photo by Zoe Amos

BY ZOE AMOS
Lesbian.com

From AT&T to ZICO, businesses, non-profits, social clubs, local politicos, universities and more showed their LGBT support at the 40th Anniversary San Diego Pride Parade held on July 19, 2014, in the gay neighborhood of Hillcrest. Parade watchers were blessed with uncharacteristic cloudy skies as they celebrated each contingent as they walked, biked, danced, and performed their way along University Avenue and down Fifth toward the weekend Pride festival held in Balboa Park. LGBT organizations and their allies marched to cheers from the crowd, estimated at a record popping 400,000 plus attendees.

I stood at the corner where the parade began beneath the towering rainbow flag waving proudly at the aptly named Normal Street. Activities began with a roar as the San Diego Women’s Motorcycle Riders, fondly referred to as Dykes on Bikes, set the day in motion. The parade’s Grand Marshall featured Toni Atkins, newly-minted Speaker of the California State Assembly, the first out lesbian elected to this position. San Diego’s finest made an appearance as did members of the military, both active and retired.

Talk about good, clean fun, my favorite float was created by Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap, which featured a plastic-lined room filled with scantily-clad foam-covered dancers who frolicked to the strains of “YMCA.” This conscientious locally-based company handed out samples of their certified fair trade organic lavender coconut scented lotion. To the crowd’s delight, the float spewed fountains of foam high into the air like a giant, white rooster tail.

For over two hours, parade sponsors entertained us with disco, live music, flag and rifle pageantry, hula hoops, and more. Beauty queens and inspirational couples waved politely as they passed in convertible BMWs, and a model perched in a martini glass gestured flamboyantly to the crowd. Banners announced social statements, a credit union handed out rainbow wristbands, and coupons were dispersed to the crowd. Rainbow colors adorned people, their pets, balloons, classic cars, clothing, jewelry, and any available surface, making this colorful display a treat for the eyes. The air was positively charged with a celebratory vibe that fueled smiles and cheers. I could go on and on, but the photos tell the rest of the story.

photo by Sharon Bohannon

photo by Zoe Amos

photo by Zoe Amos

photo by Zoe Amos

photo by Zoe Amos

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com.

The post From A to Zoe: Pride and joy first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Two dozens lesbians and one male (Steph’s father) got together to celebrate by contributing to the nest. All new moms need stuff. They registered, we bought, and handed it over wrapped and tied with rainbow ribbon.

Of course we ate first—duh! Kudos to our party planners who brought out lasagna, brownies, and pie. We finished off the food as if we were all eating for two.

Afterward, there were gifts aplenty to open. While the festivities went pretty much as you might expect, my mind wandered a bit to the (insert announcer voice here) “Lesbian Baby Shower! With today’s guest moms, Steph and Kelly!” What happens when you get a room full of lesbians together for a baby shower? Test your knowledge with this short quiz.

How many knives does it take to cut through the ribbon on a baby gift?
Just one, but there are two dozen back-ups. Don’t take them out all at once ladies. We don’t want to scare Steph’s dad.

Steph opens a gift. It’s Boob Tubes! They are:
a. Breast pumps shaped like TV sets.
b. Breast-shaped drinking straws.
c. A product designed to ease the discomfort of breast feeding that we want you to demonstrate for us right now.

Steph opens another gift. It’s nipple cream! The reaction from the party is:
a. What flavor is that?
b. Whose nipples do they go on?
c. It’s a product designed to ease the discomfort of breast feeding that we want you to demonstrate for us right now.

Steph opens a package of Pampers Swaddlers and is warned about “blow outs.” A blow out is:
a. A flat tire.
b. A smooth hairdo styled with a blow dryer.
c. The most disgusting thing that can happen with a baby’s diaper, and trust me it will, but only when you are by yourself and both of your hands are full.

Steph opens a series of squishy packages to reveal:
a. Baby’s first yoga pants.
b. Baby’s first construction outfit.
c. Baby’s first robot crib sheets.
d. Three dozen “onesies.”
e. All of the above.

As Steph continues to unwrap packages, the gifts take a literary turn with an assortment of helpful and entertaining books: “Counting with Cats,” “Heather has 2 Mommies, a Nanny, and an Accountant,” “Teach Your Baby to be a Dotcom Billionaire,” “Lactation for Fun and Profit,” and “The Case of the Sleep Robber.”

Finally, there were practical items like the nose syringe and a case of Gerber’s hard cider, as well as a few toys including the huggable stuffed rainbow Pegasus, and baby’s first Harley.

When all the gifts were open, I realized we hadn’t played any traditional baby shower games. I remembered the one where you can’t cross your legs or you get a clothespin clipped to your collar. Hmmm, two dozen women and none of them cross their legs—ever. Next! How about the one where you guess the jelly beans in the jar? Oh, someone ate a bunch? They’re half gone? What about adult lesbian games like, “Who’s More Butch?” Wait! Don’t take out your knife!

Okay, so maybe that’s why we skipped the games. We didn’t need them because we had a great time. All the “aunties” are soooo excited; a few even offered to babysit. Steph, Kelly, did you get their names? I noticed these women were seniors and you know what happens to memory, especially when crying babies are involved.

My guess is you’ll both be so entranced by your sweet, little bundle of joy, your idea of fun will be to stay home, put on an adult onesie, and watch her. Then, the real shower begins as you shower her with love. What could be better?

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Baby’s first shower brings rainbows first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Not long ago I attended a salon. A lesbian group of all ages and several ethnicities sat in a circle around the living room. There was a piano, but we weren’t entertained with music.

The attraction was a discussion on violence against women led by a retired military woman.

As you might guess, the figures she quoted in her presentation were appalling and most of us shared like-minded views. There was a lively discussion about how women have been treated during the course of our lives and in preceding generations, the probable causes of continued violence, and the unfortunate reality of lesbian domestic violence.

There were mixed comments about how to approach solving the problem. No real surprises, except one.

During our conversation, one woman wandered off topic twice and commented on how vehemently she was opposed to trans women using the women’s bathroom. On both occasions, someone else in the group quickly redirected the conversation. Though curious, I didn’t have an opportunity to ask why this was a problem for her.

I was baffled that an educated lesbian would hold this view. The fear and anger in her voice were unmistakable as she was frothing at the mouth about safety. I would describe this woman as close to 70 years old and of the radical feminist era that came to be in the 1970s when women took to the streets to “take back the night.” I subsequently learned that there are enough women who hold similar views that they earned the moniker “terf”—trans-exclusionary radical feminist, though not having spoken to her, I admit to the assumption. Terfs do not see transwomen as women. They also see transwomen as a threat, which many lesbians recall was a notable point of contention at Michfest, the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. For more information, read this New Yorker magazine article.

Separate from politics and beliefs, my thought is that anyone who understands the mindset of a transwoman would understand why she needs to use the ladies room. It may be interesting to note that while a tiny minority of self-critical transpeople exist, it still doesn’t presuppose their desire as to which bathroom they feel is most appropriate or safe. I’m not aware of any cisgender woman being attacked in a bathroom by a transwoman. On the contrary, I’ve heard reports of transwomen being verbally harassed or assaulted. I’m also aware of butch women who were asked to leave or somehow prove their womanliness.

No one would mistake me for a guy, and it’s unlikely I’ll ever experience this behavior.

It’s not difficult for me to imagine how I would feel if an emotionally abusive woman decided to lash out with an ignorant outburst while I was washing my hands. And the irony that a person like that creates the same type of hostility she seeks to avoid would likely be lost in translation, and I wonder what her reaction would be if the tables were turned.

Who decides where transwomen and transmen should go to relieve themselves is an ongoing topic. Schools, businesses, and community leaders who control public places with multi-stalled restrooms need to update policy to address this issue to settle the unease of their communities while providing safety. It galls me that fear, ignorance, politics, and beliefs—as is often witnessed through knee-jerk reactions—dictate policy until saner heads prevail in the name of public safety and not only to disallow discrimination.

It can be convenient for individuals, though costly to business and government, to have private rooms where one might perform any manner of personal attention, whether it’s peeing, putting on makeup, changing clothes, or changing a baby’s diaper. Instead of having two separate rooms marked “men’s” or “women’s”, some have posted bizarre new graphics that purport to show mixed gender on the door. Is a picture of a toilet or sink too offensive? What was wrong with “unisex?” Or “humans?” Then anyone could go in and pee in quiet privacy and safety without having to take issue with a particular word, graphic, or bias.

Transwomen have the same needs as other women and men, or whatever designation one chooses to call oneself; they need a safe, private place to pee. Why is that so hard?

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Pees and quiet first appeared on Lesbian.com.

As I prepared for teaching a course on how to write a sex scene for the upcoming Southern California Writers’ Conference in Irvine, it seemed an oversight that I had not read Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James. Since its debut, many people have asked me whether I had read the book—a reasonable question given my interest in erotica. I had not heard great things about the writing and BDSM isn’t my thing, so it was easy to pass. It was a bestseller, however; and to speak intelligently about it during the class, I read it for academic purposes (wink, wink).

The storyline is not unique: pair an inexperienced young woman with a slightly older, experienced man for bouts of instructive lovemaking that lead to the woman’s sexual awakening. How lovely! In James’s book, her heroine, Anastasia, (Ana) age 21, has not so much as touched herself. Really? Well, the story works better that way. The book desperately needs editing, but that only made it easier to skim the irrelevant and repetitive passages.

Honestly, the writing wasn’t as bad as I feared, despite the few times I rolled my eyes, also one of Ana’s annoying habits though not as annoying as the many times she bites her lip. Her slightly older, handsome, wealthy boyfriend introduces her to sex via BDSM, which if nothing else, provides a new perspective to the ongoing problem of women in desperate need of education about their own bodies and how to properly make love by pleasing their man.

What I didn’t expect, was how similar it was to another book I reread for the same class, Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence. This book, banned as obscene until the late 1950s, explores the blooming sexuality of a young woman. In this case, a well-bred woman trapped in a sexless marriage takes a lower class groundskeeper as her lover. Their sex scenes explore her emotional and physical feelings as he introduces her to creative ways to make love. Sound familiar? When this was written in 1928 the subject was presented in a new, bold and daring way. Interestingly, there is a small discussion regarding the ill-advised bedding of lesbians by men.

It has long been the norm of novel-length erotica that a woman’s sexuality—especially when she explores dark corners or ventures into unseemly behavior, e.g., adultery or BDSM—is not looked upon kindly by writers who in requisite fashion make sure the woman character suffers at the end. Fifty Shades is no different. There could be no good outcome for a virgin who steps into the morass of BDSM other than the one provided, so I don’t fault the story for its logical ending.

I find it odd and a bit exasperating that in the years passed between Lady Chatterley’s Lover and Fifty Shades of Grey, a woman’s sexuality is still prime fodder for a morality tale. James reminds us that Mrs. Robinson can be the seductress, but she will pay a price for her actions. So-called “chic lit” and “mommy porn” have given modern women a chance to be sexual without being vilified, but I’m told the genres are losing steam.

Fortunately, there are countless tales in modern literature and trade fiction that celebrate woman’s sexuality. A book of erotica is different than a short story—my usual playground, as writing lesbian erotic short fiction is one of my niches. I do it partly because I like to write the kind of stories I like to read, where strong women are able to explore their sexuality and feelings with positive outcomes.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Shades of erotica first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Lancaster County in Pennsylvania is home to a large Amish population. My sister and I recently visited the area and were intrigued by the number of horse drawn buggies sharing the road with modern cars. It seemed a fun idea to take a buggy ride, during which we were encouraged to ask our driver everything we wanted to know about Amish culture.

Prior research gave us background into the history and differences between the Amish and Mennonites, who also populate the area, and variances in how strictly they adhere to the old, “plain” ways. Amish men, women, and children wear traditional modest clothing, mostly in blue, black and white (no prints), and farm the land much as their ancestors have done for centuries. Homes can use propane, but no electricity. Residents can be driven in cars, but do not own cars. The bicycles I saw did not have chains, but instead were more like scooters that needed a push. I wished I had asked why this was, as geared chains did not seem to be outside traditional bounds.

It’s not unusual for women to find employment in the many antique and tourist shops that dot the surrounding towns, while in addition to farming corn, tobacco and soy beans, men tend to have home-based businesses like building cabinets. The children are schooled in one-room schoolhouses to the age of 15. Then they return to the farm to support traditional Amish living.

When asked about marriage, our driver and guide, Elizabeth, age 58, told us that she married late (at 31) to a widower with three children. They had two more kids and now have twenty grandchildren. She said the Amish are encouraged to marry between the ages of 20 and 25. However, some men and women do not marry and that is acceptable.

Knowing this, I inferred how gays integrate into their social order. They can adopt the Amish lifestyle or leave their group and join another that is less strict. They can also leave Amish living altogether and join the practices of the world at large. Without having to reveal their sexual preference, I understood that gays have choices within their community. Elizabeth assured us that those who leave to do their own thing are not shunned and that visits and letters are common.

She also pointedly informed us that contrary to a popularly viewed TV program, Amish teens do not have a year off to go crazy. Given her emphatic denial, I decided not to ask her about gays in the community. Another reason I didn’t ask was I had a better resource. I returned to my Airbnb rented room where I had become friendly with the two gay men who owned the charming stone house built in 1752. One of them claimed half Mennonite heritage and had left the fold years ago before he came out to his family. At first, he said, they were open and accepting, but later some members expressed discomfort with his lifestyle.

That evening, as we relaxed in the yard overlooking Pequea Creek, I learned that Amish gays were living nearby and secretly seeing one another. One fellow they described as “a flamer” had made it a bit harder for the less obvious to pay him visits. In any case, as I surmised, gays may choose celibacy or quietly see other gays using an underground gay network.

As we know, couples from all corners of the earth give birth to gay women and men, and nothing changes that fact—not their gods, ethnicities, socio-economic status, politics, legalities, or other factors. The Pennsylvania Amish are surrounded by modern American society and their children see for themselves how other lifestyles exist beyond their own. When we asked Elizabeth if she ever longed for or was curious to experience modern ways, she assured us she was happy with her chosen life. Though it may be difficult for a gay child of any religious order to leave their familial traditions, here in the United States possibilities exist for a full life, which is not always the case in other countries.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Amish and gay first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Hold onto your baseball caps, we’re in for a ride. Yogi Berra, known for his mangled quips, reminds us, “It ain’t over, ’til it’s over.” Now that same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states, (Yay!) expect the fallout to come tumbling down and down and down. While SCOTUS has spoken in our favor, naysayers tell us their fight will continue. As with Row v. Wade, the right wingnuts with chisels in hand are already trying to chip at the new law in what will surely be a protracted effort to circumvent the ruling.

Same-sex marriage bans from Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, and Michigan were considered in the SCOTUS ruling. Michigan immediately got on board. They found it best to abide by the full spirit of the law and gay couples have said their vows. Originally named as a defendant, John Kasich, the moderate Republican Ohio governor, said his state was also ready to move on. Political careers can be made or broken by going along to get along. With a presidential announcement likely forthcoming, Kasich can reach constituents who prefer middle ground.

On the other hand, Southern states led the way backward by digging in their heels. Mississippi claimed the decision would not take effect immediately in their state. Another presidential hopeful, Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, is holding on to his belief that the decision should be up to each state. Texas expressed a divided opinion with some counties following the ruling and others holding on to the hope that religious convictions were being trampled—using a “law of God” argument to hopefully trump the Supreme Court and justify their position to withhold marriage licenses, a move that could prompt contempt of court charges.

And on the far right, where the separation of church and state takes on strange forms, we have, shall we say, some unusual views? Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, doesn’t surprise anyone by spouting favorite lines found in the bible about marriage between a man and a woman. Religiously inclined individuals holding on to narrow selective interpretations like to cite a “traditional” version of marriage, but conveniently forget that those traditions have changed over time and no longer include having multiple wives, not being able to remarry except in cases of adultery, and restrictive property laws that exclude widows. Marriage does evolve, but not in the way envisioned by Perkins, who oddly imagines more children being born out of wedlock. Apparently logic has nothing to do with his position. How did this guy get to be president of anything?

Now that same-sex marriage is legal, other ridiculous claims have surfaced, such as, it will bring about bestiality, pedophilia, and the wrath of God in the form of whatever anyone feels like saying God will do to smite us. Call me cynical, but from my vantage point, it seems many of these fire and brimstone claims are merely vehicles for collecting money to further the careers of the people who get paid to spout this nonsense.

I’ve yet to hear anyone say that the advancement of LGBT human rights has happened precisely because it is God’s will. I could sit through a lot of extra innings before that ever happens. It ain’t over, ’til it’s over.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: It ain’t over, ’til it’s over first appeared on Lesbian.com.

photo by L. Bost

There is something motivating about scarcity that compels us to seek out that which is missing. When we can’t have something, we want it — badly — now!

It’s not unusual to voluntarily remove something from our lives: a bad habit, a toxic relationship, a boring job, or for the sake of discussion—potato chips. When we change our diet, we become obsessed with the item we intentionally remove. It was our choice, yet suddenly, nothing would be better than eating potato chips. In our minds, we tell ourselves we don’t want potato chips. We weren’t thinking of potato chips, and in fact we don’t eat them all that often, but now that we cannot have potato chips, nothing else will do! We must have potato chips! Now!

And so it is with me and my GF, who is off in Hawaii with a long-time friend of hers on a little vacay. “Great! Go,” I said. “Have a good time with your friend.” I could have gone, but I’ve been to the Big Island twice and I already have travel plans with my GF for later in the year. They left a few days ago and now that’s she’s gone…

Now! I have to hear from her now! I am checking for texts. I am checking on Facebook for messages. I am checking my e-mail for little notes about where they went and what they had for dinner. I’m trying to get on with my day, but really, I’m thinking about her. I’m not writing, or at least not focused on my writing, because I’m imagining her at that snorkel spot I mentioned, or perhaps she’s taken a side trip to the old church. Yes, she sent me a couple of pics of the view from their room and another of her having a drink near the beach. I’m stuffing these images into my head faster than a handful of forbidden, deliciously salty, chips. They’re not enough. I need more.

The thing is, we talk or e-mail a few times during the week and rarely see one another on weekday evenings. She works. I work. Our face-to-face girlfriend time is on the weekends. We get together on Friday night and spend a blissful weekend together before going our separate ways. Nothing’s changed. I saw her on the weekend, she left for Hawaii. I’ll see her the following weekend. No matter. She’s not here and like the diet example, all I can think about are the potato chips I can’t have. It is irrelevant that our normal contact hasn’t changed. She’s thousands of miles away, not ten minutes away. There’s something about the scarcity of her presence that makes me miss her more than I could have imagined. I want what I can’t have—now!

We exchanged a few brief messages and spoke on the phone. I heard about the first half of her trip. Things are going well, the weather is good, an excursion to Hilo and a side trip to Volcanoes National Park are coming up. Everything’s fine. Right?

I cheer myself that I will hear more stories when she returns. I believe it’s important to have a life outside our relationship and I like hearing about things she’s done on her own. It will be great to see her. She’ll be a bit tan and the smell of coconut shampoo will linger in her hair. We’ll grind up the Kona coffee beans she will surely buy and as we sip our drinks, she’ll tell me about the pretty yellow tangs and parrot fish that swam near the multi-colored coral. As she speaks, I’ll devour each word until the false sense of scarcity fades while savoring the little details that add flavor and depth to her experience. When I’ve had my fill, I’ll remember the refrain from this Dan Hicks song for the next time she takes a vacation without me:

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?
Keep telling you day after day.
But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay.
How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Gone girlfriend first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, declared her support of same-sex marriage along with several other same-sex positions. Armed with a graphic Powerpoint presentation that included videos, Clinton explained exactly how her position had changed and how happy she was when she made it. Her delight was shared by the LGBT community who not only welcomed her support for same-sex marriage, but busted their collective butts to get home to try out the new positions.

The surprise announcement came despite Clinton’s avowed heterosexuality. At a news conference Clinton said, “Shifting my position felt natural and frankly, being on top of my subject makes me feel more comfortable. It was a long time in coming and I felt a great release.”

Responding to her statement, spokesperson Anita Muff from the lesbian PR firm Butch and Cassidy, remarked, “It’s understandable that Clinton prefers being on top. It’s a natural expression of her personality. After all, she’s a powerful woman. We would expect her to take charge.”

Years ago, Clinton’s detractors tried to discredit her by calling her a lesbian. Since then, this country has witnessed a sea change in attitudes, lesbian wannabes dominate the media, the USA soccer team accepted straight women, and with the exception of a few backwater hold-outs, a majority of states have passed legislation to further same-sex marriage and civil liberty protections.

Even in Indiana and much of the South, where stubborn attitudes cling like liars to falsehoods, closeted gays found reason to hope. “It’s a mystery to me why women continue to vote against their best interests,” said one woman who preferred to remain anonymous. “Perhaps this new revelation will free women to vote their conscious and stop being led like sheep to the slaughter. Also, I tried one of the positions she recommended and my partner and I loved it! Wow! Check out slide eleven on the PowerPoint. She’s got my vote.”

Interviewed at home, Florida republican Jeb Bush scoffed at the news. “This ploy is merely a political version of ‘Girls Gone Wild.’ She’s taken a page from her husband’s playbook to get publicity. Should I join the presidential race, I’m not worried about getting women voters. History has proven how much women like a Bush.”

While Clinton’s appeal for women is busting out front and center, millions of men find her an attractive candidate, too. Roland Tumble, director of the San Francisco-based LGBTQQIAXYZ Center said, “We cheered at her commitment to our community. Hillary is hot and ready to go. It’s times like this, I wish I were a lesbian.”

Upon hearing the news, another San Franciscan, Monica Lewinsky, also made an astounding admission. In a Twitter post that has since gone viral, Lewinsky tweeted: “Finally can tell rest of story. My only interest in Bill was to get to Hillary. So happy for her. Hillary, call me.”

A spokeswoman in the Clinton camp indicated there could be more startling announcements in the days to come, inferring that Clinton’s openness at trying new positions bodes well for other aspects of the leadership role she hopes to win in 2016.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Same-sex positions cause Clinton uproar first appeared on Lesbian.com.

It’s been quiet on the western front here in California, though mostly pleasant. After I fixed the broken water line that sprayed the front of my house all night, I got to work on my taxes. Yep, annoyances included, everything was life as usual for me until I read about the suicide of a north county San Diego transgender youth named Sage.

I learned of Sage’s death on Facebook. The family asked for privacy, which I understand. I hope they felt the outpouring of support and love from our community expressed in the accompanying comments. I couldn’t leave a comment, but my moment of silence is over. Here it is, a mere two months after the well-publicized death of Leelah Alcorn, and I have to wonder if the people who need help are listening.

As much as I wish this was an exception, Sage is not alone. The CDC website reports that around 4,600 young people between the ages of 10 and 24 take their lives each year, and a whopping 157,000 receive medical care for self-inflicted injuries. Other sites I visited reported higher figures, but we can never know the true numbers when you consider unreported attempts and those who remain undetected, suffering emotionally without visible wounds as they anguish over whether or not to end their lives — or perhaps more to the point, to end their pain.

The number of suicides among LGBT youth is higher than their straight demographic, approximately four times higher. Estimates by the Suicide Prevention Resource Center state between 30 to 40 percent of LGBT youth consider suicide. That number rises to over 40 percent for transgender youth. LGBT youth are more likely to be depressed, use illegal drugs and engage in risky behavior. As meaningful and tragic as these numbers are, accurate statistics are hard to come by as sexual orientation and gender identity may be hidden.

The accurate statistic I know is the life of a young person is gone and nothing will change that fact. A few weeks ago, I read about another young person elsewhere in the county who also committed suicide. Seeing these articles makes me feel sad for what could have been. To me, they are not just statistics. I did not know them, but I know their lives mattered.

This month marks the 35th anniversary of my sister’s suicide. I can tell you the questions surrounding her death linger to this day. It saddens me to know she was in so much pain that she took her life. To this day, I despair that she could not get to a place where she could have begun to thrive again, to be the happier person I like to remember, and when I see articles about other young people in similar situations, I feel sadness for them and their loved ones. Yes, it’s personal.

Beyond the sadness, there is hope; hope that other young people will listen to others who say “It gets better.” When you take your life, you remove all chances for that better life. You remove the chance to help others in a similar situation.

Help is available. The It Gets Better Project is a way you can help others and is a great resource if you need help. They recommend the Trans Lifeline, a transgender crisis hotline at (877) 565-8860. The Trevor Project specifically addresses LGBT youth concerns at (866)-4-U-TREVOR (866) 488-7386. You can also call the national Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255).

If you or if someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, end your moment of silence and make the call. Lines are open 24/7. You will be directed to people who understand and can help you. Don’t delay. Your life may depend on it.

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: A moment of silence on the LGBT front first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Aphrodite, fuel my desire so I may burn with the pleasures of love! How I long to caress voluptuous women, their firm, round breasts exposed above draped tunics, enticing me to avail myself of their hidden treasures. Ah, how poetic, the gentle seduction of women ripe for the picking.

The goddess of love and beauty could easily be a muse for an erotic story set within a sun-splashed Greek garden filled with vases, greenery and naked statuary. Alas! I live in the United States where bedroom adventures tend to include painted walls, last week’s sheets and the sound of the neighbor’s barking dog; all excellent reasons to turn toward, as Monty Python announced, “And now for something completely different!” What is this? “The Big Book of Domination,” a collection of erotic fantasies edited by D.L.King.

I’m all for Greek gardens, but some days (or nights) nothing but the indelicate will do. The whips, ties, leathers, lubes, commands, and cries for mercy are far removed from some people’s norm. Whether it’s a lifestyle or a few hours pleasure, there is something wickedly erotic about BDSM that its proponents don’t share in polite company and precisely why this book, which you can read in the privacy of your own chamber, is just the thing to get your juices flowing.

Need I mention my own story “Madame Tuesday” is included in this wonderful collection? While some take their BDSM very seriously, I’ve presented it with dark humor. A contradiction? Not at all. There’s plenty of delicious forceful action between the domme and her female client, and there’s nothing like a little “levity” (read the story to understand the double entendre) to break up the gravity of BDSM.

I’m not sure why the lesbian domme is commonly found in the world of BDSM, but why bother with the why? Whether you relate more to the domme or to the woman (or man) receiving an afternoon of pleasure is beside the point. There will not be a quiz afterward. You may keep your fantasies to yourself. And if these stories whet your appetite, imagine what else might get wet!

Read on and you will discover other scenarios sure to entice. Everyone’s tastes vary and part of the fun is to find which stories will tap into an undiscovered corner of your libido. Be open to something completely different. To be fair, Monty Python’s skits included innuendo and teasing, nothing like the bold action represented in this compilation published by Cleis. D.L. King’s selections are top notch. Men and women, doms and dommes, two-somes, three-somes, there’s a little bit of everything within the theme, and with almost 300 pages of quality writing and over two dozen short stories, you are sure to see some of your favorite authors.

You may choose to harbor your desires in secret, but why not share the love? Get the book. Read a story to your lover and discover what happens next. You are bound to be bound with excitement!

Here’s the entire blog tour line-up:
1/17 D. L. King
1/19 Valerie Alexander
1/21 David Wraith
1/23 Giselle Renarde
1/25 Amanda Earl
1/27 Evan Mora
1/28 Angela Sargenti
1/30 Athena Marie
2/1 Anna Mitcham
2/3 Rachel Kramer Bussel
2/5 Zoe Amos
2/7 Olivia Summersweet
2/9 Katya Harris
2/11 Alison Winchester
2/12 Malin James
2/14 Laura Antoniou

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

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