Two dozens lesbians and one male (Steph’s father) got together to celebrate by contributing to the nest. All new moms need stuff. They registered, we bought, and handed it over wrapped and tied with rainbow ribbon.

Of course we ate first—duh! Kudos to our party planners who brought out lasagna, brownies, and pie. We finished off the food as if we were all eating for two.

Afterward, there were gifts aplenty to open. While the festivities went pretty much as you might expect, my mind wandered a bit to the (insert announcer voice here) “Lesbian Baby Shower! With today’s guest moms, Steph and Kelly!” What happens when you get a room full of lesbians together for a baby shower? Test your knowledge with this short quiz.

How many knives does it take to cut through the ribbon on a baby gift?
Just one, but there are two dozen back-ups. Don’t take them out all at once ladies. We don’t want to scare Steph’s dad.

Steph opens a gift. It’s Boob Tubes! They are:
a. Breast pumps shaped like TV sets.
b. Breast-shaped drinking straws.
c. A product designed to ease the discomfort of breast feeding that we want you to demonstrate for us right now.

Steph opens another gift. It’s nipple cream! The reaction from the party is:
a. What flavor is that?
b. Whose nipples do they go on?
c. It’s a product designed to ease the discomfort of breast feeding that we want you to demonstrate for us right now.

Steph opens a package of Pampers Swaddlers and is warned about “blow outs.” A blow out is:
a. A flat tire.
b. A smooth hairdo styled with a blow dryer.
c. The most disgusting thing that can happen with a baby’s diaper, and trust me it will, but only when you are by yourself and both of your hands are full.

Steph opens a series of squishy packages to reveal:
a. Baby’s first yoga pants.
b. Baby’s first construction outfit.
c. Baby’s first robot crib sheets.
d. Three dozen “onesies.”
e. All of the above.

As Steph continues to unwrap packages, the gifts take a literary turn with an assortment of helpful and entertaining books: “Counting with Cats,” “Heather has 2 Mommies, a Nanny, and an Accountant,” “Teach Your Baby to be a Dotcom Billionaire,” “Lactation for Fun and Profit,” and “The Case of the Sleep Robber.”

Finally, there were practical items like the nose syringe and a case of Gerber’s hard cider, as well as a few toys including the huggable stuffed rainbow Pegasus, and baby’s first Harley.

When all the gifts were open, I realized we hadn’t played any traditional baby shower games. I remembered the one where you can’t cross your legs or you get a clothespin clipped to your collar. Hmmm, two dozen women and none of them cross their legs—ever. Next! How about the one where you guess the jelly beans in the jar? Oh, someone ate a bunch? They’re half gone? What about adult lesbian games like, “Who’s More Butch?” Wait! Don’t take out your knife!

Okay, so maybe that’s why we skipped the games. We didn’t need them because we had a great time. All the “aunties” are soooo excited; a few even offered to babysit. Steph, Kelly, did you get their names? I noticed these women were seniors and you know what happens to memory, especially when crying babies are involved.

My guess is you’ll both be so entranced by your sweet, little bundle of joy, your idea of fun will be to stay home, put on an adult onesie, and watch her. Then, the real shower begins as you shower her with love. What could be better?

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Baby’s first shower brings rainbows first appeared on Lesbian.com.

Aphrodite, fuel my desire so I may burn with the pleasures of love! How I long to caress voluptuous women, their firm, round breasts exposed above draped tunics, enticing me to avail myself of their hidden treasures. Ah, how poetic, the gentle seduction of women ripe for the picking.

The goddess of love and beauty could easily be a muse for an erotic story set within a sun-splashed Greek garden filled with vases, greenery and naked statuary. Alas! I live in the United States where bedroom adventures tend to include painted walls, last week’s sheets and the sound of the neighbor’s barking dog; all excellent reasons to turn toward, as Monty Python announced, “And now for something completely different!” What is this? “The Big Book of Domination,” a collection of erotic fantasies edited by D.L.King.

I’m all for Greek gardens, but some days (or nights) nothing but the indelicate will do. The whips, ties, leathers, lubes, commands, and cries for mercy are far removed from some people’s norm. Whether it’s a lifestyle or a few hours pleasure, there is something wickedly erotic about BDSM that its proponents don’t share in polite company and precisely why this book, which you can read in the privacy of your own chamber, is just the thing to get your juices flowing.

Need I mention my own story “Madame Tuesday” is included in this wonderful collection? While some take their BDSM very seriously, I’ve presented it with dark humor. A contradiction? Not at all. There’s plenty of delicious forceful action between the domme and her female client, and there’s nothing like a little “levity” (read the story to understand the double entendre) to break up the gravity of BDSM.

I’m not sure why the lesbian domme is commonly found in the world of BDSM, but why bother with the why? Whether you relate more to the domme or to the woman (or man) receiving an afternoon of pleasure is beside the point. There will not be a quiz afterward. You may keep your fantasies to yourself. And if these stories whet your appetite, imagine what else might get wet!

Read on and you will discover other scenarios sure to entice. Everyone’s tastes vary and part of the fun is to find which stories will tap into an undiscovered corner of your libido. Be open to something completely different. To be fair, Monty Python’s skits included innuendo and teasing, nothing like the bold action represented in this compilation published by Cleis. D.L. King’s selections are top notch. Men and women, doms and dommes, two-somes, three-somes, there’s a little bit of everything within the theme, and with almost 300 pages of quality writing and over two dozen short stories, you are sure to see some of your favorite authors.

You may choose to harbor your desires in secret, but why not share the love? Get the book. Read a story to your lover and discover what happens next. You are bound to be bound with excitement!

Here’s the entire blog tour line-up:
1/17 D. L. King
1/19 Valerie Alexander
1/21 David Wraith
1/23 Giselle Renarde
1/25 Amanda Earl
1/27 Evan Mora
1/28 Angela Sargenti
1/30 Athena Marie
2/1 Anna Mitcham
2/3 Rachel Kramer Bussel
2/5 Zoe Amos
2/7 Olivia Summersweet
2/9 Katya Harris
2/11 Alison Winchester
2/12 Malin James
2/14 Laura Antoniou

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post A to Zoe: Book dominates my thoughts first appeared on Lesbian.com.

They say kids mature faster these days. I hear about girls aggressively pursuing boys and doing so at an earlier age than when I grew up. It’s partly our technological age of communication with revealing content front and center, kids being exposed to adult situations, peer pressure and bodies maturing earlier. I remember the point when playful interaction between classmates changed to something more and the boy who asked me to go steady.

My first recollection of boy/girl interest took place in second grade when a boy showed his affection by repeatedly punching me in the arm. Protests to my teacher fell on deaf ears, but eventually she switched up the layout of the classroom — problem solved. In third and fourth grade, the boys chased the girls, or vice versa, all in good fun. By fifth grade, the playful aspect took on the beginnings of maturity and curiosity. Many of the girls started to develop and subsequently, boy-girl parties started to form with pairings.

At this time, I noticed a shift in a male friend, Dan, who lived a few blocks away. We two were labeled the “smart kids” and, as such, found one another good company. During summer vacation we played Parcheesi and chess, splashed around in his above-ground pool with his best friend and strolled down to the ice cream parlor with our few cents to buy penny candy. Once, we combined our money and bought a soda. We got two straws and leaned in to sip, our foreheads almost touching, just like the teens we looked up to on TV. I sensed the shift.

I began to realize Dan liked me, not in the way he used to like me. Now, he “liked” me. His best friend also sensed the change and reacted jealously. It created conflict and that boy left the picture, at least while I was around. I liked Dan, but not as a first boyfriend. It created a small amount of tension, though not enough to stop our friendship.

Dan made no secret of his feelings and our classmates thought we made a great pair. They tried to push us together. Suddenly, I couldn’t be with him only as his friend. There was anticipation and hopeful expectation. When would I agree to hold his hand? Would I let him kiss me? I did neither. My classmates didn’t understand why I wasn’t agreeing to go steady when it was obvious (to them) we were meant for each other.

Liking Dan as much as I did made it hard to explain why our friendship couldn’t be something more. My female classmates wanted the boys to show interest. They wanted to hold hands. They wanted a little kiss. Dan was cute, smart and consistently vocal about his interest. Notes were passed in class. My disinterest to further our pairing didn’t make sense to any of them.

The decisive moment came when our class took a field trip to a local camp to spend a few nights. We visited the nature center, took hikes and played Capture the Flag. The girls’ and boys’ cabins were separate, but we dined and had free time together. It was during a free moment in the lodge that we sat in a large circle on the floor and played Spin the Bottle. There were almost thirty kids there. When it was Dan’s turn to spin, the bottle pointed directly at me. What were the chances! His face brightened in amazement and joy. Excitement peaked in the room as he approached. They were rooting for him, for us. I heard the kids groan as I turned my head to let him kiss me on my cheek, instead of the lips. I couldn’t let him do it. As disappointing as it was for my friends to witness this moment, so ripe with potential, I knew it would be devastating to lead him on and spurn him later.

No one knew I had a crush on a girl.

To be continued. Stay tuned!

Zoe Amos brings her lesbian point of view to articles and stories on diverse topics. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her stories on Kindle and Nook. Check out her other life at www.janetfwilliams.com

The post From A to Zoe: Crush or be crushed? first appeared on Lesbian.com.