy a print from Society 6. The illustration used on this page was based on a photo found on What Japan is Wearing. 

The post Ask the Femme: My girlfriend would rather check her phone than talk to me! first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Illustration by Lee Ely

Dear Femme,

I’ve been single for two years. It seems like every time I start dating someone, things go smoothly for one or two months and then she just disappears! I don’t get it. I don’t have sex with anyone until I think they are really interested (definitely not on the first date!) and everything always seems to be fine until the other person stops returning my calls. I’m not a needy person, I don’t call or text my dates every five minutes but I pay enough attention for them to know I am interested. What am I doing wrong? Thanks for your help!

Two Month Chump

Hi TMC,

Thanks for writing! I’m sorry to hear about your predicament, it’s a pretty tricky situation. I don’t know much about you, but I’m going to try to give you the best advice possible.  There are several different possibilities.

1)      It’s not you, it’s them: What type of women are you choosing to date? What is the common thread? Do you tend to choose women who have just gotten out of long-term relationships? Do you gravitate towards women who aren’t looking for a long term partner? Try to find out on the first or second date if your date is emotionally available or just looking for a good time. Usually you can just trust your instincts on this one. If she starts crying into her ice cream about her ex-girlfriend, she’s probably not ready to date anyone seriously. That’s your cue to cut her out or put her into the friend zone. This is the best way to ensure you don’t get your feelings hurt down the road. You have to look out for those red flags before you invest your heart into someone.

2)     It’s not them, it’s you: What signals do you send to your dates? Are you sending out “let’s just be friends” vibes? Do come across as not wanting to be in a long-term relationship? Are you so concerned with coming across as ‘needy’ that you come across as disinterested? Listen to yourself when you talk, do you talk about your ex too much? Do you talk about traveling the world with no ties or commitments to anyone or anything? These are red flags to girls who are looking to settle down with someone. If a month has passed and the girl is still around, talk about a future that applies to both of you.

3) You haven’t met the right one yet: It sucks, but dating is a numbers game. There’s a chance that the relationships you have had have faded out because she just wasn’t the right one for you. When you meet the right person, things click into place. I know that after being single for awhile, it’s hard to imagine that happening so easily, but when you meet the right person it won’t be this hard.

4) Be yourself, be spontaneous: TMC, it sounds like you have your dating game down to a science. You have rules for yourself about when to text and how often and when to have sex, etc. Is that really you? Be yourself, follow your instincts instead of going by the book. Throw the book away. Do whatever you want and ask your date if she’s in for the ride.

Good luck, TMC and let me know if it works!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com

For more illustration by Lee Ely, visit their Behance page!

The post Ask the Femme: Two Month Chump first appeared on Lesbian.com.

photo credit: via photopin (license)

BY NATASIA LANGFELDER
Lesbian.com

Dear Femme,

First of all I want to say that I’m not a lesbian, I’m Pansexual.I hope you will still answer my question. I’ve been with my husband for over five years now, married for three. We are both in our 30s. I thought that we have always been open and honest with each other. I thought that we had a great sex life. We have toyed with the idea of a threesome with another woman. It never really worked out though. We didn’t find another bisexual girl who we clicked with. I hope that’s enough background for you to understand my problem.

My problem is that my husband has a paid Ashley Madison account. My friend and I were playing around and entering emails of all the men we knew into one of those search engines for it. She put in my husband’s email address and it popped up. I confronted him about it and he said that he was using it to find a third for us. I asked him why he would keep it a secret instead of having us out up a profile together. He didn’t have an answer but he said that he didn’t meet anyone off it and that if someone had messaged him he would have told me. I’m shocked and I don’t know what to do. I thought we were open and honest and he went behind my back!  Right now we pretending it never happened. But I can’t bring myself to be intimate with him. What should I do? I just want my life to go back to normal.

Sad in Seattle

Dear Sis,

Of course I take questions from pansexuals! lesbian.com is inclusive of the entire queer community. Now! Onto your real problems.

I am so so sorry to hear about your husbands actions. For those of you who have been on vacation for the last few weeks, Ashley Madison is a website for married people (mostly men) who are looking to have discreet affairs. The massive leak of Ashley Madison users information was a huge violation of privacy and could change the way we use the internet. I would definitely caution people to avoid using sites that will match email accounts to Ashley Madison accounts to check up on relatives and parents.

Back to Sis- You are allowed to feel confused and hurt and sad and mad. Feel your feelings right now, as deeply as you can. Your life isn’t going to go back to the way it was before your husband violated your trust. However, I do believe that you and your husband can take steps to rebuild your relationship. You can start by accepting the way you feel and embracing it so that you can eventually let it go. Pretending that everything is fine is just going to create an emotional bottleneck that will cause your relationship to implode.

Sit your husband down, tell him that you can’t ignore the problem. Find a queer friendly, sex positive couples therapist in your area. Work together to find the time in your schedules to go and the funds to pay for it. Tell your husband you love him and you need him to be 100% committed to fixing the damage to your relationship- that means being totally honest and transparent with you.

Also, maybe try to take a step back and work through why he signed up for Ashley Madison. Was he feeling insecure in your relationship? Was he feeling out of control at work? While we all have to take responsibility for our actions, we don’t exist in a vacuum and there are so many nuanced reasons for the actions that we take and the roads we pursue in life. As long as your husband works hard to regain your trust, and you keep an open mind, I see no reason why you can’t work through this. However, if your husband keeps his walls up and refuses to see a therapist with you, you need to consider your next steps. Staying with a dishonest partner can wreck havoc on your psyche. Put your happiness first and trust your instincts.

Good luck, Sis! Let us know how it works out.

Xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com

The post Ask the Femme: My Husband has an Ashley Madison Account first appeared on Lesbian.com.