It’s the holiday season and you know what that means, hours trying to figure out what to buy for friends that are impossible to buy for; and long, delayed holiday commutes home to see friends and family. I have the solution to both of these problems…books! Bring something along to read as you sit in the airport, waiting out a two hour long snow delay. Then, when you get to your destination, wrap the book up and pass it on as a gift! I’ve written about some really great reads on this website already, you can find them here, here, here and here. But if you’ve burned through those already, here are some great new reccos from your favorite advice columnist!

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

This novel puts a twist on the classic, ‘coming out and coming of age story,’ that has been done a hundred times before. Readers will find themselves engrossed in Cameron Post’s story as she falls in love and then gets sent to a ‘pray the gay away’ camp. The book is being made into a movie starring Chloë Grace Moretz, so read the book now! You will want to take a date to see the movie when it comes out. Buy it here!

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

Queerness and polyamory abound in The Fifth Season, the first book in the Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin. The book is a mix of sci-fi, fantasy and realism that will keep readers riveted. The New York Times review said, “‘The Fifth Season’ invites us to imagine a dismantling of the earth in both the literal and the metaphorical sense, and suggests the possibility of a richer and more fundamental escape. The end of the world becomes a triumph when the world is monstrous, even if what lies beyond is difficult to conceive for those who are trapped inside it. Read it and discover why the cult of N.K. Jemisin is blooming all over the world. Buy it here!

The Water Knife by Paolo Bacigalupi

The Water Knife explores life in the U.S after water becomes scarce and states are locked in battles over water rights. The novel explores the lives of several characters, one of which turns out to be queer. I can’t tell you which, because that would ruin the surprise. But in a genre that tends to ignore women, and especially queer women, this novel gives life to a well-rounded lesbian character. Buy it here!

Revival by Stephen King 

I know, this is a weird entry to this list. But give it a chance! There is a really super cute lesbian couple in it. Also, the book is weird and crazy and a fun, fast read. Something that we all need as we head into 2017 and a Trump presidency. Buy it here! Or rent it from your local library.

Happy reading!

The post Queer books to read or gift this holiday season first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme, 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and everything is going really well. We moved in together a few months ago and it’s been great to live with my best friend and come home to her everyday. And I do come home to her, I work a little bit later than she does, so by the time i get home, she has dinner waiting for me. And that’s so nice and I’m so lucky. But the problem is that dinner is always terrible. It’s just so bad, I would rather just microwave leftovers or get takeout than eat it. I don’t understand what she does to it. She thinks she’s a really good cook and I don’t want to burst her bubble. 

How can I tell her her cooking is terrible without ruining our relationship? I’m afraid she will be hurt and resent me and I would do anything to avoid hurting her feelings, or putting our relationship in jeopardy. Please help. 

Hungry in Ohio

Dear Hungry,

Of all the problems in the world, this isn’t a bad problem to have. If you and your girlfriend have as strong of a relationship as it sounds, you should be able to talk to her about this. Talking to her about this small problem is really good practice for when you have to talk about the more important problems that will crop up if you end up spending your entire lives together.

Maybe say something like, “I really appreciate it when you make dinner for me, it’s so nice to come home to that after a long day at work. But, sometimes the food you make is too ___” Insert whatever adjective you need too. I kind of want to know how she ruins this food. Is it too salty? Burnt to a crisp? Does she put ketchup on everything?

You could also say something like, “This food needs a little something, I really like kale with garlic not kale with ketchup.” Or whatever it is she’s doing. Eventually she will start taking notice of what you like and don’t like, and incorporating that into the meals she cooks.

If you’re too scared to address the problem directly, there are more subtle steps you can take. You guys can take a cooking class together and maybe she can incorporate some of the lessons learned into her dinner repertoire. You could watch some Food Network shows together and try to recreate the recipes. Or even find some recipes you like and send them over to her to make for dinner. Give her a back rub for being so accommodating to your cravings.

Good luck, Hungry! Let us know how it goes.

Have a question for me? Email me at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: I love my girlfriend, but I hate her cooking! first appeared on Lesbian.com.

BY NATASIA LANGFELDER
Our favorite out and proud celebrities cleaned up at the 2016 emmy’s. And they were awesome doing it. Kate McKinnon won, “Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series” for her work and Saturday Night Live. Lesbians all over America swooned over her acceptance speech.

Next up, Sarah Paulson, who won for her turn as the brilliant but beleaguered attorney Marcia Clark on the miniseries, The People vs. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story. She gave a shout out to her partner, Holland Taylor saying, “If you’re watching, Holland Taylor, I love you”

Taylor responded with:

If I’m watching…?? If I’m WATCHING???
YES, I’m watching–!!!
good LORD! …
I LOVE you!!! pic.twitter.com/63341mz81C

— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) September 18, 2016

And then we all died of cuteness.

Jill Soloway won “Directing for a comedy series” for the critically acclaimed Transparent. She took advantage of her moment on stage to advocate for the transcommunity and rail against misogyny.

“I’ve always wanted to be part of a movement ― civil rights movement, the feminist movement,” Soloway said. “This TV show allows me to take my dreams about unlikeable Jewish people, queer folk, trans folk, and make them the heroes…Thank you to the trans community for your lived lives,” she said. “We need to stop violence against transgender women and topple the patriarchy. Topple the patriarchy!” She’s so right!

Also- Tatiana Maslany finally won for her portrayal of about a million clones in the Sci-Fi thriller, Orphan Black. Although Maslany herself isn’t queer (as far as we know), the series is LGBT inclusive and the lesbian clone, Cosima, is a huge fan favorite!

Congrats to all!

The post Queer women dominate the 2016 Emmys first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme,

This isn’t a dating question or anything but I hope you can help. I’ve recently moved to a new city and I fell in with a group of queer women. They have accepted me and I feel so happy to have finally found my people. Lately, a friend of one of my new friends has been coming to everything the group does. Let’s call her Karen. She’s really cool. She’s a singer and her career is taking off. She’s great looking and always the life of party. Whenever we walk into a bar everyone pays attention to us and bartenders treat her like a VIP. She’s so much fun and I enjoy being with her. I thought this was going to be the start of a great friendship. There’s one problem. She’s a Trump supporter.

She’s never mentioned this in front of the friend group. But I noticed that she commented on a celebrity’s Instagram. The celebrity (she’s queer and we both follow her) posted an anti-Trump meme and the comments were mostly people agreeing. But then I saw that Karen had commented. She was disagreeing. She said that Trump’s not racist and that people are putting words in his mouth. Then she argued with people who told her she was wrong, saying that they didn’t know him and had no proof. She came off like a bigoted idiot.

I don’t think I can be friends with someone who supports Trump. I moved away from my small town in order to get away from people like that. I’m disappointed in her and I don’t know what to do. Making the friend group choose between hanging out with her or me is petty and beneath me. And deep down I’m scared that they will choose her over me. I also don’t want to confront her over the issue and I’m not sure that there’s a third option. What should I do?

-Dump Trump

Dear Dump Trump,
What a pickle! I totally get why you wouldn’t want to hang out with this girl. She sounds terrible. It’s always surprising to me when a queer person (or a Latino person or a Muslim person) supports Trump. But they are out there! This election has made everyone go absolutely insane, the stakes are higher than ever and everything feels very personal. This has wrecked havoc on personal relationships. I feel like all advice columnists have had to deal with a “My spouse likes Trump and I hate him” question. However, your question is a little different, because this is a low-stakes friendship and not your life partner. So, yay for that, right?

Moving on- okay so you found out your new lezbro is terrible. I’m sorry, that sucks! If she wasn’t in your friend group, I would say to just pull the “slow fade” on her and just stop reaching out to her to hang out, take a long time to respond to texts and cancel plans, etc. I know that sounds terrible but sometimes it’s the kindest way to end things. I would still recommend doing something similar to this. You guys are acquaintances, so if you
don’t have her number don’t get it. Be polite but never initiate contact. There are plenty of friend groups that have members who orbit around each other. So orbit around her, be nice but standoffish. As long as she doesn’t mention Trump in front of you, don’t ruffle feathers.

That being said, if Karen does mention her support of Trump, I think you should tell her that you find his morals reprehensible, you are disappointed in her for supporting him and you aren’t interested in discussing him with her. Say it in a neutral tone, but firmly. Chances are if Karen is crazy enough to support Trump, there’s no reasonable or sane argument you could make to change her mind. She may also be looking for a fight, Trump supporters can be violent, so be sure not to give her one.

I would also mention the interaction you saw on Instagram to a few of the members of your crew. If they are anti-racist, then this may change the way they think about Karen as well. Don’t ask them to pick between you two, as they become aware of who Karen is underneath the partying and good looks, they might want to ditch her as well.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
Xoxo

The Femme
Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

photo credit: so confused via photopin (license)

The post Ask the Femme: My new friend is a Trump supporter, do I need to dump her? first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Dear Femme,

I love my girlfriend more than anything. We’ve been together for two years and long-distance that whole time, but we’re only a day’s drive apart, and we visit each other as often as we can. Last fall she applied for a one-year position abroad and I figured I would move there with her. But she’s just heard that she’s been assigned to work in a remote town rather than the city she thought she would be sent to. The country she’s going to is pretty homophobic and she believes it wouldn’t be safe for us to be there together without the anonymity of a city.

Needless to say, I’m devastated. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through a year without her. It’s already so painful being apart for just a few weeks at a time. The worst part is that she’s so excited about this opportunity, and I feel incredibly guilty that I can’t just be happy for her. How can I learn to cope with this and focus on all the good times we’ll have in the future rather than the terrible time I’m having now?

– Left Behind

Hi Left,

Ahh, what a problem! A year is both a long time and no time at all. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be upset about the prospect of their girlfriend leaving for an entire year, no matter how happy she was about the opportunity. It’s possible to be excited about a great job opportunity but also sad at the prospect of leaving you for so long.

I know you don’t want to dampen your girlfriends spirits and that’s totally a testament to your love for her, but you two have to talk about it. Isn’t she a little sad at the prospect of leaving you for a whole year? She must be, and if she’s not, there might be something deeper in the relationship you need to address. Assuming that she is excited but sad about being apart for a whole year, maybe plan for time when you can go visit her. Surely she gets some holidays off from her position and you two can meet in the nearby city. Seeing each other twice for 5-7 days seems like a reasonable compromise while she’s gone.

Also let her know that you expect some communication from her while she’s gone. You don’t want to ruin her experience abroad by making her sit in front of a screen FaceTiming with you, but she should try to call you and email you when it’s accessible and convenient. And she shouldn’t neglect you while she’s gone. Support is a two way street. You need to make sure you don’t ruin this experience for her but she also can’t leave you high and dry for a year and expect everything to resume the way it has been when she gets back.

Okay, so let’s assume you two have worked out a schedule of visits and communication so you don’t go crazy. I know this sounds nuts, but try to think of this year alone as an opportunity. You love your girlfriend more than anything, you two are probably going to be together for a long time. So use this time to work on yourself. Do things that you haven’t had time to do because you spend time traveling to see your girlfriend. See your friends more! Make new friends! Visit your grandparents, they aren’t going to live forever! Take that language class you always wanted to take. Learn to cook. Write a novel. Binge watch that TV show your girlfriend hates. Or travel abroad to places that are gay friendly. Take a girls trip with your friends. There’s so much to do, so much that can be done in life. Your girlfriend is out there living her dream. What is your dream? Figure it out and live it. The year will go by faster than you know.

Best of luck, sweetie. Let us know how it goes!

Xoxo

The Femme

Have a question for me? Shoot me an email at askafemme@yahoo.com

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit http://www.latewerks.com, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at https://society6.com/latewerks.

The post Ask the Femme: My girlfriend is moving abroad for a year and I’m devastated first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Jenny Block is the master of female orgasm and her latest book, “The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex: All You Need to Know About Masturbation” hit bookshelves this May. Block has made a name for herself with her previous books, “O Wow! Discovering your Ultimate Orgasm” and “Open” as a sex positive queer writer, who specializes in women’s empowerment through orgasm.

Block’s female positive sex advice has been featured on leading websites such as Huffington Post, Playboy, Bustle and many more. She has also been called to appear on TV, and has been featured on the Tyra Banks Show and The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, to name a few. Jenny I sat down to chat about her latest book and masturbation as self care.

How did you come up with the idea to write “The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex”?  

I was researching for my second book, “O Wow!” and I had interviewed about 150 women and was mesmerized by the answers. It occurred to me that part of the issue is that they were not masturbating. So I starting asking people if they were masturbating. My poor friends would like to have one brunch without me saying “pussy” out loud!

Women act as if masturbation is a mystery that we shouldn’t be talking about. They don’t make the connection that you need to do it yourself so you know what you need when you are with a partner. Women assume all orgasms should be with a partner.

What was your process for writing this book? 

I did so much research. It felt like an immersion course, it was like when you are learning a language. Read everything I could get my hands on. While I was talking to everyone [about masturbation] I did become a bit of a hermit. I was a college writing professor for about 10 years. There is a lot of writing and re-writing that goes into it. My students would freak out when I told them to throw out 2/3s of what they write.

Photo by Steph Grant – www.stephgrantphotogrpahy.com

I really loved that this book was written by a queer woman, most self-help books aren’t. But there’s a lot of value in a queer woman explaining how women get off. How did you decide how to approach this subject to make it accessible for all women? 

I live in a sex positive bubble and sometimes make assumptions that everyone is on the same wavelength. But sometimes the most well-traveled, lovely people don’t know much about how to get themselves off. It was really a matter of getting my own head out of the sand and taking the temperature of what is really going on out there with women.

Masturbation is the barometer of what’s going on in a woman’s life. Is she stressed? Is she putting herself last? When you are busy and stressed, the first thing to go is self care. Things like eating healthy, exercising and masturbating go out the window. It’s the first thing to go! And that’s terrible!

When we are stressed we give up all the things that help us take care of ourselves. It’s all the same as eating properly and working out. It’s just as important. I don’t get upset about brushing my teeth at night. Masturbation is included in self care and we aren’t taught that. Taking the time and energy to take care of yourself is so important

Don’t feel well? Masturbate! Stressed out? Masturbate!

Yes! That’s so true and so important. 

All that Brock turned shit going around. Lack of value.

If we talked about masturbation maybe we could elevate women in general. Women don’t talk about masturbation, or we don’t do it, or we don’t value it. People always say, ”Oh women can go without it,” when they talk about sex.

There was even an entire Seinfeld episode about masturbation. The men in the show thought Elaine would win, they even wanted to exclude her from the contest. But she was the first one out!

You describe intimate experiences with partners in the book- did you tell any of them they were going to be mentioned beforehand? What did they think of being included? 

That’s almost the thing I lead with! I should get a t-shirt that says, “be careful you might end up in my next book.” I’m really up front with that. People think it’s funny. Even if we are just friends, you’re warned if you hang out with me in any way, things can be very public.

My partner now is relatively conservative in that way. I told her I’m not writing erotica. If I write about how good she is in bed she will be embarrassed. But it’s better than saying she’s bad in bed!

When I was reading this book, I was thinking that it would be really beneficial to straight women. Have you been able to reach out to straight readers? 

I have a good straight following! I hate to be that queer girl that is like, “We do everything better than you do.” But I’ve been on both sides, and I’ve never had to tell a women it’s two inches away from where you think it is.

My book gets sequestered in the LGBT section but it’s probably more needed by straight people.

Which is crazy, because it’s a general self-help book for women. Masturbation isn’t just for gay women. Just because it was written by a queer woman, doesn’t mean it should automatically be shelved in the LGBT section. 

There was a sad comment on my second book. One woman told me we are past all this and we are all sex positive. I was like, “Oh honey, you have no idea.” She said my book about female orgasm was not necessary and that scared me even more. I feel really responsible as a lesbian with all the “secrets.” I feel like we should share them.

One time, I ended up out with three or four straight couples after a reading. The men were looking at their partners saying, “Why don’t you tell me this stuff?” And it was earth shattering for me. We [queer women] are always with our community. It’s not a conversation queer women are having. In the straight community they are saying, ““Of course you can get off in 13 seconds of penis in vagina intercourse and nothing else. That’s what they show in all the movies. That’s what’s in the magazines.”

I’m a writer who sleeps with women. I’m not a queer writer. I want people to know I’m queer, definitely, but it is confounding because this book is universal.

I like to say that I am uniquely qualified, because I did live on the other side of the fence. Theoretically I was a practicing hetero for some time- I know what it is to sleep with men. I would like more straight women to read my book. Straight women find the writing the most profound, queer women are like “right on.”

The community at large thinks of being queer as a lifestyle. But we are all people just trying to figure it out. I get asked relationship questions, it’s a little different, but it’s still two human beings trying to live. The straight community can learn a lot from the queer community meanwhile the straight community has all these rules they have to life by.

Any final thoughts for our readers?

I would like to see the fun put back in sex! If you don’t laugh once during sex you are doing it wrong. Women say they could “never tell” xyz to a partner. But sex should be fun! There’s so much pressure to be hot and have hot, crazy, wild, sex. But good sex involved being connected to another person or humans. Making sex fun again is part of my mission as well.

In the name of women’s empowerment- I want to remind women that masturbation and orgasm is both their right and their responsibility. Masturbation is part of taking care of yourself. Every average, healthy woman should be masturbating.

As I say in my book, “Your orgasm is your responsibility. No one else can make you come. Another people can help facilitate your orgasm. But they can’t make you come. If you can’t make yourself come, you can’t expect anyone else to be a part of making you come. How can your partner help you if you don’t know how it works yourself?”

You heard Jenny! Go out and masturbate! You can find Jenny at her website, www.thejennyblock.com. Purchase her books on Amazon, and like her on Facebook.

This interview has been edited and condensed. 

The post Author Jenny Block on masturbation as self care and female orgasm as empowerment first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Rainbow Fashion Week is a yearly event where LGBT designers and brands showcase their latest collections on the runway in NYC. NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio has sanctioned the event, “An official New York City Pre-Pride Fashion Event.” In it’s third year, the event is set to take place June 17 through the 26, 2016- just in time to coincide with Pride.

Attendees at the 3rd annual Rainbow Fashion Week will be treated to events such as, “Kids who Tech,” “Fashion for the Cure,” and a pet fashion show. The event is also committed to going green and discussing important social issues alongside sick fashions.

E. Jaguard (Jag) Beckford, founder and producer of Rainbow Fashion Week. In 2013, Jag launched Jaguar and Company Clothier where she presently designs “male identified” clothing for women. We chatted with Jag to discuss how Rainbow Fashion Week came into being and what inspires her to create.

Jag- Producer of Rainbow Fashion Week

How did you come up with the idea for Rainbow Fashion Week? 

After launching my clothing line “JagandCo” in 2013 for the gender binary, gender fluid, aggressive women such as myself, I realized that most of the “talent” is hidden behind the scenes. Wouldn’t it be great to have a Fashion Week kicking off pride in New York City that highlighted all of those fashion professionals that help create the finished work of art that struts the runway.

You started out as an entertainment attorney, how did you make the leap from law to fashion with your clothing company, Jaguar and Company Clothier?

Not a leap, more like a baby step. I actually supported myself designing clothes in the 90s. I would custom design tees, jeans, denim jackets, paint leather, make cool hats and jewelry and raised enough money to drive my 1967 red mustang to law school. My wares sold like hot cakes from my table in the student union.

What is it that you love about fashion? 

The Art. Fashion is “Art.” So our tag line for Rainbow Fashion Week is “The Art of Fashion. I see artistry in the make-up composition. I watch many videos of men transforming themselves into beautiful women.  I see photos of amazing hair, wigs and weaves sewn on a head and transform into magic. I watch the lighting designer, strategically place halogen lights, against soft bulbs and create inviting mystical spaces.  I see designers breathe life into sketches.  It’s the magic of the art of fashion that has me so mesmerized.

What inspires your work? 

Almost anything can inspire me. I once was transferring trains in New York at 14^th Street and they have Alice and Wonderland Statutes. I designed a few bowties, took then back to the station and did a mini photo shoot. I am also inspired by stories. I receive stories from a cop in Camden, New Jersey, who just wished for an opportunity to try walking a runway. She stated she felt in her 30 something years, she was at her best and just needed the world to see it. I also received a FB message from a young girl in London, who stated she was in a play called the “Young Prince” and it took her to move to the UK to be able to find herself, but she thanked us for creating spaces for the average Joe to be able to walk the runway, out and proud. I’m also inspired by a straight woman, seeing how I put my suits together, the stitching, the beautiful pattern compliments and have them ask me if I could help their husband.  All of these things inspire me.

What celebrities would you love to see wearing Jaguar and Company clothes? 

Ellen [DeGeneres]. I know I could dress and style the hell out of Ellen.

If I ran into you on a typical day in the life of Jag, what would you be wearing? 

Probably my signature Jag and Co snapback cap with gold cats and spikes, diaper pants, rockin’ my shell toe adidas with fly “lace-locks” or my paper-boi trousers, with some argyle socks and saddle buck shoes.

Tell me your favorite story from last year’s Rainbow Fashion Week.

Watching two double mastectomy breast cancer survivors, walking the runway in our show called; “Inside the Celebrity Closet” which addressed the issue of body dysmorphia. Very touching to watch that victory walk.

Rainbow Fashion Week is ‘carbon neutral’ – meaning achieving a green event having a carbon footprint of zero. Why was that an important goal for you? 

RFWNY has recently been invited to present our Fashion show in Nepal. This invitation came after attending my second meeting with the Water Keeprs Alliance where I learned that the textile industry is the 2^nd largest polluters of our global water system. I went home that night and rewrote our mission statement to do our part of making a change.  His Holiness stated that when looking to do your part, work within the industry that you do your best work in.  I felt that it was our responsibility to make whatever changes we could.

This year we will reduce our energy consumption by 1/3 through the usage of solar 12 kilowatt generators and 300-watt panels. Our Rainbow Pet Fashion Show has a petition to have the City of New York, create the very first Dog Waste Composting Bins on every other corner in the City. Because it causes disease and can be turned into fertilizer for our tree beds and parks system. We will have biodegradable serving plates and utensils, less bottled water and for many of our venue a recycling system in place, rather than the required “take everything with you in black bags and dump in the trash.”

So it is important that all of us teach one another how to “just do it.”

What cutting edge fashion trends can we expect to see at the event? 

Fashion is recycled as with everything going back in time very 20-30 years, so nothing is actually new.  Even when you look at technology fashion, ahhh it’s actually early “StarTrek” episode costuming. But, this year I am going for the plaids, stylish, bold handsome patterned plaids in my “Paper Boi” styled trouser short suits. We will also have some bold pieces made by Bravo TV Star Andre Sorriano, who is going to be working on re-purposed products donated by Delta Airlines. We are going to have some interesting works from “PrettyinPink” who has taken Hollywood by storm with her “Pussy Power” garments.

Click here for more information on Rainbow Fashion Week. To peep more of Jag’s fresh looks, click here. 

The post Behind the scenes at Rainbow Fashion Week first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Comedian Dana Goldberg

Comedian Dana Goldberg is set to headline at Seattle Women’s Pride this June. Goldberg is a highly acclaimed comedian, who has shared the a stage with President Barack Obama, Portia DeGeneres, Lady Gaga, Jane Lynch, Kathy Griffin and many more. She has also been named one of CURVE Magazine’s top five funniest lesbian comedians in America. In addition to being incredibly funny, Goldberg also gives back to the community- frequently performing at fundraisers for HIV/AIDS and LGBT awareness.

Goldberg is a natural fit to headline at Seattle Women’s Pride. “Dana is a hoot! We absolutely love her, and she is a good friend,” said Seattle Women’s Pride founder and producer Sarah Toce. “We’re so glad she accepted our offer to come out and play this Pride.”

We sat down with Goldberg to discuss her upcoming performance at Seattle Women’s Pride, what to do when you run into an ex at Pride and her best Pride memory.

How do comedians celebrate pride?

Well, I can’t speak for all of us, but I day drink and make poor life choices.  Kidding…sorta. Usually we’re on stage entertaining the masses with a lot of drunk screaming sunburned proud gays in the audience. I actually really enjoy going to the parades and having an adult beverage or two with some friends. I don’t work a lot of the pride festivals so I’m excited to headline Seattle Women’s Pride this year.

How did you get involved with Seattle Women’s Pride?

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to build a relationship with Sarah Toce, the creator and producer of the event. I’ve been performing once a year in Seattle at Theater Off Jackson to an awesome sold out crowd, so I’m excited to bring my long show to the pride stage for the ladies. It’s going to be a fantastic weekend.

If you’re at Seattle Women’s Pride and you see your ex-girlfriend. What should you do?

Assuming you aren’t actually there with her? You know we’re all friends six months later. If it was a good break up, say hi, visit, you might even make out after a couple of dances and some vodka. If it was a bad breakup, just turn around and walk the other direction. No one needs that kinda drama at pride. Be smart ladies *cue shooting star* The more you know.

What advice would you give to people looking to hook up at Pride?

Make sure the girl is single! Other than that, just be careful of still photography. That shit will end up on Facebook before the night is over.

Tell me your favorite Pride memory.

I had the pleasure of marching in San Francisco’s Pride parade a couple of years ago and there was a sweet male couple in front of me holding hands with a sign that read “47 years together…and finally legally married.” It really puts things into perspective what the LGBT community has accomplished over the years, and now Pride is more of a reason to celebrate those accomplishments…while day drinking! Unfortunately, that couple is never the one who is featured on the front page of the newspaper the next day. It’s always someone in ass chaps with no pants wearing a rainbow boa in 6 inch heels and I’m like, “Is that my English professor?!”

Want to see Dana perform at Seattle Women’s Pride? Tickets are available via Stranger Tickets at $30 General Admission and $45 VIP. The VIP Experience gets guests closer to the action with Priority Entrance, a Meet-and-Greet with Dana after the show, Swag Bags, and more. Visit seattlewomenspride or strangertickets.com/events/31940901/comedian-dana-goldberg-at-seattle-womens-pride for more information.

The post Seattle Pride headliner Dana Goldberg on how to survive pride in the social media age and more first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Anita Dolce Vita

NATASIA LANGFELDER
Lesbian.com

Anita Dolce Vita is the owner, creative director and editor-in-chief of queer fashion website dapperQ. dapperQ was created to serve as #fashioninspo for masculine of center women and trans individuals Over the past few years, dapperQ has quickly become one of the most popular websites among young fashion conscious queer people. Dolce Vita describes the site as, “a queer fashion revolution, one of the most stylish forms of protest of our generation.” dapperQ dishes more than fashion, it dishes empowerment and a sense of community.

On Friday March 11, Dolce Vita and dapperQ are set to hit a mainstream audience at SXSW– an interactive media festival and cultural phenomenon. Dolce Vita will be participating in the panel, entitled ”Queer Style: Visual Activism and Fashion’s Frontier.” The panel will feature eight prominent queer style leaders, including Sonny Oram of Qwear (Boston); Aja Aguirre of Fit for a Femme (Boston by way of The Bay); and Leon Wu of Sharpe Suiting (Los Angeles). We interviewed Dolce Vita about dapperQ, SXSW, work-life balance and fashion.

How did dapperQ come about and how did you become involve
d?

Launched in 2009, dapperQ was originally a personal blog chronicling the individual style of its founder. However, I quickly noticed that dapperQ could be much bigger than another Tumblr-esque fashion blog. There was as serious dearth of comprehensive fashion and lifestyle magazines that were similar to GQ and Vogue, but that actually served the needs of the dapperQ market. I took over the website and brought on a te
am of queer writers, photographers, videographers, designers, and stylists to start producing wide-ranging original content and events for which we have received media coverage in The New York Times, Vice, Nylon, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post, and The Washington Post, to name a few. Our events have been showcased at world renowned cultural institutions, including Brooklyn Museum, the Institute of Contemporary Art/Boston, and the California Academy of Sciences.  This year, we will be the first ever queer style panel to present at South by Southwest during their official Sxstyle lineup.

Congrats on Dapper Q hosting the first queer style panel at SxSW! Did SxSW approach you or did dapperQ take the lead on this one? 

I submitted a proposal to SxSW, which has a competitive application pool. Proposals are considered for SxSW’s annual programming based on a three tier process. Community votes comprise 30% of the final decision, and are not the only factor in the decision making process. The SXSW Programming Committee accounts for 40% of the final decision while the SXSW staff is 30%. SxSW receives over 4,600 proposals annually. We are deeply honored to have been selected by SxSW as one of the leading thought leaders in our industry.

That said, SxSW does not compensate all of their speakers, nor do they pay for a good majority of the participants’ travel costs. Therefore, some of the people I invited to be on the panel to represent a more diverse range of queer style were unable to attend. I acknowledge that participating in SxSW is a financial privilege that not everyone can afford. Luckily, The Brooklyn Historical Society has invited me to moderate a queer style panel in June
during NYC Pride month, and this panel will include voices that were not represented at SxSW due to financial constraints.

What do you hope to accomplish with the panel? 

Our panel, titled “Queer Style: Visual Activism and Fashion’s Frontier,” will feature eight prominent queer style leaders, including myself representing dapperQ (NYC); Sonny Oram of Qwear (Boston
); Aja Aguirre of Fit for a Femme (Boston by way of The Bay); and Leon Wu of Sharpe Suiting (Los Angeles). We will explore queer style as an enigmatic art form that is the new fashion frontier and examine queer style as visual activism that creates positive social change. Attendees will gain knowledge about how to succeed in this growing market using approaches that are effective and culturally competent.

We hope to start a conversation about gender identity and expression, celebrating queer style and advancing greater freedom for all people to express themselves as they so choose, regardless of how they identify. Queer style is a revolution for the people!

As a writer and editor for LGBT media, I see a ton of hateful comments and just crazy negativity. I can imagine as a website that pushes boundaries and questions gender norms, dapperQ is probably also the target of a lot of hate. How do you handle the negative comments while creating a safe space for readers? 

In the beginning, I would take unsolicited criticism personally. I would waste my time engaging with trolls, trying to defend my work. Today, I just live by the motto “haters wanna hate.” Unless, that its, someone posts hate speech, which I delete. Or, if it’s positive feedback and I can legitimately learn from it, I try to put my personal feelings aside and learn from the community.

You have a day job, a really demanding one! How do you balance all of this writing and activism with your career as a nurse? 

Sometimes I do get overwhelmed, particularly when I agree to do too much and don’t have time for self-care, such as cooking, getting a manicure, or going to the gym. But, for the most part, dapperQ gives as much to me as I give to it. After working in an emotionally trying environment all day, it’s nice to lose myself in the art of style as visual activism.

What is your absolute favorite “go to” outfit? 

Well, that depends. As a research nurse, I have the option of either wearing business casual attire with a lab coat or scrubs. To be perfectly honest, sometimes a good, comfy pair of scrubs is my go-to, especially when I know I have dapperQ-related writing or events that I have to focus on after work and don’t want to be in power heels for 12+ hours. But, even when I default to scrubs, I always try to add stylish touches, like sporting old-school Converse with a pair of super dope socks that peek out from under my pants when I cross my legs.

I do have a black, open-back jumpsuit from Club Monaco that’s my version of a go-to little black dress. I can wear a blazer over it to hide the open back for a more business-professional look, but then quickly take the jumpsuit from day-to-play by tossing off the jacket and showing off my shoulders and back for nightlife events.

What is your advice for queer people who
are trying to figure out their personal sense of style in a society with such rigid, heteronormative gender roles? 

Don’t be afraid to experiment and try a variety of looks. Document your style history, noting who your style icons are and what inspires you in your surrounding environment, such as architecture, nature, and art. And, never underestimate the importance of self-acceptance; Many will try to knock you down and discourage you. It’s all about self-love.

For more information on the panel, check out the SXSW schedule. For more on MOC/Trans/Androgynous fashion, head to dapperQ!

The post Interview with Anita Dolce Vita of dapperQ first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Xena and Gabrielle image via Fanpop

NATASIA LANGFELDER
Lesbian.com

Xena and Gabrielle will finally be official, you guys! As Xena fans know, NBC has ordered a pilot from screenwriter Javier Grillo-Marxuach. Grillo-Marxuach, who helped write the lesbian romance on CW’s The 100, said that there would be no point to rebooting the show if it wasn’t true to Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship.

“There is no reason to bring back Xena if it is not there for the purpose of fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually in first-run syndication in the 1990s.”

It’s heartbreaking that we won’t have Lucy Lawless and Renee O’Connor back to reprise Xena and Gabrielle. Especially since Lucy Lawless has been so vocal in insisting that Xena was a lesbian ever since the show ended.

In an interview with Lesbian News in 2003, Xena actress Lucy Lawless said her character was “definitely gay” after she and Gabrielle shared several passionate on-screen kisses.

“There was always a, ‘Well, she might be or she might not be’ but when there was that drip of water passing between their lips in the very final scene, that cemented it for me,” Lawless said.

“Now it wasn’t just that Xena was bisexual and kinda liked her gal pal and they kind of fooled around sometimes, it was ‘Nope, they’re married, man’.” [Source]

Hopefully Lawless and O’Connor will still be involved in the project tangentially. Either way, this remake is exciting news. Xena has held such significance to queer women all over the world for decades and now she’s finally coming out of the closet.

The post Xena: Warrior Princess Remake Will Explore Xena’s Queerness first appeared on Lesbian.com.