Have you ever wondered what makes one lesbian so happy and others seems pissed off, grumpy or sad? It’s not an accident that some lesbians are happier than others. No matter how happy or sad you are, there are things you can do to increase your happiness. Here are seven places to start.

Are Comfortable with their Sexuality
Lesbians and bisexual women who are comfortable with their sexuality and are happier than those who are in the closet or who struggle with the fact that they’re gay. Accepting yourself as you are is a big part of being happy. Coming to accept yourself as LGBT is a process and can take time, but those who come to accept themselves life happier and more fulfilling lives.

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Ashleigh Flynn (Photo: Richard Hallman)

BY KATHY BELGE
LesbianLife at About.com

If you enjoy the music of Brandi Carlile, Patty Griffin or Nanci Griffith, you’re sure to fall in love with singer/songwriter Ashleigh Flynn. Not only is Flynn a talented musician, with stellar vocals, she’s most notably gifted storyteller with a vibrant and upbeat stage personality. She’s been busy touring the US and Europe, playing festivals such as Bumbershoot, Bonnaroo and opening for John Hiatt, Shawn Colvin, the Wood Brothers, and Todd Snider.

Flynn just released A Million Stars, her fifth album. The album is full of stories of powerful women, including those from the American Western Frontier and a cover of Ma Rainey’s gay and proud “Prove it On Me Blues.” There are other gay-positive surprises on the album, including a gay-positive rap for LGBT teens. Ashleigh took a few moments to talk with Lesbian Life about her music.

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BY KATHY BELGE

Whether you’ve just met or have been going out for a long time, everyone knows the way to keep romance alive is to continue to explore new things together while enjoying intimacy and communication. What better way to do that than to take her on a date? Here are some great ideas for Spring dates for lesbians and bisexual women.

1. Visit a Garden
There’s no better time to visit a garden then in the Spring when everything is starting to bloom. You can get lost for hours at a lilac or rose garden, wandering around and smelling the flowers. Buy her a bouquet or plant on the way out.

2. Check out the Local Music Scene
Whether it’s the pops or pop music, a crunchy folk performer or a hot dyke band, every town has a local music venue. Many towns have free weekly newspapers that list all the venues and which bands are playing. See if the band has a website. You can listen to your sound to see if you like it and also see if they have any gay or lesbian “friends.”

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Shawn (left) and Jocelyn. (Photo: Maggie Parker)

BY KATHY BELGE
LesbianLife at About.com

I met Jocelyn and Shawn when they were a few of the couples who braved the chilly December morning to wait in line for a marriage license in Washington State on December 6, 2012. They headed to Mexico, Jocelyn’s home country, to celebrate their honeymoon.Their dreams were shattered, however, when Jocelyn was stopped by Customs and denied entry into the US. Although she had a valid tourist visa, her new marriage license was actually preventing her from entering the US.

According to Derek Tripp from The DOMA Project, a legal advocacy group, essentially what DOMA does to same-sex couples is that it won’t recognize their relationships enough to grant them the same kind of access heterosexual couples would have to bring a spouse into the country, but it will use the information to penalize them. In this case, they see that Jocelyn is not simply a tourist looking to visit this country, but that her intent is to establish residency here with her partner. There are currently no legal ways for a same-sex couple to sponsor a partner for a green card, the way an opposite sex couple could. Here’s the story of what happened to Shawn and Jocelyn and what you can do to help.

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Good relationships don’t just happen, they take dedication and work. But you also need to know what to work at. Here are some tips for a happy and healthy lesbian relationship.

1. Don’t Expect to Get Your Needs Met

Expecting someone else to meet your needs is a failed concept. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and what you can do to support your partner. This will bring out the best in both of you.

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As we head into a 2012 presidential election battle, there are many issues to consider when voting for a candidate. There is the economy, health care, women’s rights, foreign relations, and social security. Many Americans are also concerned with the issue of gay rights and which candidate will do the most to preserve the gains that LGBT Americans have made over the past decade.

We’ve compiled a summary of some of the issues that affect the LGBT community and where each candidate stands on those issues.

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There’s an old joke: What does a lesbian bring on the second date? Answer: A U-Haul. It’s been said that lesbians move fast into relationships and there certainly is some truth to this stereotype. But if you’re serious about lesbian dating, it really takes a series of dates to get to know someone. The first date is really just about meeting the person and finding out if you have any chemistry and enough in common to determine if you want to see each other again. If you’ve had a first date with someone you met through a lesbian dating site or elsewhere, and you’re intrigued enough to want to know more, how do you go about getting a second date?

The first way to ensure that you get a second date is to make sure the first date goes well. Avoid some common first date mistakes like talking too much about yourself, your ex or your dog. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you and cause you to overindulge in alcohol and try to be polite, friendly and upbeat.

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Inger and Philippa
with their daughter

BY KATHY BELGE
LesbianLife at About.com

Inger and Philippa’s story is sort of a modern romance. They started to get to know one another via a social networking site in 2008. Both shared a passion for tattoos and had friends in common. “The first time we typed at each other on msn, I think the conversation lasted about 10 hours,” says Philippa. “It was so easy yet when she asked for my number because she was curious as to what I sounded like I became really nervous. I remember the first time I answered the phone and heard her voice…it was amazing, I can’t put words around it but I knew that she was someone who was going to be a huge part of my life.”

This sounds like the beginning of a beautiful love story. And it is. As Inger and Philippa began to fall in love, they concentrated on one another and their feelings. Discriminatory US immigration laws were far from their minds. But because Philippa is from the UK, maintaining a relationship has been difficult. This is their story:

Philippa’s Words:
Life changed dramatically in May of 2008 when my mother became extremely ill. I spent everyday for three weeks at the hospital by my mother’s bedside watching machines keep her alive. She knew about Inger and had paid for my passport. I never had a passport because I was afraid of flying. In all that time the one person that kept me going was Inger. She answered the phone whatever time of day it was. She kept the webcam up so that she could watch over me and when I woke with night terrors she was there to comfort me. The doctors removed the sedation so my Mum was awake for a couple of days and she made me promise I would go and meet Inger and her daughter.

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Whether you met her online and she lives a thousand miles away, or if you were in a relationship together and one of you had to move, maintaining a long distance lesbian relationship can be challenging. This article will offer you advice on how to keep the love alive in a long distance lesbian relationship.

The best way to ensure a long distance relationship is going to work is if you have a strong foundation to begin with. If you’re both committed to making it work and understand the challenges inherent in a long distance relationship, you’re well on your way. If your relationship is rocky to begin with, staying together while miles apart is going to be much harder.

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Normally when I compile my list of lesbian summer books, there’s a lot of lesbian fiction, mystery and romance novels on the list. Just like reality TV is really big now, memoir and true stories are also very popular. That’s why this year’s 2012 lesbian summer reading list has more memoir/biography than any other genre. What are you reading this summer? Any good books to recommend and add to this list?

1. “Are You My Mother: A Comic Drama” by Alison Bechdel
Alison Bechdel’s last book, “Fun Home,” chronicled her relationship with her closeted gay father. It only makes sense then, that her latest graphic memoir, would take on her relationship with her mother. Bechedel is beloved by many as the author and artist who for years created the lesbian comic series “Dykes to Watch Out For.” Despite the graphic drawings, “Are You My Mother?” is not a light read. In fact, it’s quite an intellectual as well as artistic feat, citing, among others Virginia Woolf and on the psychologist Donald Winnicott. For those looking to delve into something with a bit of depth, “Are You My Mother?” is just the book for you.

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